Wouldn't it be nice if customers stopped being FUCKING MORONS?

The BBQ Pit
1

Ok, I work at Dollar Tree, not the 99, 98, 97 cent store, not the dollar store, or any other of the miriad of names people call it.
DOLLAR TREE
Six foot fucking letters on the front of the building, on my nametag, on every cart, 3 foot letters on each wall, and every single sign in the store says it. Dollar Tree.

Guess what? Everything is a dollar. Ok, not everything, some things are less, but must you be so shocked? Must you run over to your toothless wife yelling at the top of your lungs
“Hey Babe, This here Sodey Pop is only One DOLLAR, HOLY SHIT thats a good deal, Hey you (to me) HOw does the company afford to sell this shit so cheap?”

I shrug my sholders and say I dont know. Knowing full well that if I explain that eveything was bought at 25 cents at the max, this inbred goober is going to ask me if i can give him a little discount, and he will promise that he will keep it “our little secret”

Please, just because you keep popping kids out for the welfare money and you waste it on speakers for your pimpped out Dodge Aries and now can afford to shop only here, keep your fucking mongrel kids on a leash, in the car, or at home. One more flying pacakge of brownies with sprinkles, one more rampage with a can of shaving cream down the isles and your going to find your kids superglued to the window.

If you are thinking that you are going to pull a fast one on one of the employees by bringing up an entire case filled with 72 shitty toys and try to get it for a dollar your fuckingout of luck. Yeah, 4/5ths of the people who work here cant tell their ass from a hole in the ground, but they still know full and well that a box full of shit isnt a dollar.

If you bring your dog in, despite the signs saying only guide and service dogs allowed, (by the way, a weiner dog is not a guide dog, especially a puppy) and i find it shitting on the floor, your going to find it in the cardboard bailer, if you complain, you just might join it.

Take a bath, please.

Take a look in your wallet, think about tax. If you only have 5 bucks on ya, chances are pretty fucking slim that your going to be able to pay for three carts full of merchandise. Oh, and just try dumping 20 bucks worth of pennies on my counter again, you might be finding them getting crammed up your ass along with whatever polystone dolphin can opener you were trying to purchase.

If you change your mind about getting something, bring it up to a cashier, they get paid to put it away, and it makes them happy when they get done for the night, and they dont find 50 bucks worth of disgarded product jammed under boxes on the other side of the store.

Dont get pissed with me because you thought something was 2 for a dollar because you read the pringles sign and grabbed a bag of pretzels instead. READ THE SIGNS, they arew there for a reason, not just to look pretty blowing in the wind.

They are mandarin oranges, not ManDURian orange, and vienna sausages not Vianna sausages.

Referring to tampons as plug-ins will most assuradly get your redneck ass laughed about for years to come, calling them Tampoooons wont help much either.

Well, that being said, I feel much better.

Oh one more thing, the scanning POS system, Its there for inventory, not so I can figure out the price, fuckwit.

2

Oh one more thing, all the threats were a joke, I wont put anyone, or their dog in a bailer, and I wont superglue anyones kids to the window.

It would be too much paperwork. And a waste of perfectly good superglue.

3

It would be. I await the arrival of the “THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!” morons, but I agree with you. God. Working a dollar store must SUCK!

4

“Plug-ins?”

“Plug-ins?!”

Holy shit, that’s the funniest thing ever.

EVER!

5

I used to work as an insurance salesman.

Yes, if you have 3 tickets your insurance will go up.

Yes, if you have 3 tickets on your motorcycle, your car insurance will go up even if you don’t insure your motorcycle with us.

When the letter we sent you says you need to pay X amount by Y date, paying 1/2 of X without making arrangements will get your insurance cancelled.

I don’t care what kind of health coverage you have, medical insurance on your car insurance is mandatory (ok, this just may be in Michigan)

Anyway, never work with customers who are forced to buy your product. They’re not happy about it.

Work in a tropical fish store, the customers are all hobbyists and you’re providing them with their means of relaxation. They’re much nicer then.

6

OH shit! fnord That was you!?!?

I was sent by my buddies on a practical joke to see how pissed off you would get!! Man did it ever work! :smiley:

:wink: I have a point though.

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Oh.

I misread the thread title.

I thought it said “Wouldn’t it be nice if customers stopped FUCKING MORONS?”

…and I thought, “Man, where does this guy WORK?”

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A whorehouse fulla bimbos?

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Address! I need an address!

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Not far off actually. One of the cashiers is a dirty slut. she picks up guys in her line. 2 at a time even. One time she even went home with this one dirtbag several times because he said he would buy her a boob job. it’ll cost you a dollar for me to introduce ya if you know what I mean(trust me, I am ripping you off, you should pay me not to).

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So, this Dollar Tree, how much do they sell stuff for there?
:smiley:

I hardly ever go in a dollar store; I much prefer upscale joints like, er, Big Lots.

Actually, here in Houston, dollar stores have proliferated like roaches. There’s a strip center not far from here that has THREE of the poxy things.

12

I’m waiting for someone to post some variant of “If you don’t like it find another job/get an education/just fucking deal with it you whiny loser.”

13

I was at Sam’s yesterday to buy one of their roasted chickens, and the guy who was supposed to put another batch out wasn’t real happy that there were a bunch of us lining up to get them, so he was getting real passive aggressive about doing everything else first. So another lady, with her ten-year-old son, and I were visiting about how slow he was, and I commented that he was “overworked and underpaid.”

To which her well-propagandized son replied, “That’s because he didn’t study, right?” His mom answered, “That’s right, an education is very important!” Then she turned to me and whispered, “I use it every chance I get.”

Gotta love her style. :smiley:

Dollar stores in the US are populated with morons, this is true. But the 100-yen stores in Japan are WONDERFUL. Although most of their stuff is in multiples of 100 yen. I can’t imagine working in one of them in any country, though!

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Mama, you LOVE her style? He didn’t study so he’s working at Sam’s Club? What fucking economy are YOU living in? I’ve seen people with very high educations forced to talke jobs in retail because their companies closed down completely- the jobs they held are just not there any more.

That’s an assholish thing to say and an even more assholish thing to agree with, IMHO. Gotta love her style. Um, yeah. Real nice.

15

If any parent ever used that in front of me, I’d smile and say “I’m a grad student.”

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In answer to the question posted, yes it WOULD be…unfortunately it won’t happen because these idiots think they’re RIGHT all the time. Let me 'splain…

I work in customer service for a Nationally Known Cell Phone Company. I’ve worked in Customer Service in various positions for over 20 years and for this particular company for two, so I think I know how to do my job pretty well. I get calls from people who THINK they are going to tell ME what they are going to do…or…what I am going to do. Uh-uh, Spanky. Games not played that way. There are some rules, and here they are:

  1. Being the customer does not automatically make you right. In fact, being the customer puts you at the mercy of me or whoever answers the phone when you call in.

  2. I didn’t prepare your phone bill so don’t call in screaming like the idiot you are when you run up a bunch of charges. Also, don’t lie to me and tell me you didn’t make all those calls. I was born at night, but it wasn’t LAST night, ok?

  3. When you call in to a Customer Service Center, keep in mind that the CSR you are talking to has your name, your address, your phone number and (in some cases) your SSN and credit card info. Is this REALLY someone you want to yell at about STUPID CRAP?? With times being what they are, can you imagine the damage one of my cohorts could do with this info if you piss them off!?

  4. Don’t expect me to treat you like you are the only customer I have to deal with. Trust me. You AREN’T.

  5. Don’t call just to pass the time of day. I don’t really care to hear about your recent surgery, your corns, your ungrateful kids who never visit. I’m a CSR not an Agony Uncle.

  6. Just so you know, employment screenings aren’t very thorough…especially on the psychological aspects. Don’t give a CSR a ration of crap and then act surprised if they show up at your door one day. I personally know of one CSR who had nothing better to do on their vacation than take a Road Trip in which he visited every customer who had given him crap over the previous year. He had a good run until he ran across a customer who had a bigger gun and was quicker on the draw…

  7. Lastly…if you call in and there is a queue (hold time), don’t get all bent about it. Your time is no more valuable than anyone elses. If you don’t wanna hold, hang up and call later. If you DO hold, and it’s a 5 min hold, don’t lie and tell me it’s been 30…I’m liable to dump you back into the queue so you can actually WAIT for 30 mins.!

17

I would get a better/different job, but around here, there isnt much. Especially places that will give you wahtever schedule you want so you can go to school.(the education thing)

Now a 100 ¥ store sounds like fun. Of course being a lover of all things Japan, it would be like heaven. That and the Japanese are not nearly as rude.

18

I worked at Wal Mart in a small city for two years… one of which was in layaway during Christmas. I feel your pain.

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Oh, man, I thought working regular retail hell at Christmas was bad. Can you imagine working in a dollar store?

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I SEE YOU…