Wow, I'm soft? Okay, I'm soft. Sh*t, I'm soft!

This reminds me of the time that my husband told me that I’m short. I’m 5’5" and never thought of myself as short before he told me that.

On Thursday, at work, a co-worker told me that I’m soft. Actually, the word she used was “smooshy.”

I was like, “Wait. Am I one of those girls you have to be careful around because you don’t want to hurt their feelings?” The co-worker denied this, saying I’m sensitive but not whiny. Well, at least I got that goin’ for me.

Throughout yesterday I played around with a co-worker from another group on our floor… every time we passed each other, we’d do fake tackles or elbow each other, etc. I should mention at this point that all of the cubes on my floor are short-walled. So everyone can see you, if they choose, even from across the floor. Anyway, at the end of the day I saw the perfect opportunity to pull a punch right on his stomach. I do a slow-pitch wind up, really fakey, so that everyone (including him) knows I’m joking around. But before I connect with his stomach, at about 90% of my power, I connect with a cube wall. The crowd gasps.

I smile broadly and walk quickly back to my cubicle saying, “Aw, it was nothing. Doesn’t hurt at all! I’m fine.”

I nonchalantly check my e-mail, silently panicking because truly, it hurt like Hell. But I haven’t looked yet.

I sneak a glance. Blood. Not good.

Co-workers in my area are still asking me, “Gee, are you sure you’re okay? That didn’t sound good. Are you hurt?”

I protest that I’m fine but then I sneak another glance and realize I’m bruising up. Oh sh*t. What a freakin’ idiot I am! I start crying. Cube Mom (oldest person in our group by 20 years) runs off to get some ice and my other co-workers console me, saying, “It looks bad - you might want to have that checked. Oh, does it hurt?”

I tell them I’m crying from embarrassment, not pain. It’s numb and I’m a moron. I’m suing my workplace - they should have “No Horseplay” signs in there!

My right index finger is just bruised and slightly scraped. I have a small scab. The sad thing is that I proved two co-workers right yesterday. I am soft and I shouldn’t be fooling around because, as Cube Mom says, “Someone could get hurt!”


that is some funny fucking shit…thanks for the laughs hahahahaha

I’m really trying not to laugh… really.
I’m sowwy you punched a cubicle and hewt your widdle hand and cwied and cwied and cwied.
Oh good lord thats funny… I’m sooooooo sorry! NO really… I am sorry you hurt yourself and were embarrased… that always sucks. I try to make light of those situations and laugh at myself so everyone else can laugh too.

Go ahead, laugh at my expense. That’s how I entertain myself!

Well, I guess it’s mildly amusing, but as someone who hates crying in front people yet somehow manages to do it constantly, I understand your humiliation. Everthing makes me cry. Physical pain, anger, frustration, you name it. There’s nothing more embarrassing than crying in front of a lot of people - especially after you’ve put up a big brave show of being perfectly ok, no really, I’m fine thanks.

Sounds like something in my repertoire- always accidentally injuring myself. Doors and walls exchange places as I approach. Rugs curl up before I walk on them. Cats crawl under my feet. Stairs disapper before I step on them. But it’s that “I didn’t mean to do that, but it happened, no really I’m alright” attitude with dignity that’s necessary in public.

Then crawl under the couch and cry “Oh frippin’ meow.”

And don’t think of yourself as ‘short’ – I am also 5’4" and I am :stated proudly: ‘condensed’.

BTW, what composer did you pick for your music class report?

Awwww screech ya sweetie…

You make me feel “not-so-alone-in-this-world.”

Umm… Haven’t actually settled on a composer yet. I gotta revisit that thread to see the suggestions. Erik Satie is very alluring.

We’ll see and I’ll keep ya posted!

::: pats Cant on the top of her little head :::

“There, there.”

All better?


Yeah, thanks rysdad.

Show up for one of the Minnesota Doper conclaves and you can do it in person!