Write a story!

I will put up a list of 16 unrelated words, and you have to make a coherent story using them. Have fun!

Hard drive
jelly roll

Applesauce, the androgynous penguin

One fine day, while pondering my next canoe trip, I.had a strange thought. “What if I could creat a race of asexual flightless aquatic fowl? I could be rich! Or, at least, as powerful as Elton John.”

Well, I had to get cracking on it, no one else is going to make me God. Straightening up my tube socks, I put on my boots and boot up the computer. One day soon, I’l have to replace that hard drive. Can’t keep kicking them forever.

Just then, I hear a rapping on my window. Holy crap! It’s a walking barracuda! No, wait… It’s just Heart on my mp3 player. which started automatically with my computer’s start up sequence.

The person raping on my window is dougie monty.

“That’s enough of you, NoClueBoy, I’m the big cheese around here!”

“The jelly roll, you mean,” I taunt the slim young man. “I need a wheelbarrow to haul all of your bad posts in.”

“Up yours,” he retorts, “You couldn’t find a good story if was sitting on your bookshelf!”

This angers me. Angers me so much my skin turns almost snow white, as though I have gangrene. I scan my room for a weapon. Seeing my Grammy Award on it’s pedestal, I grab for it. But, being very slightly drunk, I stumble against the wall and crash onto my harmonic resonator, the device which helped me win my Grammy.

“Shit!” I say to no one in particular. “That hurts!”

b]dougie monty** leaves as mysteriously as he appeared and I get cracking on that genetic code. Splicing the genes from an alfalfa plant, my ex wife, and a garden slug, I creat the first ever asexual flightless aquatic fowl. It imerges from the incubator and makes beeline for my fridge where it gorges itself on honey buns and applesauce.

Looking at my Rolex TM, I see it’s time to meet Kn*ckers, vivalostwages, carniverousplant, Tars Tarkus, and Diceman at Sunspace’s house for our weekly drinking session.

“Be good, little bird!” I holler as I walk out the door. Little did I know what Applesauce had planned for us…