Some changes I would make:
I would probably rewrite it to look something like this (although worded better if this were official)
No level of government (federal, state, or local) shall:
[ul]
[li]Create a religion.[/li][li]Have an official religion.[/li][li]Create laws, rules, regulations, or ordinances that favor one religion over another.[/li][li]Create laws, rules, regulations, or ordinances that govern how people worship, with the sole exception that any religion that sacrifices animals must have them killed in the quickest and most painless way possible.[/li][/ul]
Bans on religious speech, displays, or articles of clothing may only exist as part of a wider ban. For example, clothing with religious messages cannot be banned, but a ban on clothing that contains any messages, which would include religious messages is acceptable.
Religion may not be used to deny anyone under 18 standard, mainstream medical treatment.
Freedom of speech may not be abridged, except in the following cases:
Liable.
Slander.
Fraud.
False alarms.
Direct orders to break the law.
Child pornography
This one would be tough for me to rewrite without a long list of restrictions, so I’ll only say for now, that I would make people’s personal lives off limits to the press.
People shall have the right to peaceably assemble. If the assembly is large and would interrupt foot, bike, or automobile traffic, the local government, or state government has to right to require permits. If the assembly is small and does not interfere with traffic, nor interferes with surrounding businesses, the assembly of people may not be relocated or broken up. If the purpose of assembly is to picket, they may do so, provided that they are either on private property with permission of the owner, or on public property. Picketers may not interfere with foot, bike, or automobile traffic.
I’d leave this as/is.