I thought that once you become an adult you would never again be scared or worried about anything. How wrong I was.
That the 1965-era rock music, pop art and wild party scene would somehow stay in place for me as I waited to become a teenager. (Spoiler: stagflation, disco, AIDS and the war on drugs instead)
The late 1970’s are my least favorite era of American cultural history. Everything – the music, the color schemes, the hair, the clothes, the furniture, Ronald Reagan, my friends dying, and everything promising getting either forgotten or co-opted. Bleah.
I had a similar idea. I thought a battle worked like a sporting event – both sides lined up their soldiers on the battlefield, and then they shot at each other for a while, and then at the end someone tallied up the causalities on both sides and the side that sustained the fewest causalities was declared the winner.
I mean, generally the side with the fewest causalities does win, but I pictured something like a referee literally keeping score.
A cousin told me babies come out of the butt.
One which I’ve just remembered, which I didn’t mention in the other thread:
I knew that water froze at 32 degrees Fahrenheit, and that it had to be cold (usually colder than that) to snow. I was under the impression that, if it was raining, and the temperature was dropping, the moment that the (surface) air temp dropped to 32F, the rain would immediately transition to snow.
I thought Washington,. the nation’s capital, was in Washington state.
I was in my 20s when I figured out the joke about you can’t get down off an elephant.
I thought blinkers we’re literally GPS. In a car the blinker would automatically turn on to tell you when to turn to get to your destination.
You certainly didn’t grow up in my WASP world. I didn’t even know any Catholics or Jews. Or anyone who’s parents had a foreign accent.
I believed that the world was fair and that if I worked hard and tried my best, I would be rewarded by life.
The realization of the truth was quite shocking and disappointing.
I thought horses were makes and donkeys females of the same animal. I never thought the same about dogs and cats because we had both dogs and cats of both genders.
Which reminds me, for the longest time I thought the Washington Redskins were from Washington state, not DC.
True enough, I didn’t. Northeast US, outer suburbs of a very large city. Oh in hindsight, there were WASPs around, but I guess they didn’t dominate the area, numbers-wise.
I used to tell people that the city flag of Amherst, Ohio was a wasp on a white background. Maye I’ll…Oh hell no. I don’t want to encourage people.
I used to think that people who moved to a new house traded houses with the previous occupants.
Not that I’m the biggest fan of the game but I was well into my 40s before I made the connection that the Washington Football Team is in DC and not the state.
I thought that the Mercury launch escape rocket worked by having the astronaut climb up into the latticed support structure, and then blast away from the capsule. (And that’s why the escape rocket nozzles didn’t point straight down.)
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one , I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”–Mark Twain
Actually, I never thought my father was “so ignorant”, but we did have some lively arguments over how certain mechanisms worked.
Before Clinton/Lewinsky I thought oral sex meant talking about it. Really.
I learned quickly that there wasn’t a the bomb, but then I got pissed at adults saying “they’re going to drop the bomb”, or “How to stop worrying and love the bomb.” I thought it was stupid to act like there was only one. I understood global nuclear deterrence at a young age. Just precocious, I guess.
As for things I believed, I thought that if I stood next to my mom when she smoked, I could tag along when she went to Marlboro Country. It looked like a fun place. Amazing I never took up smoking.
I thought there was an upper limit to the sky, like a ceiling. I called it the “skyline”. I got a fair ration of ribbing over that one.
Like thinking you would be forced to play college football, I thought that when you went to college you HAD to join a frat and be hazed. I was deathly afraid of having to go to college. Same with the service academies. I thought hazing was stupid, and that you couldn’t escape it. At least it wasn’t true in college, I found out.
Gorilla Warfare sounded really cool.