WTF!? Hyenas aren't dogs!

I had always assumed that hyenas were related to dogs, and if not in Canidae, at least in a closely related family. They look like dogs to me. Nooo, I find that their family, Hyaenidae, is more closely related to meerkats and mongooses (Herpestidae)!

I hate it when I find out stuff like this. Granted I’m happy to clear up my own misconceptions, but I don’t like having such misconceptions. It’s much like when I first discovered that Malta exists. I was ~14 at the time, and my thoughts were, “HTF did I not notice a country sitting smack in the middle of the Mediteranean! I stare at maps all the time!”

And lady Hyenas have something very, very odd between their legs :eek:

Yeah! I read about that too. From that same stub, “The female hyena is an exception as it uses its pseudo-penis for urination, copulation, and to give birth.” So how does copulation and giving birth work?

Giving birth must be like passing a kidney stone. A 6-pound kidney stone. :eek:

What bugs me is that when I was a kid, a panda wasn’t a bear. Now a panda’s a bear?! What the hell is up with that? I think they’re just jerking my chain, now.

Actually, to make things even more confusing, it was originally called a bear (particolor bear), then later it was decided that it wasn’t, and it was renamed the “giant panda” because of its presumed much closer relationship to the red (or lesser) panda, which at the time was just called “panda.” I don’t think at the time that the red panda carried a qualifier.

Hyenas aren’t dogs? Don’t tell these fellows.

(This in particular is maybe the most badass photo I’ve ever seen.)

And it turns out the closest relatives of whales are hippos.

Genetic work has been shaking up bird classification recently. It turns out that Turkey Vultures are actually related to storks, rather than the kind of vultures you get in Africa.

You know, I really like critters of all kinds. There are exactly two, however, that just inspire me with waves of revulsion. One is that tropical centipede which we Dopers have discussed and shuddered over many times. The other is the African hyena. Those pictures just make me squirm with horror. Those animals are murderous! You just know that those owners/handlers are going to eventually die between the jaws of their “pets”.

That has got to suck at bars.

Suppose that depends on the type of bars you frequent. :smiley:

It certainly gives a new meaning to “Coyote ugly”. :slight_smile: Hell, the male hyenas don’t know whether to ask her to play pool in the bar or make out in the parking lot.

The above link says that the clitoris (pseudo-penis, I’m assuming) ruptures to allow the young to pass through, and takes several weeks to heal.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

crosses legs firmly

I’m sure I have read somewhere, or perhaps seen on a documentary, that the hyena is very strong on family values. The standard of care the animal shows for its cubs is high relative to many other animals. I can’t find a cite though.

No disrespect, but clearly you’ve never been to the Shady Oaks Bar & Grill in Niceville, Florida.

(rip…it folded somewhere around 1975. too bad, coulda got a lot of movies and/or cool movie characters from there.)

So how do they get pregnant in the first place??

I was wondering that myself. How does the male achieve penetration?

Are tree shrews still Primates?

The funny part of that article, to me, is the bit at the end:

"This anatomy article is a stub. "