In this corner: Easy Company
Sgt. Rock, Bulldozer, Wildman, Jackie Johnson, Ice Cream Soldier, Little Sureshot, Four Eyes, Zack, Long Round, Short Round, Canary, and Worrywart! These hard-as-nails fighting men fought in every major battle of the European theater and countless skirmishes. They are armed with an assortment of small arms ranging from the .45 caliber pistol up to a bazooka and .30 caliber machinegun.
and in this corner:The Howling Commandos!
Sgt. Nick Fury, Dum Dum Dugan, Gabriel Jones, Reb Ralston, Dino Manelli, Izzy Cohen, Pinky Pinkerton, and Eric Koenig! This close-knit band of killing machines also fought in many major battles as well as countless behind-the-lines actions. They, likewise, use a variety of small arms with their selections running more heavily toward the commando-chic submachinegun and hand grenades.
I gotta give this one to Easy Company. Quickly, easily, and with a maximum of bloodshed. The Howling Commandos would be Easy Company’s Howling Bitches.
Army Air Force Lietenant Benjamin J. Grimm occasionally fought with the Howling Commandos; if he’s there, Easy doesn’t have a chance. Nothing stops the Thing, and that was true even before he was the Thing.
But Rock vs Fury… well… Fury would only need a few minutes to scrape what was left of Sgt. Rock off his boot, then’d he go on to skull pummel Hitler while he got mouth whoopee from Eva Braun.
Right, which is why they picked David Hasselhoff to play Nick on screen, right? Cause he’s so tough that only Hasselhoff could bring that to life, right? Right?
If the battle takes place in a campy, overwrought, and loud battlefield with time anomolies and crappy knockoffs, the Howling Commandos would win.
If we’re talking about an honest, realistic, and down to earth battle, Sgt. Rock and Easy Company get the win. But it would be a hard-fought, painful battle with heavy casualities on both sides, 'cause nothin’s easy in Easy.
