WWN Hero Turkey

Does any one know where I can find the article about the hero turkery that saved a family of six? Any help would be apreiciated(sp?)

Sorry, they don’t seem to have it posted online–not everything in the newsstand issue makes it to the Website. :frowning:

I might have it upstairs in the stack, but the trouble is, if I type it all out for you, then the mods will bust me for copyright violation.

I think you’re on your own, sorry. :frowning:

FWIW, its title was “Hero Turkey Saves Family of Six”.

It’s the November 27, 2001 issue, on page 8.

Bill’s 85-year-old Uncle Leonard heard “gobble, gobble” and felt something pinch his testicles through his underwear. He looked down and saw the family turkey frantically hovering over him and pecking at his, ah, package. His teeth not being in, Uncle Leonard screamed “as loudly as his gums would let him” and ran into the hallway, waking up the rest of the family, who all ran out into the hallway, where they all noticed the turkey jumping up and down in distress, its “its fire-truck-red wattle shaking like a distress signal.”

The brave bird led them downstairs and out through an open kitchen window to safety, and when it was sure the entire family was out of the house, it turned around and went back to its pen (which was presumably outside the house.)

The punchline:

David, whoever (and whatever) you are, my hat’s off to you. :smiley:

Sounds bogus to me. A ten year old with a gun collection?

I did a search for “Potter’s Town, NC” and “Shomblack” and could find nothing. There are some other things that send up red flags too.

Among others:

*While written in psuedo-journalistic style, it uses words and phrases that a journalist would not usually use.

*Anyone who has ever kept turkeys would never, never let them in the house.

*A David Mirsky used to specialize in questionable (but highly entertaining websites).

I will do a serious search during the work week when I can expect more people to be at some official sites.

I assume that “WWN” is short for “Weekly World News”. If so, I was under the impression that basically everything in their tabloid is false, and no one really expects otherwise. I mean, this is a paper whose cover once had a picture of an evil looking cloud to accompany the headline of (going from memory, so probably quite a bit off) “Satan escapes from Hell through Mexican oilwell”. the_duke_69 didn’t ask if the story is true, just if anyone knew where he could find it, so my guess is he understood it to be bogus, but wanted to find the article for whatever reason.

[either TV Time is an absolute glutton for ignorance-fighting punishment, or we’ve all just been royally whooshed in a most marvelous and sophisticated manner]

Absolutely, no question about it, it’s all made up. I even read, in I Watched A Wild Hog Eat My Baby!, a history of the tabloids, where the publisher of WWN quite cheerfully admits that “everything in there is 100% made up”.

I didn’t think the OP was asking for confirmation or debunking, just the story itself.

Which is a wowzer, as WWN stories go. :smiley:

What can I say? Slow weekend, the brain on hold…

My band wrote a song called hero turky and we want to use the cover of the mag as the cover art! thanks for all the help!