X-MEN not human, judge rules

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/0,,SB1043013622300562504,00.html?mod=home_page_one_us

Oh the irony! Toy biz wanted them ruled non-human because import duties are less for toys than dolls. The government wanted the reverse. (I’m guessing for financial reasons rather than a concern for metahuman rights)

Not sure how she determined that Kraven the hunter was not human. She mentions “highly exaggerated muscle tone in arms and legs”. Should Barbie™ be ruled nonhuman due to her exagerated features?

Brian

Damn the Mutant Registration Act!!!

[sub](full speed ahead)[/sub]

My favorite quote there is this:

“If Kraven isn’t human, what about the twisted villains in Dick Tracy? Or worse yet, Superman himself?”

You mean Superman the alien?

Well, if my X-Men action figures hadn’t killed my Senator Kelly Action Figure, we wouldn’t have this problem.

Damn Muties!

Seriously, this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while.

Well of course they’re not human. They’re homo sapien superior instead of homo sapein sapien. I mean, did it really take 32 pages of explanation for a judge to figure that out? I thought it was well known for awhile now. In fact calling a mutant a human being is tacky and just plain wrong.

I think the real issue here is… why are toys different than dolls? God forbid we have import rules that are simple or anything, we need to keep those administrators working hard, i suppose.

Did anybody else get the image of Spaceballs in their head?

Judge Barzilay: (as voice of Cyclops) Jean Grey, I want to make out with you.

(as voice of Jean Grey) Cyclops, look out it’s Wolverine.

(Wolverine) Slash, slash. You’re dead Cyclops and you’re all mine Jean.

(Jean Grey) No. I mean yes. Your claws are so sexy and big. YES! YES!

[Door opens and Baliff pops head]

Baliff: The lawyers are here to see you.

Judge: (in a high pitch voice) What have I told you about knocking! Did you see anything.

Baliff: No Your Honor! I didn’t see you playing with the dolls, I mean toys, again Your Honor.

Judge: Good because I was only doing comprehensive examinations of them.

Wait. Can’t mutants crossbreed with humans to produce viable offspring? That would make them the same species, wouldn’t it?

Does anyone else find it funny that her descision was writen in 32 pages…the same length of most comic books?

Personally, I find it silly for people to be angry about such a thing. So, they’re called “creatures” instead of “people” because they want to ship them to foriegn countries at a lower cost. Big deal. Because the toys are called “inhuman” doesn’t effect the comics one lick of difference. The “humanity” that writers have been struggling to make known for years is still there in the books, so what’s the big deal?

As for her reasonings with Kraven…has she seen any of the WWF wrestling figures? Talk about overexagerated! I mean, sure, these guys are buff in real life, but the toys make them look goofy as shit. I’d like to see her declare them “inhuman.” Then we could put wrestlers in a big cage and make em fight and no one could say anything about human rights abuse.

Oh…wait…