Harold von Braunhut, who used comic-book advertisements to sell whimsical mail-order inventions like Amazing Sea Monkeys, tiny shrimp that pop to life when water is added, died on Nov. 28 at his home in Indian Head, Md. He was 77. Von Braunhut was to quirky inventions what Barnum was to circuses. His X-Ray Specs, which advertisements said allowed wearers to see through flesh and clothing, are still selling after 50 years of guffaws. Hermit crabs as a pet? Thank von Braunhut for Crazy Crabs.
But von Braunhut’s piece de resistance was Sea Monkeys, which come from dried-up lake bottoms, not the sea, and are not monkeys but brine shrimp. His extravagant claims for the crustaceans - for example, that they come back from the dead and that they can be trained and hypnotized - are convincing because they are sort of true. (The shrimp do follow light.)
In a radically different sphere, von Braunhut’s hard right-wing beliefs drew notice. According to a 1996 Anti-Defamation League report, he belonged to the Ku Klux Klan and the Aryan Nations. (!!) The Washington Post in 1988 published an article on him and his affiliations, adding that his relatives said he was Jewish. He repeatedly refused to discuss his beliefs on race or his own religious background.
“Xray specs” are just pin-hole glasses. You get shadowy fringes around people. If you have a tremendously active imagination, you might believe the fringe is the skin/clothing and the underneath is the “real thing.”
I am teaching my sea monkeys to conduct a funeral procession by following the beam of a flashlight. Afterward I will add an eyedropper full of whiskey to the tank for the wake.
And you thought U-Boats were scary. Imagine the sheer terror as thousands, no, MILLIONS of the pinkish little bastards overwhelm your fish tank, slaughter your fish, and then march towards France, all the while supported by a miniature army of Sea Monkey flying model airplanes and driving model tanks. Creepy.
Except, of course, that if you really wanted, you could just squish them.
For some strange reason, I find this passing very sad. It kind of is the end of a bullshit era. Fun bullshit, not mean bullshit. I mean…didn’t everyone know it was crap? I was nine and recognized it for what it was. Such fun.
I always loved to read the hyped-up ads on the backs of comic books as a kid. Such fun…now a by-gone piece of yesterday. (sigh)
