My folks divorced when I was 10. A few years later, my mom re-married. My stepdad has two daughters, L and J. L is about a year younger than I am, J is about a year older. Much to everyone’s surprise, the family integrated very well, and my brother and I became very close to J and L, but particularly L. (J moved out of the house shortly after we all moved in together.) We hung out together and became great friends. In fact, I’m currently roommates with L and her boyfriend, and we love living together. In short, L is as close to me as a blood sister would be.
A couple months ago, The Parents (as we call my mom and L’s dad) told us that they’re getting divorced. We knew that they’d had some problems several months ago, so it wasn’t a huge shock, but still very sad. L was especially concerned about losing her relationships with my brother (N) and my mom (S), both of whom live on the opposite coast, in California (L and I live in Boston). N and L are less than a year apart, age-wise, and shared a lot of friends and interests in high school, and became very close friends, again more like blood siblings. J and L’s mom died of cancer shortly before The Parents got married (they postponed the wedding), and J and L got to be very close to my mom as well.
After we found out about the divorce, J and L talked to each other. Then they talked to N and me. Then they talked to their dad.
L is out in California right now, visiting her dad and my mom. Today, she asked my mom to adopt her and J, and Mom said yes.
I know there will be a long intermediate period of paperwork and legal stuff, but at the end of it, L and I will be sisters. I need a smiley for happy tears.
Yeah, sorry 'bout all the letters. Still, you can be glad I avoided refering to my mom (S) and stepdad (M) by their initials!
Oh, and thanks, Adoptamom_II. Something tells me you speak from experience.
Now I have to figure out what my relationship to my stepdad will be. He’s not married to my mom anymore, so he’s not technically my stepdad, but he’s going to be the father of my sisters, but I already have a father… I think I’ll just keep calling him my stepdad and hope things don’t get any more complicated.
Are L and/or J over eighteen? I’ve always wondered if you could adopt a non-special needs adult as your child, so I find this intriguing. Congrats on getting everything made official!
Yup. J is 25 and L is 22. This site lists a few reasons that adults adopt adults, and (at the bottom) has links to state-by-state laws on adult adoption. Both California and Massachusetts allow adult adoption, so there shouldn’t be a problem. I expect that J and L will catch some flak from their mother’s family for their decision, which is too bad. I know that they love and miss their mom, and that the adoption is a way for them to cement an aditional mother-daughter relationship, not to sever the old one, but I can see how other people might not understand that.
