A FOAF dropped dead in his garage last month at the age of 30—left a wife, two kids, no will and no insurance.
Y’all have your wills made out? No matter how young and healthy you are, you can still have a safe dropped on your noggin at any moment. I have a complete will, with who gets what, including the cats (no, who gets the cats, not what the cats get), and what’s to be done with What’s Left of Me. Also has the numbers for all my billing cancellations and bank accounts (I had to search for that myself when my father died!).
I don’t have any life insurance, as I haven’t anyone to leave it to (the cats can damn well fend for themselves).
In fact, if you want to make it even easier on your surviving loved ones, look into a trust. It’s a bit more expensive than having a will done, but it’s worth it if you have any significant assets, such as a house.
Actually, Mr. S and I have been working on one. We have no kids and no relatives who would be interested in our stuff, so most of it gives specific items to friends. There won’t be much cash left, but what there is will go into small memorial scholarships.
One question, Eve: Do you have instructions regarding the disposition of What’s Left of You somewhere besides in your will, in a place where it will be found quickly (or preferably where someone knows about it)? My reading tells me that wills are often not even looked at until well after the body has been disposed of.
Eve, you may very well be the most morbid and moribund person here. I have no desire to confront my mortality just yet. However if I do, by some freak happenstance, get married, I will take this advice to heart. At the very least having a will is a good idea.
I wasn’t going to reply to this thread, but I need to reply to a couple of other posters. In response to the OP, I’ll just say that I can’t write a will right now. All persons concerned with my state of mind would see a will as a sign that my claims to be no threat to myself are untrue, and I don’t really feel like being involuntary committed at the moment. But, Eve, I promise that just as soon as I’m back on balance, I’ll get to it. Just for you.
Opal, you wonderful person you: You need to think about what will happen to your child if you and Mr. Cat were to perish together. Your will is not just the document that says who gets what. It is the document of your final wishes, and in it you can state who is to care for the little one if he is orphaned. I know it’s hard to think about, but I’ve seen enough of your posts to know that you can do it.
adam yax, dude: Please put smileys in posts that you mean as jokes. If you post was not meant as a joke, please apologize to Eve for being so rude to her. She is trying to do something very noble and kind with this thread and she doesn’t deserve your name-calling as her reward.
Opal, if you have a son you need a will–don’t assume that the people you would want to end up raising your son will be the people who actually end up raising your son if the unspeakable happens. Or that there won’t be some monstorous court battle as concerned people fight over him. Even if everyone agrees that the same person should take custody of your son, it will make the atual process much simpler if you and your husband’s wishes are down in black and white.
I just reread adam yax’s post, and I still don’t read it as rude. Wills are, after all, a somewhat morbid topic, and let’s not forget that Eve is the self-proclaimed SDMB Queen of Obitua. I don’t believe the way he phrased his thoughts was rude either – straightforward, perhaps, but that’s no crime in my book.
Just my two pennies (and no offense intended to KneadToKnow).
That’s fair, Scarlett67. I certainly meant no offense to adam yax, which is why I made as my first assumption that he was joking. I’m just very uncomfortable with name calling. That’s why I keep my nose out of the Pit.
Wow. Eve, you are so right. Just as I was posting a response to you, my browser crashed. Really makes you think, doesn’t it? :rolleyes:
But in all seriousness, just because you don’t have anybody to leave the money to, you should still have life insurance. Funerary costs are outrageous, no matter what your plans are for that lovely bod. Insurance will defray the expense. That way, nobody will have to sell all those lorgnettes or donate you to the Soylent Green factory.
No significant assets, no children, no pets. Just a decent amount of cash and investments, and all would end up under the control of my wife upon my death if they aren’t already. If we die simultaneously then I don’t really give a damn what happens to the money; the banks can keep it for all I care.
If we die at the same time then I don’t really care what happens to my stuff. If anybody in my family can find a way to lay claim to it, more power to them.
I have life insurance, but only because it is really cheap through work and I don’t have to think about paying the dues. My wife makes much more money than me, so loss of my income would not be a significant burden on her and my funerary expenses could be just about zero. My preference is to be cremated and thrown away (or donated to a lab if any want me) but they could leave my rotting corpse out in the street for dogs to eat for all I’ll care. If we both die simultaneously and my family feels a need to do something extravagent with my body then they can damn well pay for it themselves.
All in all, I don’t have a will because I don’t really care what happens after I die. The only exception being that I would create a will if it is the best way to ensure some asset would remain under my wifes control upon my death.
I know that a lot of people don’t like to think about stuff like this, but we’re all going to die and the kindest and wisest thing we can do for those who survive us is to make appropriate preparations. Speaking from my experience, I think it definitely lessens the already considerable stress for family and/or friends.
Mine were made long ago. I have a gravesite as well, which is located amongst those of my relatives.
It doesn’t bug me too much because I guess I’m used to the idea. I’ve been visiting that particular graveyard since I was a kid, and it doesn’t have any really bad associations for me.
I mean, I’m not ready to die yet, I hope, but I guess I’ve had my whole life to get used to the idea. I just hope there’s somebody left behind me to put a nice wreath on it at Christmastime. That is actually one of my fondest childhood memories; we used to do that every year on the day before Christmas Eve and then go get lunch.
Coincidentally, I had mine drawn up last week (along with directions for my care should I become incapacitated and what I want done with my remains when I die). One copy is in my safety deposit box along with my stock certificates, birth ceritificate, passport, my father’s gold pocketwatch, insurance policies, title to the car and truck, bank records, and some other stuff (including a letter to my daughter that I wrote to her on the night she was born), and one copy is with my brother, who I named executor of my estate. He also has the answer to the question I left with the bank so that he can gain access to my deposit box should the time come. Sorry, everyone, but everything except my father’s watch goes to Lilly, Queen of the Universe. The watch goes to the youngest surviving male at the time of my demise.
Yup, I’ve got a holograph will. Being a poor student I figured that it would have to do, so when it needs updating I sit down and rewrite that sucker longhand. The last time I updated it was before I went to Quebec City for the protests.
My parents, by way of contrast, had theirs written up by a lawyer before they went to the Bahamas. :how droll: Anyway, it runs to like ten or twenty type-written pages, and names my aunt as my brother’s “tutrix”. As I will never tire of telling people, “tutrix” is the silliest word in the English language.
I was told (admittedly by someone other than a lawyer)that a hand-written will is acceptable. If I have been misinformed perhaps I can enjoy the same deathbed “who cares?” attitude as Picasso. If I havent been able to live with as active testes as old Pablo’s, I can at least die equally intestate. I may even manage to quote “drink to me,” as my last words (although, as dire utternaces go, “gimme a drink” would be more likely).
As far as taking out the trash: I’ve made arrangements for the nearest medical school to play doctor with my corpse for one year, after which they pay to cremate what’s left. Because I live a certain distance away, my estate has to pay for a 100.00 hearse ride to the university, which kinda bites, but it’s a lot less than any other (legal) option would cost.
I’m not too worried about it. I mean, I’m DEAD! Who cares what happens after that? I don’t really think that anyone I know cares so much about my stuff that they’d want it after I died. “Oh yeah, Sarah had this really nice pair of socks that I really hope she left to me in her will.” Riiiight. Final expenses? I’m with obfusciatrist in that I don’t care what happens to my “remains” once I’m gone. Cut me up and ship me off to those “Feed the Children” foundations for all I care, if my family wants a big, nice funeral, they’ll have to cough up the funds for one.
I might feel slightly different about this once I own stuff, or get married/have children, but that’s not now so this is the answer you get.
Scarlett is right: talk about your wishes for your “final disposition” with your loved ones, and keep the instructions somewhere other than in your will. Otherwise, you’ll get whatever your family wants (rather than what YOU want) plus a “whoops” at the reading.
But, Eve, I promise that just as soon as I’m back on balance, I’ll get to it. Just for you.
or donate you to the Soylent Green factory.