Papa Tiger also reminded me of the guy who does door-to-door auto body repairs – out of an old grocery cart.
He actually hired him to fix a crease in the fender of our old car; did a good job and for cheap, too. He’s on Social Security and supplements his income. We see him working all around the neighborhood.
We have door-to-door fish sellers. They’re selling out of a big expensive looking refrigerated truck with the company name, logo and phone number stenciled on the side, however, so we have every reason to believe they’re legit. If they’re fencing fresh fish (and try saying that three times fast!), they’ve picked a damn expensive way to do it.
Up in Trondheim they had a two-week route, so they’d ring our doorbell every other Tuesday. In typical trønder fashion, all they’d say when we answered was: “Feskebil!” (“Fish truck!”) Here I can’t figure out what the system is; most of the time they park the truck and sell from a gas station parking lot or something, but they come door-to-door from time to time.
We get the meat sellers. They always have some story about having too much and they just want to get rid of their load so they can go home.
It’s like the guys who sell speakers, except with meat.
Speaking of people selling stuff off their trucks, when I worked for a liquor distributor, we regularly had deliveries that were not completed for various reasons (deadbeat COD account didn’t have the funds to pay for the shipment, bar owner too drunk to rouse for signature, etc). Once when a driver called in asking us to approve his leaving a delivery on credit with a cash-only account, I checked the record and said no, don’t leave it, since we’ll never get paid for it. On the way back, said driver got the bright idea to pull over to the side of the road and start selling the stuff to passers-by instead of bringing it back to the plant. I don’t know how much he sold before drawing the attention of law enforcement, who, of course, frowned heartily on this particular case of free enterprise. Cost the driver his job, of course, and large fines for the company. But I have always laughed at the image of this big liquor delivery truck at the side of the road with its doors open and people lining up to buy discounted cases of whiskey and rum on the fly.
I had a meat guy come to my door. I declined. Even if he was completely legitimate, I’ll get my food at the grocery store, thanks.
I used to know some of the people who did this. In the Piedmont Triad area (Greensboro, Winston-Salem, and High Point, NC) there are many, many furniture manufacturers- large and small. Thomasville is just south of High Point, and their factory is fairly large. Some people make a living buying castoffs- imperfections and the like- and they load up a truck and use lines like “we loaded too much” and “the delivery was refused” to get full price for inferior merchandise from anyont they approach. They cruise nefghborhoods looking for just the right circumstances, and when they make a sale it’s mostly profit.
I did the meat-out-the-back-of-a-truck job, myself. The business owner buys utility-grade meat form packers in Chicago. he prints up brochures with retail prices for prime-grade beef, found in grocery stores. The truck is deiven by salesmen who “have too much” and have to empty the truck; because of the error the customer is supposedly getting a better price for the meat- but he is actually being overcharged for what anounts to a lesser grade of beef than found in the local store! It works the same for seafood, pork, and poultry- although the chicken is usually prepared in gourmet style to hike up the value (and the price.)
I tried not to lie about anything, but the nature of the job made it necessary- only the big liars got full price and lots of sales. They usually used their daily profits to fuel their nights of drinking and drug use; hungover the following day they hit the road again, broke.
Every day in that job I felt a little of my soul wither away. I’m glad I got out when I did.
Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh meat guy heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh…
You want a new couch – for when you feel sick?
Something to lie on so you don’t crash your car when you feel three feet thick?
You want a new couch – for after you hurt your head?
We have some out on the truck, ones to use as a bed.
You want a new couch – one that resists spills?
One that don’t cost too much, with wood to match your sills?
You want a new couch? We’ll take the old one away.
The one that’s been slept on at night and seen better days.
You want a new couch – one that does what it should?
One for when you feel too bad?
One for when you feel too good?
You can have one right now, without a doubt.
[teenage girl voice]
You are soooooo immature!
[/tgv]