Thespos,
I have it on good authority from a woman who is a pest control worker that the Scarecrowworks great at keeping unwanted critters away. It works even better if you hook up a reservoir (like the kind used for MiracleGro and such) and fill it with vinegar.
Actually, I would. I consider healthy wild animals, as the vast majority of them are, in my backyard to be a bonus, not a problem. (I don’t feed our local raccoons or foxes, but we have plenty of them wandering through, along with the deer, bears, chipmunks, and the skunk who lives somewhere in the woods out back and likes to steal my birdseed from the feeder.) If THespos wanted his property to be wild animal free (and that’s what true feral cats are, no matter what their ancestors might have been), many of which may potentially carry even MORE diseases than the cats, he shouldn’t have moved in across the street from a wildlife preserve. Oddly, the deer (and their ticks) are no respecters of the posted preserve limits.
I have no respect for people who are only interested in nature as a backdrop to a nicely manicured lawn, but don’t even bother to put up a fence to try to keep it out (or just go ahead and live in the city already). My in-laws shoot deer, bears, and squirrels that wander onto their property, but they’re consistent about it, try to keep them out, and eat the bodies, so I have no problem with it. Somehow I doubt THEspos is planning to do the same.
I hope he enjoys the mice, voles, rabbits, woodchucks, raccoons, and foxes who will be taking up residence under his porch, once the cats who are currently keeping the population down are gone.
For the record, I’m not a crazy coot living out in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors to complain. I live in a densely packed suburb in a highly populated county in one of the most densely packed states in the union. No one on my street (or, really, in this section of town) lives more than 20 feet away from their immediate neighbors, or have more than a quarter acre of land. Everyone has the same herds of deer wandering through their yards and down the middle of the street. My cats are indoor-only, and my dogs are never allowed outside off of their leashes or cables, and are never left outside on their own.
Are you prepared for the major jump in the populations of these rodents when you get rid of the cats? Including having them come inside your house? I live in the middle of several acres of fields, and if I didn’t have cats, I think we’d be overrun.
Probably killing said rodents who would otherwise be in your house.
Are these cats already neutered? Does the couple provide vet care? If so to either or both, then these cats are probably a better alternative to the cats who might move in if you remove them, considering that your neighbors may well continue to put out food, attracting new, even less well-tended cats to replace the ones who have, thus far, been defending their territory and keeping the other animals out. Raccoons have been known to take advantage of cat food left outdoors too, and unlike cats with shots, they can carry rabies.
Oh fer crying-out-loud. Grow a pair, get a pellet gun, and shoot the damn things. I live in BFE and am always killing nuisance rodents, including cats. But then again, I’m not your typical, liberal, feel-good, touchy-feely SDMB member, either.
People have become so sissified.
Maybe I’m not up on these any longer, but I’d think a pellet gun is a pretty wussy weapon for cat-killing - I had one as a kid. How many shots does it take to put down a cat? And can the OP get good enough aim to take one down before anyone sees/the cat escapes?
Besides that, you have the “oh the poor widdle kitties” neighbor who will almost surely eventually sees the OP taking potshots at the feral cats, or will be the one who finds the dead/half-dead cat that escapes out of that yard, and calls the cops. I suspect shooting cats, even with a pellet gun, may be legal in BFE but not so much in the OP’s neighborhood; alternately, the neighbor will suddenly claim that those are “her” cats and suddenly the whole neighborhood hears that the OP is a cat-murderering fiend.
Oh, and my credentials: vegetarian (with an omnivorous hunter husband) who lives in a neighborhood where the town “took care” (somehow) of a previous feral cat problem. We now have wildlife closer to what would be more normal for the area, including the occasional fox. Those and hawks are doing good jobs of taking out the neighborhood rabbits, plus squirrels, chipmunks, and other rodents. Meanwhile with a lack of feral cats, a major vector for more diseases common to household pets is gone, and people seem less likely to feed stuff that looks like wildlife than they are feral cats.
We had a fox take temporary shelter under our back porch this winter, and welcomed it. Feral cats? I would have trapped them and sent them to the shelter.
I dont think the OP “gets” the “owners” of the cats point of view.
They are most very likely NOT lawn accessories. They probably like them. They probably “love” them.
If someone “harmed” the OP’s rug rat, how would the OP feel about it ? Word to the wise, the cat owners may very well feel the same way.
I am not saying never do anything, but I’d tread real lightly to start with at the very least.
Or heck, kill em right off the bat and start the neighborhood WW3. Should be good for years of entertaining post right here on the SDMB.
See, stuff like this is what makes me shake my head. How is having a wild fox under your porch somehow better than having a feral or semi-domesticated cat there? Are people under the delusion that foxes don’t carry diseases too? Or that a rabid one wouldn’t be just as likely to attack THEspos’ daughter? Or, :rolleyes: , won’t startle his wife at night? (Watch out for the chipmunks for that, by the way. Those guys move fast and startle the crap out of me at night all the time.)
He’s going to have wildlife in his backyard, just like every other yard. All he’s doing is picking and choosing according to his own prejudices. What he should do is suck it up and put up a fence, and maybe some of those Scarecrow things, if he wants to minimize it.
Really wild animals should be somewhat averse to having you nearby. (The area foxes are only rarely seen and are not at all pleased about people approaching.) If they approach you, that’s a sign to bug out.
Cats - well, you have no idea why they might be approaching you. Is it rabid? Only semi-feral because some human keeps throwing lots of cat food out for them, and they get a little socialization that way? A pet cat that looks awful because it’s been through a lot of trouble during its inadvertent wilderness adventure?
Me, I don’t fear startling from animals, or a potential for rabies. I’ve lived in areas on the edge of wild lands while growing up, where there were lots more critters and potential for whatever they bring.
And I agree, it’s time for a fence (though cats are tough to deal with in that fashion, but it will at least discourage them), and to do everything else to make the yard inhospitable. Fix the lattice, remove cover, put down those crystals and things that smell bad to cats, etc.
Missed the edit window: And sure, foxes carry diseases but I was trying to indicate that animals of the same species as actual neighborhood pets are more likely to be able to transmit more diseases to those pets. For instance, feline distemper, FIV, feline leukemia, etc.
You know what’s sissified? Getting your panties in a huge twist about a couple of cats.
The big question is are these feral cats with a big F or a little f ?
Little f…they have all the shots, are well feed, are fixed, and just don’t quit trust strangers, and barely trust the “owners”.
Big F…damn wild and just happen to be feed sometimes.
As others have noted, if they are big F, it aint that big a deal to make them much closer to the little f end of the spectrum.
If your location didn’t say “Long Island” I’d think you moved next door to my mom.
I’m this close (holds fingers very close together) to loading up about 20 or 25 of them and taking them to the river in a sack with a brick in it.
I know that it’s cruel and illegal and I will not really do it but, damn, that’s how I feel.
Tell that to the big bear tracks that sometime show up when there’s mud in the ten feet between my house and my neighbor’s. 
Holy shit. Project much?
I never said anything about appreciating or having disdain for any other wildlife. I’m complaining about cats and cats only. I like the rest of nature. I don’t mind snakes, turtles, foxes or whatever the heck else decides to roll up on my lawn. You make it sound like I’m some old suburban codger pulling the old “get off my lawn” schtick.
I just don’t like the cats. It’s weird because they were obviously someone’s pets or the descendants of someone’s pets at one point. They’re not naturally occurring and I think they’re a nuisance.
I’m off to see if the neighbors are around.
P.S. - My pellet gun is a break-barrel model that gets more FPS than my .22. It handles varmints nicely. Again, I’m hesitant to just declare war and open fire for reasons I’ve described earlier. I’m looking for a peaceful solution here that ruffles as few feathers as possible.
Bears are a whole different matter. 
And neighbors who intentionally feed those should be run out of town on a rail. I mean lil’ nuisance-type critters, not “omg get in the house/where’s the gun” level.
THespos, please tell us how it goes!
… OK, then I was obviously attributing logic where there was none. You just hate cats? That’s a good reason to kill them? Damn, man, that’s kind of sick. I have even less respect for that then I did when I thought you just wanted a clean lawn.
Put the goddamn scarecrow up and stop whining.
:eek: People do that?
For the record, I’m pro-wildlife, but I’m also anti-small-children-being-eaten-by-roving-hordes-of-bears-while-playing-on-the-street.
Fuck you. Quit putting words in my mouth.
I don’t hate them. I consider them a nuisance. I’ve already posted a kajillion reasons why I consider them a nuisance. You want to think it’s for another reason, go ahead. You’re the one not applying logic.