I’ll add that it did feel a little invasive, but I understand why they asked. They also asked what illegal substances you use. I bet a lot of people lie on those forms.
While he obviously leapt to the wrong conclusion, the main thing I’m seeing is a doctor concerned enough for your health to start a small lecture that he’s probably bored stiff of reciting but sees it as his duty to do. My own doctor, I am sure, would have done nothing but moan about the waste to his invaluable time!
Presumptuous yes; patronising yes; ‘narrowminded fuck’ seems a rather intolerant judgement.
Cool. I just thought I should play it safe and add the disclaimer, knowing how easily some folks here get offended. 
(I’m not referring to anyone in this thread!)
Anyway, thanks for the info. (And thank you too, Esprix.)
I know. I cracked up inwardly at the unintentional implication of her remark. It would have been funnier, though, if she had caught the joke, too. She was such a jackass.
Oh, probably. I just get very tired on being lectured about safe sex and using condoms because I’ve been having the same message shoved down my throat since I was 13.
I GOT THE MESSAGE ALREADY, thank you.
He knew I was gay because it had already come up in conversation to do with something else, so presumes I am having an HIV and HepC test because I’m gay and therefore leading an unhealthy lifestyle. Whereas I am quite the safety boi and haven’t had reason for an HIV test in years. Not until I got stuck at work. In fact, I was bricking it thinking fate would have the last laugh and I’d get infected this way rather than by the more enjoyable method. So the doctor could’ve saved us both a little time and aggravation by not jumping to conclusions about me due to my sexuality. And perhaps by reading my file.
I got the feeling he just meant don’t do things that would neccessitate having to be tested for HIV. To give an extreme example, somebody who was either celebate or having monogomous sex with someone who was having monogomous sex with them would probably be more certain of their HIV status and therefore have less need to be tested than somebody who turned tricks every night.
I know this has already been directly answered, but wanted to add that when we lived in Austin, they had a GLBT phone directory. I’m not sure if it only specifically had those that were GLBT or just GLBT-friendly types, but it was available all over town, especially in more liberal or alternative places.
If we’d lived there long enough, I’d certainly have given some folks in those pages lots of my business. It seemed like a great idea and I can certainly see large metropolisis using these with great success.
Oh, and good on you Potter! It’s one thing to be concerned and another to be presumptious. Always better to ask first before offering unnecessary and unsolicited opinions.
Heh, amusing doctor stories.
Our old family doctor was a great doctor, but a little old fashioned. When I came out to my parents they called him for advice, and he told them, “It’s a phase - he’ll grow out of it.” :rolleyes: Can’t imagine why I never went back to him again…
When I went off to college I looked for a new doctor, and that’s when I called 1-800-DOCTORS. Found one who was close by and considered himself “excellent” with gay patients, and when I went to him the first time and told him why I’d chosen him, he was very agreeable and professional. After that, though, every time I went in I’d see his PA (Physician’s Assistant), who was very smart and cool and fun, and he’d come in to confirm her diagnosis. Of course he forgot all the particulars about me after a few months, evidenced by the one time he came in and joked about “all the ladies” with me - the PA and I just rolled our eyes at each other. 
Now that I’m on the left coast I’m going to look for a queer or queer-friendly doctor. It makes a big difference in my comfort level so that I don’t have to deal with ignoramuses like poor Potter’s doc.
Esprix
I think maybe the OP over-reacted just a little bit. Or maybe reacted for the wrong reasons.
I’m straight and I’ve gotten very similar talks from two different doctors on two different occasions. Both times turned out to be nothing just like I assured them it would before they even checked me out, but I wasn’t offended either time.
Doctors are only human and often seem to have slightly less social skills than the average person. I would bet my last dollar that your doctor had the best intentions, even if he was a bit clumsy in communicating them.
That alone would get me to switch doctors. Does OFD sometimes not bother to read files containing things like severe allergies and the like?
IANAD, or a nurse. But I know that at least some of the information in those files is important. I’m not sure how severe my allergy to erythromycin is. As long as the doctor reads my file, I won’t have to find out.
The doctor’s prejudice aside, I’d report him to the proper authorities. When somebody diagnosing illnesses and prescribing medications gets sloppy, their patients are in real danger.
Re-GLBT Doctors
You’re all forgetting what makes a good doctor. Yes, they must be gentle, patient, able to listen, careful and more. But the most important qualification is that they must be Jewish. ;j
KFL’s fantasy response:“Because lesbians get cervical cancer too, moron. What were you doing the day they talked about oncology in med school? Cruising the park for cute rollerblading girls?”
My moms girlfriend used to have issues with one of her doctors.
Kept trying to tell her she was pregnant. This was 15 years ago or so.
Very high impossibility since she has never and will never be with a man and has no desire to give birth. She was very happy being married to a woman who already had four.
One thing you could have said was:
“Many doctors have no problem comprehending the concept that safe sex practices are not 100% effective.”
Not that that had anything to do with your situation.
What the hell does that doc think condoms are made of? Titanium?
I’m hoping he called later with profuse apologies.
I hate condescending doctors. I haven’t had any of that magnitude, Potter, but I remember when I was first diagnosed with OCD, the first psychiatrist just blew me off and put me on sedatives. Yeah, that helps. Not.
Oh, and I’m glad to hear you’re okay! YAY!!! I hope you and matt plan on celebrating the good news!
Not related to the doctor (though I certainly recognise QGGs scenario), this thing of gay=mad slut bugs me out.
I mentioned something about the film Bound one day, whereupon one of the people I was talking to goes “You mean that one that is practically a porno?!”. I am like eh, no…? It has a sex scene or two yeah, but about as “pornoish” as any other hollywood movie. :rolleyes:
At another point a friend was telling me about how they almost got involved in a threesome at a party the previous weekend, and was then shocked/surprised/confused at the fact that I turned bright red and considered this TMI for me. Her reaction was “But like, you are a lesbian…”. I am not sure what her point was.
I’ll remind my very-Christian doctor to convert next time I see him and he asks me to pray with him;) . Their office is so entirely Christian, it kind of spooks me sometimes (and I’m Christian, just not talkative about my faith for the most part). Luckily, everyone in the office is wonderfully sweet and kind - they are the kind of Christians that I wish were more prominent. And he prescribes me my Xanax for my anxiety and panic attacks. I think I’ll keep him:D.
Actually, Potter, I’m sorry that you had to go through that. The way he treated you was bad enough, but the fact that he didn’t even bother to read your chart would have freaked me out more. Like DocCathode said, how would he have known about any allergies to medication? I would file a complaint with the medical board and switch doctors post-haste.
And I’m glad to hear everything got the all-clear. My best friend just got tested for HIV (he isn’t promiscuous - go figure, another non-slut gay guy;), he just started a new relationship and they wanted to be careful), and luckily, didn’t tell me until after he got the negative results back - I have a hard time with it since losing a friend and my godfather, so I would much prefer to be kept in the dark until there’s a final word, especially when it’s someone that I care about so deeply. Seeing that your tests came back great made me smile. I hope you and matt are out having a great celebratory dinner!
Ava
I always have safe sex, and I have full bloods including HIV and Hep-C at every checkup, and I never get static from the doc about it. He knows I have safe sex (he checks with me at each checkup that I still am). Did I mention he’s gay?
Re. the question: when I got too old to see my pediatrician anymore, I asked him for a referral (he knew I was gay - this was around age 16) and he referred me to a gay GP he knew. A nice fellow, if somewhat brusque on occasion.
Tom, you can see him when you’re living here
love you, sugar. sorry the mean twerp spoiled your day 
** Although the MD in question was being a jerk, his basic point is worthwhile: in general, it’s well worth avoiding situations that might require HIV testing.
The more tests a person has, the more likely they’ll have a positive result, and the more likely they’ll freak about a false positive.
Doctors are notoriously poor at using Bayesian logic with tests – it’s not at all unreasonable to wish to limit overall testing to avoid improper treatment and patient stress.
What does sexual orientation have to do with anything. Guys are sluts. Gay or not gay is irrelevent.
Doc: You’re a guy, right?
Me: Yeppers. Want a beer?
Doc: Not right now. So you’ll pretty much jump anything that’ll let you, right?
Me: What’s your point, Doc?
And so on…
Besides, there’s nothing wrong with cum-dripping manwhores. I like cum-dripping manwhores.