My best friend is one of the sweetest, funniest, greatest guys in the world. He’d give his left leg if he knew someone that needed it. He has an awesome personality, a wonderful sense of humor, he’s adorably cute, and he has determination that’ll lead him to the edge of the Earth and back. He’s also single, although he tries desperately to find the right girl, each attempt leaving him more heartbroken than before. And now, the real shocker (are you ready for this?)…he’s black!!! ::Gasp!!:: While living in the south, he continuously still runs into racial barriers, his most recent being tonight. He met this girl online, he fell for her pretty bad. They had their first date today (a lunch date), and he was happier than I’ve seen him in a long time. He was giggling, for crying out loud! He sent her this sweet little email, saying he had a really good time, and he wanted to see her again. How does she respond? “I can’t see you anymore, my parents don’t allow me to date black boys.” She knew from the beginning of his skin color. She couldn’t have mentioned this before agreeing to meet him? She couldn’t have mentioned this before he got his hopes up, and thought he’d finally found someone worthwhile? This is the 21st century, for Christ’s sake! I myself am white. But I can see him for everything he’s worth, and any girl would be lucky to end up with a guy like Rashad. And now he’s heartbroken once again, leaving me to deal with his shattered self esteem, over things he has absolutely no control over. More than anything, I want to find Lil Miss Jenny Lou, and kick her sorry ass into the ground for hurting him. But more than that even, I want to be able to go to my friend, and tell him that evreything’s going to be alright, and give him a big hug, because I know he needs one. Instead, I’m forced to send him an email saying what trash she is, and how he deserves better. Will he believe me? No. Because the same shit will happen again next week, or next month, or next year even, and he’ll be destroyed once again. And there’s nothing I can do to stop it…
As he so eloquently put it, “i have no idea when my skin color is gonna be done talking for me, but its really pissing me off.”
I can understand that some people aren’t into different races. That’s a matter of opinion. But to let him think he had a chance, and then crush his happiness? Miss Jenny Lou, I’d like to think there’s a special place in Hell for you, and you’ll spend the next eternity being fucked up the ass with a big black dick*. I hope it hurts…a lot.
I mean no disrespect to black guys, guys with big dicks, or anyone who partakes in anal intercourse. If it greatly offends anyone, I will willingly plead for a moderator to remove this line from my rant.
If this girl knew all along the guy was black, then it sounds like she’s just making this excuse up in order to get rid of him because she disliked him for some other reason. In her warped little mind, this probably seems like a way to avoid hurting his feelings.
Yeah, I know, it makes little sense to us sane people, but that’s what it looks like to me. I don’t think the girl’s a racist (if so, she wouldn’t have agreed to meet him, knowing he’s black), I just think she’s a dumb and inconsiderate idiot.
I don’t know, Coldy. When I was living in the South, weird stuff happened all the time. I’m mixed and I had several situations that happened. When I was in high school, I dated a white guy who couldn’t let his parents see us together, but was happy to be with me along as they didn’t see us. Talk about a self-esteem killer for me!
Another time, I had to sneak into a guy’s house because his neighbor was a high dragon (or whatever they call them) for the KKK and he didn’t want his house to get burned down.
There’s this radio station in Pittsburgh called WDVE. Their afternoon DJ, each day, asks a question and airs caller’s answers. Questions are usually something lame like “What annoys you about your boss?”
Well, yesterday’s question was: “What do you think about interacial dating?” My first thought was WTF?! Why would they ask such an inflammatory question?
The answers ranged from: “I have no problem. I like all kinds of women.” to “My daughter is 14, I don’t want her dating anybody no matter what race they are” to “I’m against it.”
Is this an issue? It shouldn’t be. The most conservative statement I could see as being acceptable on this issue is: “I wouldn’t date somebody of another race, and I don’t like it, but it’s none of my business what others do.”
Don’t hate her…feel sorry for her. She probably did really like him and want to be with him, but she’s too weak and cowardly to fight this fight with her parents. She doesn’t have the courage to be the slightest bit different from other people or do something that doesn’t completely conform to what the people she associates with find acceptable. She associates with people who don’t find this acceptable.
She’s pathetic and not worth your (or Rashad’s) energy.
whyn’t you date him yourself? Or, set him up with someone you are pretty sure would be compatible…
Is it possible there are things wrong with him? Is he one to make some bad choice re: women he dates? And, does he wear his heart on his sleeve? If so, both conditions will probably self-correct.
Or, maybe he’s making bad choices for other reasons, maybe he doesn’t want to be with anybody yet, but either doesn’t know it, or doesn’t want anyone else to know it lest they think he’s some kind of not manly enough or something…
Whyn’t you bring him here? Might give him something to do, and take some of the load off your shoulders (and that’s a hard load, any time a friend is hurting) and get it distributed to some number or other of the millions…
jsut fwiw, which, from me, is usually less than the standard .02$
i had the exact same thing happen to me after a date, but the gal’s folks didn’t want her dating a jew (or ‘someone who wasn’t christian’, as she put it). i thought what coldfire said - that it was a brush off and in her apparently feeble mind, this was an acceptable way to let me down easy. and if it wasn’t, then it was probably not a good idea for me to date someone who allows their parents to make stupid decisions for them anyway.
Because he’s in Florida, and I’m in Massachusetts. If we were in the same state, I’d snatch him in a heartbeat
Sure he has things wrong with him. Who doesn’t? For one, after his ex girlfriend dumped him, he went into a frenzied depression and nearly killed himself. Once he got over that, he spent the next 4 months talkin shit about her, and then tried to get back together. Not the smartest move on his part. And as for him not wanting to be withanyone, he’s more determined than anyone I’ve ever met, and I’d be very surprised if that were the case. But if it were, he’d be able to tell at least me, because we have very few secrets between us. Or, so I like to think.
Pammi, you’re a great person. A good friend. It’s a shitty road to hoe, and society is so badly fractured that it isn’t going anywhere, any time soon. My kids are South Korean. My cousins are half-black. In MY family, we don’t play that shit.
My daughter has been trying SO hard to get her favorite friend, Thomas, to come over to play. She’s called and asked almost a dozen times. Always, Mom has a great excuse. Daughter is a tomboy, 9 years old. I’ve told her all along, honey maybe his mom doesn’t want him playing with a girl as a friend. I think that’s terrible, but maybe that’s it. Wife brought up today the idea that it might be because she’s Korean. Fuckin’ A. I don’t look for that, so I don’t see it. Duh, Denial Boy.
It’s so pervasive, Pammi. He sounds like a good enough fellah- I say you two crazy kids each get in yer cars, meet in Maryland, and see if sparks fly
Love isn’t blind, it’s got painfully acute vision. You see a terrific friend, and a kind man. Maybe you will see more?
