Yes, I KNOW I'm lucky to have a job, but . . .

The BBQ Pit
21

Well, at least you don’t have a writing job where the time-sensitive deadlines are such that you sit at your desk pounding it out as fast has humanly possible, 8 to 10 hours a day 5 to 6 days a week, until you get tendonitis in both arms, go to sleep crying from the pain, endure “motivating” speeches from the Marketing Director telling you you’re going to have to “pick up the slack” from the 4 employees that have left and not been replaced, break out in a rash from the stress, and then one day decide no writing job is worth your health, say “fuck it,” move across the country and work on a horse farm.

looks around What?

22

Unbelievably, I kinda miss my days as a NY advertising copywriter in the '80s, when the boss would come tearing into my office and holler, “We need a seven-word headline and a 15-word dek for this ad!” and I would pound one out in five minutes.

It was a challenge.

Now, I just sweep up after the punctuation of girls half my age with one-tenth my abilities and experience.

23

Eve, you have my sympathy. There’s nothing like being obstructed from doing your job well to sour the taste of a paycheck. The only attitude I know of that can meet such institutional indifference is to consider yourself a goddess of small differences, or, if that’s too bombastic, a spy in the enemy’s headquarters. You must work subtly, unobtrusively, to effect changes that are individually minor but are cumulative and lasting. Recognize the overwhelming odds against you and embrace them as a measure of the heroic grace with which you conduct a noble struggle. In your diary, report weekly to your pantheon/spymasters White, Thurber, Benchley, Cuppy and Parker. Report only the joy of your successes: they care not for your defeats, and neither should you. Remember your strengths: why, you’re so far ahead of the fashion curve you blue-pencil in green pencil, dahlink. And you’ve discovered the hot new model dek, the adonis who looks so fabulous in orange sans-serif prints (and I thought I was the only man who could pull that off). Things could be worse – you could be trying to get me published.

Cheer up, dear, even if it is just you and your talent against the world. Sure, the world might win, but for a week it’ll be answering the question, “What the hell happened to you?”

24

Last article I published – nice and clean when I sent out the final version. I get it back? Five typos! All the result of the editor changing my language in ways that I generally agreed with but then failing to reread the sentence to see if it still had a subject and a predicate.

–Cliffy

25

I dunno, Eve, I really think you deserve to have a syndicated column. If a lame-ass like Dave Barry could do it, you’re more than entitled. I guess the only question is who you gotta sleep with for that type of thing.

26

I used to have a column. I used to be big! I am big . . . It’s the magazines that got small . . .

27

Did the headline in question didn’t have anything to do with the obituary of a certain Jerry Scoggins?

That was an utterly perfect obituary thread title. Why, it almost sings. Your employers have no idea what they’ve got. /kiss-up

28

If you’re not above pimping yourself (and most writers aren’t), would you mind emailing me the titles of your books? If I can buy them and support you rather than some conglomerate I will.

29

Me too! Me too! Email me your book titles!

30

If it makes you feel any better, I ordered a copy of Vamp: The Rise and Fall of Theda Bara from Amazon this week. It shipped today, and I look forward to reading it.

31

I gotta say, I’m really a serif kind of guy.

32

Really? With all those o’s?

As for my books, thanks, every little residual check helps. I don’t think I’m allowed to plug my books herein, but if you go on Amazon and look for thr above-mentioned one, it will lead you to the others. (And a few positive reviews wouldn’t come amiss—only if you liked the book, of course!)

By the way, as you can see from everyone else’s plaints, my rant is not so much about “my office,” it’s the same in all magazine publishing . . .

33

This is not a plug. I post merely for informational purposes.

But Vamp is really most excellent, and has been quoted in a number of other books I have. Eve is definitely acknowledged as a valuable resource by other writers, even if her boob of an editor is oblivious to it.

34

“How often we recall, with regret, that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember with charity, that his intentions were good.”

  • Mark Twain, in a letter to Henry Alden, 11/11/1906
35

Hey, at least you’re allowed to copy edit. One of my coworkers writes an online newsletter. Another coworker and I (both also writers) have consistantly volunteered to read it before it goes live, but we are rarely given the opportunity to do so. Inevitably, there are typos. Just today, I found an article where a person’s name was given three times… and spelled three different ways. :rolleyes:

36

Without even looking at the headlines, without knowing her boss or even the title of the magazine, I’ll venture a guess: Apathy.

I deal with the same shit at my job. Quality control has gone to pot. No one cares. My job is primarily layout, but I do some copyediting (usually when stuff gets handed in late and therefore not going to the proofreader) and in any case, the proofreader’s job is to correct mistakes of grammar and structure, he doesn’t say “boo” if the copy is so lousy that a caged canary would clench its butthole rather than shit on it.

I however, also work in PR, know how to write promo copy and structure a press release properly. I DO care when I see shit copy that looks like this (and this was part of an article on “Good Communication in the Workplace”): “While many organizations prepare for technological problems, there are also severe problems with communications when problems arise.”

Lately, utter lameness is being allowed through production. But that’s okay, because if it isn’t clever, you do’t have to think about it. Lame is easy. Not effective in PR and promotion, but hey, at least no one here has to think about it.

You are given the opportunity to take something from “passably lame” to “potentially snazzy”, but that requires Making a Decision. :eek:

Oo, ah, the effort! Oh,no! Have to exercise brain. Make decision - ouch! Tell someone that their “good idea” (ie - lame shit) has been improved and aren’t they lucky, that it’s even better now? Oh, but no, no, that takes time and they may be easly offended when their stuff is changed.

Yup, let’s just stick with boring lameness.

There’s a dolt who, when he gets a revised draft, makes corrections. Not because they need to be made, but because he thinks “Oh, this was given to me, I will make a correction.” But he has only highschool-level writing skills and is dyslexic. So he hands in copy that has a lot of words yet says nothing, and he makes “corrections” that are terribly wrong.

The response to this? The Powers That Be just shrug.

Gah!

Eve, I’ll have to buy you a drik to commiserate.

37

I don’t normally make corrections, but it’s spelt dirk. I’d agree that Eve does needs one for both the editor and Pwincess Pwecious.

38

Nah… really screw 'em over and remove spellcheck from their word processing programs. Far more cruel.

39

Isn’t she cute? :wink:

40

Back when I was an admin, I worked for a guy that continually wrote lousy letters. Not only was his spelling suck-worthy, but he couldn’t put a sentence together to save his life.

Like a good little admin, I made corrections that were absolutely necessary to prevent him from looking like a blithering idiot to the customer.

He sent it back to me with this note (I shit you not):

“Put it back the way it was.” I would rather be consistently wrong than right only once in a while."

Fucker made a ton of money, too. Salesmen don’t have to be literate.