Two weeks ago I woke up with my neck, back and right shoulder fused into one big mass of pain. When it didn’t go away over the weekend, I saw my doctor, and he gave me some muscle relaxants and cleared up the neck and back thing, for the most part. The right shoulder, however, did not respond to any of the treatments. Even with the horse tranquilizer dosage of Advil and the muscle relaxants, I was in constant pain, with occasional extra bonus waves of nauseating pain that went through my body whenever I tried to use my right arm.
My doctor decided that what I needed was an MRI. My first trip didn’t work out, because I have been unable to lie down since the injury. I’ve been sleeping sitting up, and I assumed that they would be able to accommodate me somehow. I was wrong about that. I tried lying flat, and they even tried using pillows to minimize the strain, but I couldn’t stay flat.
For my second trip, my doctor had written me a prescription for Vicodin, the idea being that if I get a gram of that in me, they can put me in any shape they want. He also specifically asked me, “There’s no other reason why you can’t have the MRI, is there?” Of course not, I said. I’m on the table, they push a button and I go into the tube, microwave on high for 20 minutes. No problem.
Well yesterday I discovered that there was a problem. I took my Vicodon, and high as a kite laid down on the table. As it began to move into the machine, or as I like to call it, “the airless tomb,” I found another reason why I couldn’t have the MRI. My breathing became rapid and shallow, my heart started pounding, and in about 10 seconds, I’d secreted enough sweat to pool in my eyes and ears. I put out my hands and pushed off against the sides. Turns out that makes the table not move in any direction. So I slid on my back past the plastic sphincter, and off the side of the machine onto the floor. Then I stood up and told the operator, “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this.” I have never suffered from claustrophobia, and never had any problem with small, enclosed spaces. In fact, when I was a kid, we used to build underground forts, which required crawling through narrower, longer tubes than the one I was in, and with a greater possibility of collapse.
No, I am just a great big pussy, and I had to ask them to make an appointment for the Open MRI (the one I’d scoffed at when I made this appointment. Forty-five minutes? I don’t think so), which is available in the evenings only on Tuesdays. The final humiliation: my ride home was my ex-wife, who tried to tell me it was all right Nothing eases humiliation like a little condescension. And I will still be required to lie flat, so I have relate my scarlet failure to my doctor to get more Vicodin.
Don’t be embarassed. Lots of people can’t take the MRI.
I’ve even heard of people who’ve done regular MRIs in the past, who suddenly just cannot handle it one day, and have to do an open one.
You’ll get no argument here. If you were looking for compassion, we only do that on Thursdays.
Speaking for myself, I wish I could get scheduled for an MRI. I could use the nap.
That’s what I was thinking. My main concern was that I wouldn’t fall asleep and roll over or something. The panic response came out of nowhere.
Must have been the vicodin then. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
I had one, but I was on straight morphine. Nice nap, except for the headache. (The headache was the reason for MRI. I had a brain bleed. :eek I’m ok now.) Just think! It’s much better than a barium enema!
A friend of mine did it that way. She took a double fistful of Valium and jsut let it happen. I think I could handle the Barium enema, just as long as it’s not administered in an MRI machine.
:: snerk:: That made me laugh.
Saoirse - no you fool - you are NOT a big pussy because, you see, if you were, there would be no problem. Cats just love to sneak into insanely silly squashed places, don’t they? Humans, not so much.
Anyway, a user name like yours would rather tend to imply a wish for more freedom than having to lie down in a big tube.
The whole thing sounds terrible - mega pain plus panic? Hell, I hope they can get you repaired somehow. Roll on Tuesday!
Perhaps try some catnip?
(Joke: IANAD or a vet or even a person any good at posting sympathetic replies)