Yogi Beraisms

I remember hearing a Yogiism.

He was sitting in a pool and some woman said he looked cool.

Yogi replied " You dont look too hot yourself"

Another favorite Yogi-ism:

Yogi appeared on a pre-game show with Cardinals announcer Jack Buck. After the show, Buck presented him with the standard $25 check for radio appearances made out “Payable to Bearer.”

Berra said to Buck, “Hey, Jack. How many years have we known each other?”

Buck replied, “Oh, about 10 or 12 years. Why?”

“You’ve known me all that time and you still can’t spell my name?”

His son told the story that he and Yogi were watching a movie one night, and Steve McQueen appeared on screen. “Huh,” said Yogi. “He must’ve made that movie before he died.”

The closest thing to a Yogiism I ever coined was when someone in college said my real name made me sound important. I replied, “Yes, I’m the first of a distinguished line.”

It’s always easier to lead from the rear.

Half of doing anything right is 50% mental.

SSG Schwartz

This one is quite rational and quite true:

A friend of mine, exasperated by my refusal to be swayed by her wisdom, once exclaimed “It’s like throwing pearls at a sow!”

I figure she mangled ‘throwing pearls before swine’ and ‘try to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear’ together. But I loved it.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.

A true Yogism is always true; when you see through the literal nonsense and tautology, you realize the subtle, almost Zen truth of it.

Yes, but the one I cited made sense; it was something a non-Yogi Bera person might have said.

Not exactly a Yogism, but I’ve got a similar one: “That [makes no sense/sounds cool/etc] no matter how many times you slice it.”

For a better Yogism: “I’ll be gone until I get back.”

The one about, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it,” is the last step in directions to Berra’s house. He lives on a loop road, so it makes perfect sense. Either way you go, you’ll get to Yogi’s place.

Yes, Yogi has often mangled the English language, and has said some memorable funny things.

Just don’t forget, despite his 6th grade education, Yogi Berra is a VERY rich man. He was shrewd enough to go toe-to-toe with Yankees GM George Weiss numerous times, and always came out on top in salary negotiations. Not many other players ever did.

He made a lot of smart investments, and parlayed his baseball salary into a fortune. He also asked for stock options, whenever he did commercial endorsements. Whenever people bought a Yoo-Hoo, they were putting money in Yogi’s pocket.

Folks, we should ALL be as stupid as Yogi Berra!

Well, he is smarter than the average ball player.

Not original, but WTH:

When your boss gives you conflicting orders, follow all of them.

‘It takes a big dog to live in a big house.’ – Mr. Mike’s Mondo Video