I do figure everyone’s attacking her for fun – after all, this is MPSIMS – but it seemed a little harsh, and, dare I say it, got envy, anyone?
I didn’t think she seemed snooty or rich – she’s a social worker, for goodness sake – not exactly the snootiest of professions, and last I checked they make about $12,000/year. (So she had $950 to spend on a wedding dress, so what. That doesn’t make her snooty, or even necessarily rich.)
Also, quoting from the article, “When you think of all the troubles in the world, this is nothing, absolutely nothing,” said Swenson, a social worker who counsels troubled youths and families in Chippewa County.
Seems to me that we could just take her at face value and appreciate that she’s saying that she knows in the scheme of things it’s not important, but it still has sentimental value to her – what’s wrong with that? I have known much snootier, less-worldly-aware people who indeed would never consider the fact that their lost wedding dress were a tragedy of anything less than global proportions. So, anyway, it still seems like junior high to me, and
I fail to see how this:
separates the “we” from 90% of the meanies in junior high…
Anyhoo, this whole issue is itself not one of global proportions (not that you could tell from the time I’ve spent posting about it), or anything, but I usually think of Dopers as NOT overly judgmental about things like physical appearance (but maybe this only works in your favor if you’re not attractive), and it seemed uncharacteristic…I’m sticking up for her.
OK, I just re-read my post (preview is for quick typo check, not rational thought) and I think I came on a little strong. Madame Reporter, strike the “got envy, anyone?” line from the record, please.
First, I just think it is absurd to spend a grand on a dress to be worn one time. Especially if you are only making 12,000 a year. I make over 3 times that and I wouldn’t dream of spending my hard earned money so frivolously.
Second, why was it necessary for her to say that it was an altered size 8 if she was not bragging about how thin she is. I never feel the need to tell anyone “well this dress is an 18 but I had to have it taken in a bit so it would have to fit a pretty petite size 18.”
Third, that reclining on the altar pose is just bizzare. I have been to many weddings, and have seen hundreds of wedding pics but I have never seen a bride reclining on the altar. Never.
And lastly from what I remember of junior high–it was a few years ago–no one was ever brave enough to just come right out and say they didn’t like you. This was conveyed by a series of covert actions consisting of rumor startings, note passings, and general bitchiness aimed in your general direction. You always heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend that so and so said…
The pose she was in was probably the idea of the photographer. They put them in so many poses, taking lots of pictures. The more the person has to choose from, the more they may buy.
I can understand why she would want it back. But she is already married and it was their mistake to give it away. if it meant so much, why was it in the car? I am very happy for the lady who found it at goodwill and was perhaps able to be married in it as well.
what good does it do to keep it a closet, when someone else perhaps someone who doesn’t have a thousand $$ to spend on a dress they are only going to wear ONE time, can have the joy of wearing a beautiful dress. and i thought it was snippy the way she said it is a size 8 that has been taken in an donly some other pretty petite lady can wear it.
besides, what if she never has a daughter to even wear the dress? and what if it didn’t fit the daughter? or if she didn’t like teh style by the time she gets married? I say, live in the now and let others enjoy it. and does she have a chair under that dress good god… and maybe she should stay away from the tanning bed for awhile…
I thought she mentioned that it was an altered size 8 to help identify the dress. If I had lost something that meant so much to me, I would try to give every little detail about it, including what size it was, and whether it had been altered.
She bought an expensive dress for a day that obviously meant a lot to her. Through some bizarre chain of events, the dress ended up at Goodwill and now she wants it back. I can’t really see what the problem is here.
I don’t have a wedding dress. If I ever have one, I would want to keep it. If I lost it, I would want it back. To me, marriage is something sacred. Hopefully, I’ll only have one wedding and stay married for the rest of my life and be happy. A wedding dress is not just a dress to me. It’s a symbol and a reminder of a woman’s hopes for her future on her wedding day. A reminder of what was hopefully one of the happiest days of her and her husbands lives.
It’s also something extraordinarily important to her daughter, if she has one. At least it was to me. My mother’s wedding dress filled some of my best daydreams when I was a little girl. I imagined my wedding day when I would wear that very same dress. Unfortunately, my mother was a much smaller woman then than I am now. But it’s still magical for me. It’s a symbol of the more than 20 years my parents have spent together in love. It transports me to their wedding day and the smiles that must’ve been on their faces.
Sure it’s just a dress but when I look at it, it brings back so many memories and I know it must bring back even more for my mother.
Maybe this is a lot of sentimental drivel. Ignore it if you please. I just don’t think the woman should be criticized for wanting her dress back.
PS I don’t think she should be blamed right off hand for her pose in the picture either. Maybe it was her idea. Maybe it wasn’t. She could have just had an idiot for a wedding photographer. Maybe after paying for the dress, she had to cut back the budget on other things.
