You aquire the abilty to pause time for all but yourself. How do you use it?

To clarify (as if I need to): At any ‘time’ you can press a button which will cause the entire universe to stop, except for your own movement. You don’t age while the universe is stopped but you can move about, and anything you react with will posesses narativum. For instance you could use a computer or watch a tv or eat food and the results would be gained information or satisfied hunger.
My initial idea is this… I would pause time as soon as I left work. When I get home I would get sufficiently drunk. Then I would unpause time and go to sleep. By the time I have to get up I will have had at least twelve hours since drinking and will be perfectly fine for another day’s work

When it got crazy at work I’d pause time, get caught up, then unfreeze it.

You know this was a plot for a Dean Koontz novel, right?

ding ding

Last orders at the bar…

Haven’t you got threads to go and write?


It was also the plot for The Fermata by Nicholson Baker.

GorillaMan… Gorilla Begins with a ‘G’. Can I call you ‘G-Man’. It seems familliar somehow.
I drink. Many dopers do. I make threads when I drink. I seem to manage to do so without getting slapped on the wrist. So I don’t desist.
On an utterly irrelevant note: Are you into Discworld? I am curious because you seem to post in many of my threads (british comradeship I suspect) and I enjoy your posts, so I naturally wonder if you share this interest.

I’m pissed as a fart. I drank whisky in front of my computer. I’m sad. And yes, if you really can’t cope with seven letters, ‘G’ will do :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m not a Discworld fan…I find the concepts, the scenarios etc. very funny when they’re described to me, but it’s the actual writing that lets him down. IMO.

And…Don’t stop making drunk threads, for goodness sake! It’s great fun!!!

Art? Think of the movies you could make…

I would freeze time every Friday evening and drive the fourteen hours to see my boyfriend, so that I could actually spend the whole weekend with him. Monday morning I’d freeze it again, drive back, and get as much sleep as I needed before heading in to work.

I’m sure I’d find some other interesting things to do, but that was the first thought that hit me.

And it goes without saying there’s a Twilight Zone Episode to that effect.

It immediately occurred to me how great this ability would be for arguing. Think about it - any point someone makes, you can freeze time, do research, get a background on the person/topic/whatever, form your words eloquently and succinctly, and as necessary, inject witty comebacks with dazzling furor.

How many times have you ever thought back to a conversation, thinking “I wish I had said…?”

You people would still be working???!!!

Come on, think bigger!

You could steal all the money you could ever need without ever getting caught! Or, if you have some “thing” about honesty, you could come up with all kinds of ways to easily make money with your talent. Instant package delivery springs to mind, for instance.

Me? Locker rooms! Come on, all you straight men out there are thinking it.

I read a story once about a couple who had a big bed that would do this. Whenever they were both in bed, time would stop for everyone else. So they would bring food, books, games etc. into bed, and only get out to use the bathroom. They would have a whole long vacation in one evening. But they had to spend the whole time together…
But for me, stealing was the first thing I thought of. Good for assasinations, jailbreaks, and other political maneuvers as well.

Not to mention a Simpsons episode. Part of one of the Treehouse of Horror Halloween Specials, I think. Bart and Milhous get a watch that can stop time, and mischief ensues. Then the watch breaks, and they have to spend the next 40 years or so, subjective, learning Watch Repair For Dummies. Then they set up Ooter as the patsy, and restart Time.

They liked it so much, they did it again in 1985.

Those who I don’t like could find wierd things happening to them, like their pants dropping mysteriously during social functions, or stuff in their personal files being made available to the public, or hidden camera photos appearing on the internet. Of course, all anoymously.

Oh, what interesting things I could discover about the world.

“Dr. Dobson, what are you doing to that man? I thought you always said that sort of thing was sinful…”

Not to mention becoming skilled in many, many things. Never paying for anything again. Ace every test you ever take…

Well*** I ***recognized Susan StoHelit’s talent in the OP, at least.

But yeah, I’d never miss a deadline at work again. That would relieve a lot of pressure in my life so I could go enjoy getting drunk without having to stop time to do so. I’m too honest to use it for a life a crime.

Oh fun fun. Definitely I’d use my power to miraculously appear before the President’s eyes, (arrayed in a celestial rented white robe, bathed in the aura of divine floodlights, heavenly choir music playing), and urge him to nominate uglybeech to the supreme court. Or maybe turn over the presidency to Barney Frank.

I think it w might just fall for it. You think?

Or I might just steal more money than God.

Too many possibilities. I’d start by making my mornings a bit easier. Go for a quick skate. Eat a very peaceful breakfast. Just sort of enjoy the extra time.

It’d be handy for cooking dinner as well. Come to think of it, I could kick much booty on Iron Chef.

Heck, I could skate to work. Get myself in better shape and save on gas.

Of course, the usual theft and locker room pervery as well. I’m only human (for now <dramatic music sting + lightning>).

Hey, I happen to like my job.

Although…come to think of it, freezing time would keep me from having to deal with other people while I did it.

It would also be a really great ability for when you’ve got a book you want to keep reading.