You are driving down a country road

You are driving down a country road, out in the middle of nowhere. You have an important appointment, and a long way to drive. You need a drink, so you pull into the only building you have seen in twenty miles, a gas station/ general store / five and dime that has see much better days, if the faded 1976 “Celebrate the Bicentenial” banner is any indication. You walk in to a dim and dusty interior, crowded with all sorts of junk, and reach into the cooler to pull out a can of… OK soda? You try again and get …OrBitz? Confused, you look around. As your eyes adjust to the gloom, you see a lawn darts game with the original steel tips. The rack next to the cash register holds Star Wars Cards and first edition Magic the Gathering Cards. A copy of Time magazine on the top of a pile is from 1963.

You have a few minutes to spare. What do you look for?

The door – lest Cletus the mutant cannibal chases me down and turns me into an appetizer.

Comic books and baseball cards. Early retirement, here I come.

A phone.

Call the FBI to tell them why JFK should not visit Dallas in an open motorcade in November, tipping them off about Lee Harvey Oswalds intentions.

As many Wacky Packs as they have. And Kung Fu packs.

The gum couldn’t have gotten any worse, right?

Just to clarify, the idea is that the place is so remote and backwards that the place is a time capsule, not that you have gone back in time.

I think the date is now, but the store contains old stuff. I think.

I have no idea.

Yes, you can write their number down on the Magic the Gathering cards, first released 30 years after the assassination.

I’d probably look at most everything to see if there’s something quirky that might be for sale. I love the shows where they dig through old barns or farms, abandoned warehouses, whatever trying to find something salvageable. Last time I found a place like that I made an offer on the lady’s car, an old and very low mile GTO.

Baseball cards. Specifically, Pete Rose rookie card

I’m feeling less sanguine about the soda. On the evidence, stock here turns over kinda slowly.

A phone, so I can call the police and inform them about the mob front I’ve just stumbled into.

Yeah, baseball cards and quarters.

I’d call my friend and see what vintage soda bottles he needed for his collection. I’d probably also play the old black and white arcade games they probably have in the corner.

A water fountain and thermos or some form of traveling container?

The bodies.

Acrylic blankets with satin binding. Not sure that’s the kind of thing they’d have in this store, but if they do, I’d buy up all they have and then make a killing selling them to people in that thread.

VW parts, still in the box.

All the candy and cookies I used to love and can’t find any more. And space food sticks. Definitely space food sticks.

I’d still just want a decent soda.

I’m having them Jarts!