I wouldn’t, as I’m simply not capable of doing the job.
Yeah, it takes a very flexible person to be able to stick their head into their own ass. 
Hell. No.
I mean, HELL no.
Would I run? Without hesitation.
Maybe…
Disliking both major political parties, I’d never get anything done due to everyone being against me.
I’d probably be the only thing that could unite the Republicans and the Democrats, they’d team up to get me out of office. 
Ladies and gentlemen, President Dinsdale Piranha…
…guaranteed to win, you say?
…would that be public knowledge or would it be just made to look like Mad Campainx0rz Skillz to the third-party observer?
'cause just to see their faces when someone wins who has run the entire campaign making the kinds of promises I’d make, and ticking off the interest groups I’d tick off, that would be something.
It’d also be worth it to see everyone’s faces when the President Elect does the Funky Duckman at his Inauguration, and the first State Of The Union address begins with “I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! I need TP for my Bunghole!” and concludes an hour and a half later with “… and the streets shall flow with the blood of the unbelievers! MEIN FUHRER, I CAN WALK!”, complete with Nazi Salute.
Yeah, it’s probably a good thing I don’t get to run countries in the real world…
a) I officially call Florida, b) stop uttering heresy, you blasphemer, c) …wŏ de mā hé tā de fēngkuáng de wàisheng dōu.
If I were offered the job of Prime Minister? Nah, wouldn’t take it.
Is that you Eric Cartman?
No, just someone with undiagnosed low-grade Megalomania and far too much spare time on his hands…
My answer: Hell, yes!!!
For a political junkie like me, that’d practically be nirvana. I’m under no illusions as to how hard the job would be, and how totally my life would change (not entirely for the better), but the chance to serve my country, to set the national agenda, to push for policies I favor, and to make my mark in history would be just… amazing.
The cool stuff: living in the White House and riding on Air Force One, sure, but also schmoozing with Congress, diplomacy with foreign leaders, and making patronage decisions (I think I already know who my SecDef, SecState and AG will be - and rest assured, Dopers will receive preferential treatment for Federal appointments!). I think I might even like budgeting, God help me - giving money to worthy programs, and cutting funds for bad ones, might be fun. Bill Clinton once said one of the best parts of the job was inviting his favorite authors for lunch - you better believe I’d do that, too.
The bad stuff: living with the weight of life-or-death decisions, the omnipresent Secret Service, the difficulty of adjusting to life in a fishbowl, endless sniping from critics and the press, confronting the limits even of the Presidency’s powers (Truman said most of the job was convincing people to do what they should be doing anyway).
But you know what? I’m willing to give it a try.
And for those Dopers who know they’d hate the job, or think they’re not up to it, a suggestion: think of who you would like to see as President. Choose him or her as a running mate. Win the election (hey, the OP says it’s guaranteed!), then resign.
My answer: Hell no!!! [shudder] [shudder] [shudder]
When I was a little girl, I was disappointed and angry to learn that I could never become president because only native-born citizens were eligible for the job (I was born in England). Now, I’m grateful!
If the elect Polycarp campaign ever goes through, though, I’ll take a cabinet position.
CJ
Nope.
The great paradox of power - almost anyone who wants that amount of responsibility and bother has some personaility issues that ill suits them for having that sort of power.
I suppose I could always appoint someone as vice-president who I knew would do well (assuming they’d take the job), and just get myself tragically killed somehow…
We don’t have any of Cincinnatus’ DNA left by any chance, do we?
Or to put it more succintly, the people who want the job are the people who shouldn’t be allowed to have it 
It’s worse than you think. He’d use… sarcasm. :eek:
I’d take the job. First on the agenda would be a formal apology to Britain for the unjust, illegal and unrepresentative Revolution, and two hundred years’ worth of back taxes to be funded by some slightly more realistic duty on gasoline.
:dubious: Sorry, you’re not eligible. US Citizenship is the deal breaker.
Beside the revolution worked out well for Britain. It left America much stronger to help you out in those German wars of last century and gave us a chance to really get to know the French and dislike them as much as the Brits do.
However the Gas tax sounds reasonable. I would apply a sliding scale.
For non-commerical cars and trucks, If your car gets over 40mpg keep current tax rate. For 21-40 slight increase in Tax. If under 20mpg double the gas tax. This will cut down a little on SUV’s used to commute and at least get a lot more money for alternate fuel R&D. Hopefully it would cause more demand for Hybrid cars.
Jim
A somewhat creative interpretation of the word “guaranteed” as in the OP, but I’ll step down gracefully.
(Besides, if the States had still been a loyal colony, instead of an isolationist nation state, the Germans might have been less willing to pick fights in the first place. But this is the wrong thread for this debate. As well as the one about disliking the French. We have reason to, but you might show them a little gratitude.)
The gratitude would be to the French Monarchy and Aristocrats that the French people tossed out and killed to setup Napoleon taking power. Since then all bets are off. But you are correct, wrong forum. At least the US eventually got around to helping the UK. We might be slow but we did show up in large numbers eventually. I would think the two former enemies US & UK are the best friends that countries could ever be. Two great peoples divided by a common language to butcher Churchhill’s quote.