Oh, the change in Zombie Thread rules. Okay, I got an automatic response and so back I come to this thread.
She is still in the state she was in when I wrote the O.P. Her medical benefits are just about gone, aside from Medicaid. This means she will lose her home to pay for 24 hour health aides by her side.
Her quality of life has not improved in any way.
I’d say, kill me when it happens because throwing the dice and hoping that technology or theology save me is a mighty long shot.
In the biggest way possible, I’d add Y M M V to the above sentiment.
I used to work with patients with spinal cord injuries, and very few wanted to die. I bet if you had asked them before their injuries if they would have wanted to die if they had become injured, most would have said yes. The will to live is much stronger than most people think.
While there is absolutely not one single advantage to being in this new condition than to before, she is fortunate enough to be alive in a time when the paralyzed can do more than they ever have before. I’ve known students who were in wheelchairs that were operated by breathing into a straw but they were able to attend college, take notes (I’m not sure what this technology is but it exists), surf the net and other quite normal things and still managed to get some joy and accomplishment out of life.
I doubt I’d rather die, at least not at first. Certainly I’d hope and pray that at least partial recovery would be possible, but generally I think- one day at a time.
I have a cousin who met her husband after he became a quad. They married and had a long, (mostly) happy life together.
If I suffered such an accident I know my family would do whatever they could to take care of me. I’d probably wind up living on the first floor of my sister’s house in Buffalo, but there are lots worse places to be.
I could still read, still watch movies, still talk to people, still cruise the internet (as a couple of quad Dopers demonstrate). I wouldn’t be happy about being paralyzed, but I think I could find something meaningful in life, and if I’m cared for I wouldn’t want to die.
That said - I try to avoid even minor accidents, much less disabling ones.
I’ve occasionally talked about this before, but I may as well elaborate.
I’m severely disabled, effectively making me a quadriplegic. I can’t breathe without a ventilator, either.
Being disabled can be hard at times, to say the least. But the hand you’re dealt in life is not what’s important, but how you choose to play your cards.
I’ve had so-called “experts” tell me such things as “University is not an option–you need to realise your limitations.” Well, I’ve got a degree in computer science and I’m now discussing the possibility of moving into astroinformatics research. And that degree I got while having a brain haemorrhage part way through!
I go to movies and concerts and have dinner with friends; I get drunk (and I’d get stoned if I felt like it) and if someone says I shouldn’t be watching Jerry Springer, they’ll soon know what’s what.
I’m not sitting at home all day watching The Bold and the Beautiful while eating stewed prunes. You can live a rich, full life without being able to walk. Not being able to think is a bigger disability, but then again, Paris Hilton still seems to survive, so what do I know?
I surely meant no insult to the way you, or anyone else in your position, is living your life by writing that O.P. several years ago.
From the outside ( as is always the case in life… ) I cannot imagine the transition. I whistled by it once in my life, when I fell and broke my back. Had the vertibrae fractured at a slightly different angle, I’d be paralyzed from the waist down.
Hey, I’m not angry or upset. And besides, this is a zombie thread.
But I thought it important that someone “on the inside” give an account of how positive life can be, no matter your physical condition. And were you, or anyone else, put in this position, I think suicidal thoughts would be likely. But that’s because of society’s myths about what living with a disability entails, and it’s why these myths need to be dispelled.
I’ve seen too many disabled people believe those myths, and they end up living them out. But if you don’t listen to those myths, anything is possible.
I don’t know where you are located at, but if I am ever in your neck of the woods, I would be happy to meet up for many, many rounds of drinks, all on me…
I’ll add that the real problem, as touched upon in the update, is the U.S. health system. Not to get too political, but my attitude wouldn’t be great, either, if I had to sell my home to get proper care.
Given that I don’t believe in any sort of deity or afterlife, I would be willing to put up with anything short of painful physical torture to continue existing. Like the stuff in Hostel or Saw, would make me want to die. Quadriplegia, not so much. I mean, if I can talk and use a keyboard to type with my mouth or eyes, I’ve still got people, message boards, and maybe World of Warcraft to keep me going.
I’m another one saying I would adapt and go on living. I’ve known quite a few disabled people (OK, none as severely disabled as this, but I’m extrapolating) and their lives don’t suck. They’re nowhere near as miserable as some people seem to think they should be - they’re good people with friends, family, fulfilling lives and some extra challenges to cope with. I don’t need physical activity to be happy. I could still read, write (by which I mean type), go to uni, talk to friends and family and probably continue to pursue a career in psychology if I were paralysed. And yeah, it’d be hard, but I certainly don’t think I’d consider my life any less worth living.
You sound like a great guy, Lobot, and you stand as proof that my optimism isn’t unfounded. Cheers.
It seems to me to be rather offensive and tasteless for a completely healthy person to announce they would rather die than be in a state that a good number of people are actually in.
People handle personal tragedy all the time. They usually don’t want their lives to end because there are other people around still willing to treat them with dignity and provide assistance. I can’t imagine hearing people say “if I were in your shoes, I would definitely end it” helps, especially when they have no idea at all what it’s actually like to be in their shoes.
What a sad story. But still, if it were me, I would want to go on. If Stephen Hawking can go on, so could I. I am a mathematician and most of what I do goes on between my ears. As long as that is intact, I could go on, although I might need an amanuensis. I would hope that technology might have advanced to the point that I could even dictate and have it appear on the screen.
Not everyone has this out, of course, and I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t. Also, since my pension would still come rolling in, I would have few money worries. Up here in in the frozen north, my medical care would be assured.
