My first reaction when I see kids of this ilk is to shake my head and snicker. The whole big-bad-wannabe act cracks me up.
I expect fewer of them would dress like this if the girls they were trying to impress would just laugh at them for the fools that they are.
He wasn’t a BALLA like the ICY HOT STUNTAZ!!!
These home boys are keepin’ it real in the streets of Bumfuck Georgia.
I was at my local deli when some pre-teen jackanapes, complete with backwards baseball cap and falling-down pants, after giving the clerk a hard time, actually said, “word up, dawg!”
I gave him my best Margaret Dumont glaring-through-a-lorgnette look and said, “Oh, really—no one’s said, ‘word up, dawg’ since 1998!”
The question that occurs to me is, “Why did anyone ever say it at all?”
I’ve never seen anyone without a 'fro leave a comb in their hair, but I think it’s silly to do so even if you do. So you have good hygiene, that’s great, but why leave the comb in? Reminds me of the fool from Scary Movie…
Yesterday I came back from the store, and there was this ghetto-imitation young black kid (maybe 17) sitting on my bikes carrier, talking “cool” to his friends on the bench opposite.
I briskly and friendly touched his arm and said, while unlocking my bike: “if you stay perched, you can come home with me”. He blushed and started fumbling. It was only then that I saw how young and innocent he really was.
Ah: the advantages of being a woman…
Reminds me of my brother when he was about 16. He really wanted to be tough. His hair was recovering from a head shaving, so it was about half an inch long, and for some reason he decided that it would be a good time to shave it into a mohawk (this was back in the day, understand). So he did. The result?
Somehow, the shortness of his hair and the chubbiness of his cheeks elicited a strange reaction in people. He would go into the video store and put on his best tough-guy snarl, and the lady behind the counter would say, “I love your haircut! That is so cute!” It happened in stores, at school, etc. Everyone raved about how adorable he looked with his hair like that.
Naturally, he grew it out as fast as he could. He still hates me for reminding him about it. 
It’s this crazy hippity-hop music these kids are listening to, I tell you.
Beat me to it. As amusing as it would be to chuck one of these little boys through a plate-glass window, suppose he’s packing and thinking how he could make a name for himself by offing some hater?
Knowed Out, anyone else…
I think this is a ripoff of a REAL webpage. At one time, I remember 3 whiteboys just like this on a webpage, but it was VERY serious, not like this.
Just wondering if anyone else saw it…
Sam
Hey Happy Scrappy: I really liked the subtle homage to “Raising Arizona” in your OP. This is one great rant.
I go to school with a kid who dresses like that. He doesn’t pretend to be a tough guy, though. He’s pretty cool.
As for the “halfway pantsed” look, I find it hilarious that guys wear boxers, shorts, pants, wifebeater, shirt, and a sweatshirt over it all. It’s layering taken to an extreme.
This is hilarious! I can’t say I want to throw idiots like this through a window or anything dramatic like that, but I would like to see them interact with the locals in a real ghetto for a few moments. I’m thinking it would provide them with a ‘learning opportunity’ of the highest order.
I come from a particularly hairless family.
In junior high my brother desperatly wanted to look “tough” and thought having a mono-brow was the way to do it. (Don’t ask me, I don’t know. I’m praying that it’s not genetic.)
He used to comb his brows together every day trying to get them to grow that way.
I don’t dis any teens their afectations, regardless of how absurd. I was there once.
Come back, Herb Kornfeld – all is forgiven.
Judging people by what they wear.
How elementary school.
I saw two 12-ish boys walking down the street with the saggy-assed pants and the whole “urban tough” look, complete with strut. Just as I was getting ready to pass them by, a little dog (schnauzer or something similar) came tearing out of the yard they were pasing. They looked absolutely hilarious with their pants wadded and gathered up in their hands as they tore off down the street, tiny pursuer nipping at their heels! Every time I see some idiot wearing his pants like that I get a heck of a chuckle.
7 up yours, you’ve GOT to be kidding. It’s not just what the kid was wearing; it’s the painfully obvious falsehood of the message the punk is trying to send. Not to mention that the kid apparently thinks everyone buys it.
I.e., the kid isn’t just wearing funny clothes; he’s clearly trying to make a statement with the clothes.
Sheesh. Not judging people by what they wear. How elementary school.
Moooooooom! Happy Scrappy Hero Pup’s starin’ at meeee! Make him stooooop!
'scuse me, I need some of my ignorance fought, here.
What’s a wifebeater? I mean, if it weren’t obvious you were talking about clothing, I’d have to start wondering why this kid is carrying an abusive adult around with him.
I’m not judging anybody by what they wear.
I’m judging him by the manner in which he chooses to wear it. If you saw a CEO with a suit that was five sizes too big, you’d laugh at him; you wouldn’t run to the big-and-tall store for one of your own.
I’m laughing at the idiot who buys into cartoonish culture that he’s been sold. I’m laughing at the sheer audacity of some tiny little wannabe ne’er-do-well that believes that wearing a six-man tent on his body and a nylon on his head turns him into Ghetto Superman. I’m laughing at his ignorance, “fronting” on me, or “stepping to me” or whatever the murdered-English-phrase du jour is for acting aggressively because he thinks that his ever-so-fly replica jersey makes him bad. It doesn’t. It makes him ridiculous. The sad part is that he will stutter-step up to me, completely confident in the fact that he is the superflyest motherfucker on the planet, and he’ll believe it wholeheartedly right up until he chokes on his own teeth.
Those kids are not from the “'hood.” I lived there. I worked my ass off to get out of there. The last thing I would EVER do is pretend that I was back there. So when Captain Meanstreets comes rolling in my direction like I have to get out of HIS way because he’s too tough to wear clothes that fit, I’m gonna laugh at him.
I’m judging him by his ACTIONS. The clothes, however, are a pretty decent indicator. And if it makes you feel better, 7, just think about it this way. Kriss Kross over there is judging me by my clothes. He sees t-shirt and jeans and thinks, “Yoyoyo I be cooler dan dis mothafucka. I’s gonna walk up on his ass and intizzimidate his ass” or somesuch. So he’s shocked when he gets popped. He wasn’t expecting it. And you, 7, are vindicated.
Doesn’t that feel good?