You call *this* disabled-accessible?

In My Humble Opinion
81

My 18yo son, Jake, is physically disabled due to a rare birth defect. He can walk short distances with braces and crutches, but due to his condition this is painful and exhausting. Most of the time, he uses a wheelchair.

During the past 18 years I have become very aware of how difficult it is for disabled people to maneuver in the world. Everywhere I go, I’m acutely aware of every obstacle, whether my son is with me or not.

Not long ago, while we were driving, Jake had to pee. We passed several businesses which we could see, just by glancing at them, were clearly not accessible. We found one gas station that appeared promising. Of course, I was prepared to purchase something there in order to be allowed the use of the restroom: it’s not like I was looking for a free toilet.

I ran inside and asked if they had a handicapped accessible restroom. They said yes. So I got the wheelchair out of the trunk, helped Jake transfer to it, and wheeled him to the door (via the usual convoluted and much longer route).

We headed for the restroom and found the walkway was mostly blocked by a rack of baked goods. We could not get to the handicapped restroom at all. Even a moderately obese person could not have gotten back there.

At that point, there was no option but to surrender. I bought a soda, took Jake back to the car, and helped him back in. I emptied the bottle and gave it to him to use as a urinal. He had to pee in a bottle in a gas station parking lot, in a city where a “regular” person would have no trouble finding a toilet.

This particular instance (along with many others) hurt my heart, but Jake is used to that kind of thing. It didn’t disturb him much: he’s used to the humiliation. That’s what pains me. My child should not have to pee in a bottle because very few places can accommodate his wheelchair.

This is a minor episode in Jake’s life. Compared to what he suffers daily, it’s nothing, but it enrages me.

Jake is considering a career in designing handicapped-accessible spaces. He’s scary-smart, and he could do that. I’m so proud of him.

82

Poor kid, nobody should have to get used to that.

And I’d say go for it, career-wise, he could make a name for himself!!

Did you make a note of the place, and contact the corporation (e.g. if it’s part of a chain) and point out the problem? If enough people complain about stuff like that, maybe they’ll take notice.

I just had another reminder just now. I’m at work today, and using crutches, and had to go down the hall to the restroom. I looked at the door with a critical eye because of this thread, and thought that maybe it would be wide enough for a wheelchair, though the immediate right turn might be challenging, especially since you’d be doing that just after managing to get through the self-closing hall door! I’m lucky that I can take very short steps on my bad foot so can manage; someone in a wheelchair or with more serious walking issues would be bowled over by the door.

And once you’re in there, the regular stalls are so cramped that everyone tends to use the disabled stall. Honestly, the building designers could have made one huge stall, and one large one, and it would have been enough capacity.

83

Oh, and syncope, if you disposed of that bottle in one of their trash cans, and “forgot” to tighten the lid enough, I would blame you :smiley: (though I suspect you’re a better person than I am and the poor fellow who emptied the trash was probably not the one responsible for the lousy layout anyway).

84

Er, that should read “wouldn’t”, not “would” :smack:.

85

It didn’t even occur to me at the time to complain, although I agree I should have done so. I understand that business owners might be reluctant to spend a lot of money to make the place truly accessible (as opposed to just following the letter of the law) to accommodate a very small population of potential customers.

Having a rack of bread in the store brings in money. Eliminating that bread rack (because there’s nowhere else to put it in the tiny store) just so disabled people can use the restroom probably will cost money.

There are times when I’ve picked a battle and insisted Jake be accommodated. For example, when he was in grade school, there was only one accessible door to get into the building. Due to security reasons, that door was kept locked. His sister would go inside, go to that door (it was a long way) and open it for him. If his sister was sick or otherwise not at school that day, Jake couldn’t get in unless he could find some kid who was willing to help him.

I could have gone to the school every day, signed in at the office, opened the door, and then signed out. But this was a time when Jake wanted to be more independent, to not have Mommy at his beck and call. He just wanted to go to school like all the other kids. For a disabled child especially, independence is a BIG deal.

I felt something had to be done. The school was not agreeable to leaving the door unlocked (Jake couldn’t have opened that heavy door by himself anyway) but they did end up posting someone at that door every morning for the sole purpose of letting my son into the building. Short of remodeling an old building, it was a decent compromise.

On the positive side, we always notice when someplace IS accessible. There is a relatively new park near us in the forest preserve. The whole place is 100% accessible, even the beach, and they even have a beach wheelchair. (Ever try pushing a regular wheelchair on sand? It’s hellish. That beach wheelchair is an engineering marvel; I’d like to kiss whoever invented it on the lips.)

In new construction, taking the needs of the disabled into consideration doesn’t cause able-bodied people problems. Retrofitting old places is much harder to do.

86

P.S. Leaving an unsecured bottle of pee for the hapless employees to encounter is a tempting idea. But the minimum-wage-earning teenagers probably weren’t the ones who decided to block the restroom.

It would be better to find the guy who put the bread rack there, then break his kneecaps so he’d be in a wheelchair and thus unable to use the restroom in his own store.

It’s nice to think about, but I’d never actually do such a thing.

87

Yes, if one was to “pick a fight” with every single establishment that didn’t live up to accessibility standards, then one would have no life outside of such activity. The scene she describes in the gas station is all too familiar to me. There are examples like this all over the country, in every little nook and cranny. Knowing when to pick that fight is important. Some may not agree with your decisions when to “pick” and when to “pass”, but only you (the general you) really know what is important to you.

88

So would you call that a pulling-up-a-wheelchair post?