You’re prettier than you think. Also stupider. Get an education, for god’s sake. P.S. - There is no god.
The winner, so far.
Darth Vader is Luke’s father. Leia is his sister. Stupid, right?
No it isn’t, I am native-level in Catalan having started speaking it at age 19 (although I had been exposed to it my whole life), and apparently more fluent than I feel in French even though I didn’t start on it until my 30s.
The only time that’s too late to start learning something is after you’ve died.
- Buy Apple and Google.
- Hold.
- Proft!
No, really!!!
Credit card debt will cause terrible suffering. Go to school in Toronto, get into standup comedy. Work harder.
Move out of Florida ASAP. Look up XXXX. This person will stand by you forever. Don’t make work your sole identity.
"You have a condition called ADD, research it and learn coping skills. Ask Beth out, seriously. Don’t smoke. Get C’s and be happy ”
Can you send this to me as well? Though I got the BA degree, I didn’t continue on and just accepted it. So now I"m doing a Master’s at age 47. I’ll be 112 by the time I finish.
Do more math & science. Don’t marry x or sleep with y or z, do take up Aikido early, write write write write. You are better than you think.
Just eat healthily - you’re not fat. Don’t invest emotionally in a bloke you meet in the next summer holidays. When you can, buy to let.
“You’re depressed. Seek help. Girls like you. Talk to them and they will have sex with you. Wear a rubber every time. Don’t be afraid to buy stocks that you believe in.”
Being a comedy writer is a thing, go and do that.
Hey kid, we can send messages from the future now, how cool is that! Can’t help you though, temporal prime directive, you know how that is. Good luck
Honestly, I think I would choose something like this over some life-changing advice. What if the advice changes things so I never meet my wife, never have my kids. Can’t risk it.
“Floss”.
“Take a year off after you graduate. You’re not ready for college yet.”
Well, honestly, after a few (minor) skin cancers, maybe I should add “Wear sunscreen!”. (Not the whole “Wear sunscreen” speech, though.)
Go ahead and marry at 20. He IS the one. Adopt a child or two. Keep the stocks you inherit, they are solid.
Including spaces, 138:
“You will be a girl someday.Learn fencing.Study IT/networking in college.Invest in Apple.Join the SDMB in 2000.Marry Fierra.Believe in you.”