Due to shenanigans you have been given the opportunity to write a traditional physical letter to your past self, namely it will pop through the letterbox of wherever you happened to be residing on your 10th birthday. Edited to add that it will be ensured that young you rather than your parents or others gains access to the letter first and an opportunity to read it in private.
The facilitators have set a few ground rules. For minor infringements the offending text will be excised, for egregious attempts to game the system the letter will be completely destroyed before being sent.
no direct personal advancement*, in other words no stock tips or advice to bet on certain football games etc something along the lines of recommending a particular career is OK though
no direct or indirect attempts to effect or warn of external world events, no trying to prevent 9/11 etc but personal advice like “stay away from Stewart, he’s no good for you” is again OK
you can choose for the letter to either be delivered anonymously or with a pseudonym of your choice. If you prefer you can use your real name and attempt to convince young you of your identity but this may be difficult without causing cosmic censorship issues
*the timeline will branch off from the moment young you reads the letter, so it won’t create a better present for current you but an alternate timeline where the young you leads a different life. You can however observe the results of this different timeline.
So what do you say in your letter? Advice? Encouragement? Provide a warning?
Velocity, get serious. Stop blowing off your studies, study that 2nd language, stop lazing about and doing nothing. Also, when you get into your 20s, don’t go into credit card debt and save some $$$ instead. Go into aviation or medicine instead of that liberal arts degree. Stop learning hard lessons “by experience” - as Ben Franklin says, that’s the worst possible way to learn something.
DO go to study in Barcelona. DON’T live with your grandparents: there’s a lovely nuns-owned dorm on Esperanza, 15’ walk from your college, which will cost less than your Grandma charges and save you a lot of distress. Oh, and that asshole Calculus teacher? Turns out he’s a close friend of your Grandpa’s, may both of them rot in Hell together. BTW, for 1st-year Calculus, don’t bother study anything other than Bolzano’s Theorem: that man-bitch has been including it in every exam for years, that’s why he refuses to let the students take away the questions unlike every other teacher. Make sure you memorize it exactly: if he’s used x[sub]a[/sub] and x[sub]b[/sub] don’t use x[sub]1[/sub] and x[sub]2[/sub] since the jackshite uses that as an excuse to strike down the whole demo. Memorizing that thing can save you one or two years of your life along with a lot of parental stress. And yes, your cousin The Redhead is a fluffy-headed imbecile; then again, it’s probably a survival mechanism considering who raised her…
Nikki, in a few weeks; yes. Marsha, in a few years; yes, if it still happens that way, but don’t expect much.
Ride your bike more, and every day. Lose weight. It really, really matters later on.
When you get to college, try harder. They’re just books. Turn off the TV and read them. Also, college girls are hornier than they let on, try harder at that, too. You’ll be surprised.
Dear Stubborn One:
a) I (still) agree with you about what you call “fadism” and will later call “individuality” and “nonconformity”, and all of your observations are pretty much spot-on; but I would like to direct your attention outside of the 4th grade classroom and the town of Valdosta (where the kids growing their hair long and wearing peace signs and so forth are the conforming sheep), and have you look at the older kids and young adults that your mind-dead classmates are copying. I want to suggest to you that there is more going on here than a set of fashion statements and affectations, and you might want to read some of the stuff those older long-haired guys are saying. Including the rock music. You can continue to dislike it if you wish but read the lyrics when you get a chance.
b) Find a safe place to put the things you write. Make copies of the things that you write. Maybe keep a scrapbook or something. Include essays and reports you turn in for class.
c) As with the fadism / conformity thing, you are spot-on about children’s liberation and children’s social status. But in your determination to be taken seriously as a fully dignified person, you are behaving in a way that sets you apart from other children, as if it would be oh so horrible to be thought of as one of them. But you yourself have already figured out that children behave as they do mostly because of how they’re treated, and I have some bad news for you about adults: they may be calmer and more patient and have the appearance of being in control of their own behaviors, but they, and the so-called civilized adult society they’ve set up, are the equal in nastiness and short-sightedness of the worst children you’ve been exposed to, so quit being a snob about it.
d) Look all over the house for a forwarding address for Karen from last year. Ask Mama if she knows. If you can find it, WRITE TO HER. You’ve got something special and should not let it slide through your fingers.
e) Tell Mama and Daddy you want a different kind of piano teacher, one who will help you play by ear better instead of trying to cure you of it. The way you do it will let you play anything once you’ve heard it, and if you had a piano teacher who worked with you instead of against you, you could be really good at this.
Younger me- it’s not that hard not to be shy - give it a try! You don’t need to be afraid of people, since most are pretty decent. If they’re not, you don’t need to deal with them.
And don’t be afraid to ask questions. Yeah, you figure out a lot of stuff from context or just from listening, but you’ll learn a lot more if you ask.
And don’t pay attention to your high school guidance counselor. She’s trapped in the past. You’re not limited to “girl jobs” and the sooner you figure that out, the more exciting your life will be.
But do pay more attention to Craig - he really likes you.
I’d be too afraid of destabilizing my timeline. I enjoy my life and think I turned out okay, and would be reluctant to attempt to butterfly effect myself lest I turn out terrible as a result.
Besides, you’re saying the letter would arrive when I was 10. Any good advice I might give myself would go way over my head.
Do not major in theatre. Also, you are never gonna fuck the dark haired girl with the huge rack and green eyes. Save yourself some heartbreak, and just don’t chase that.
Baker, don’t marry the first guy who asks you, When the time comes, and he asks, you will know who I mean. Stay in the Army for at least another hitch, you will get that bonus and the lifestyle suits you. Keep ion contact with Larry, he’s an okay guy.
You take way too much crap from Brian. Don’t be afraid to ignore him, to walk away or to forcefully defend yourself if needed. Get as far away from him as fast as possible and don’t look back.
I know school sucks. It’s painful, degrading and spiritually carcinogenic. Try to study harder and pull those grades up.
Dad really does love you. It’s hard to see but in a couple of decades, you’ll figure out what a kind and and frankly, cool guy he is.
I would seriously consider abandoning the idea of a career in education and go to a trade school. Every town I have ever lived in had a cabinetmaker, so go with woodworking. If you must be a teacher, take every class you need to be a reading specialist and save yourself a lot of heartache.
Keep in touch with Carla; she will help you find the best path for your spiritual life. Believe it or not, you will want that.
Find the exercise you like (try water aerobics) and do it. Often! As a great song will say someday, take care of your knees; you will miss them when they are gone. Learn to eat better so you don’t get a body shape so much like your German grandmother.
Start learning music now, because it is something you will find very rewarding in the future.
Stop trying to rescue Mom and Dad. She drinks and he runs around. Period. They love you in their way, but they aren’t going to stop that shit for your sake.
The second a boy at school starts with the aggressive sexual talk, scream and pound and kick and stomp. Don’t just stand there ignoring them. That doesn’t work. Even if you get suspended for fighting, it’ll be worth it to get them to leave you alone because you’re a crazy bitch.
Take some martial arts classes, so your pounding and kicking and stomping will be more effective. Not just something to laugh at. Try to break some legs, if you can.
No matter what Mom or anyone else says, the Bible is just a book like any other book. Be a good person, yes. The rest is bullshit.
Concentrate on your writing. Don’t let it die. Don’t waste your time on fanfiction. Send stuff in. Don’t let rejection stop you. You’re good at it. It isn’t bragging to think you’re good at something. It isn’t selfish to pursue it. Office work sucks just as much as you suspect it does. Try at least to make money at something you love to do. Money won’t ruin the thing you love.
You have Asperger’s Syndrome. (If I didn’t send this letter, you wouldn’t find this out until you were 55.)
This will explain a lot about your behaviour, your relationships, your best career choices and your strengths / weaknesses.
You’re going to make some great choices!
Always pay off credit cards in full; don’t take drugs (including tobacco + alcohol); get jobs with good pensions; save up for a house.
Signed glee (just like in those sci-fi books you read!)
Dude.
Don’t go with J. She will fuck you up.
D. will eventually flirt–go for it. It won’t last, but it will be what you’re looking for.
NEVER get in the car with D. and her sister–you’ll die.
Oh and uh…hit up the Navy when college is over. You need to get away from the home town.
Neither you nor your parents nor your therapist know that you’re autistic. It explains a lot, and autism doesn’t always look like you think it does.
You may not see what your parents do to you as abuse, but it is. You should tell someone. You should tell the therapist. It’s one thing you didn’t think to mention, as you thought this treatment of you was normal.
You’re doing well in school. It’s good that you’re taking French Immersion. Keep it up. It’s useful. And you’re learning about birdwatching in school, which you’ll still have an interest in all these years later.
I know you often feel like you have a depressing life. But there are things that will get better. You’ll play instruments in a few years, and work in the music field later on. Many of your dreams will come true, and many good thing will happen that you couldn’t have dreamed of.
Do not major in English. Just don’t. No matter what anyone says, the English teaching jobs are going to vanish completely during your working lifetime. Don’t major in elementary education either. Trust me.
You have Asperger’s Syndrome. (If I didn’t send this letter, you wouldn’t find this out until you were 55.)
This will explain a lot about your behaviour, your relationships, your best career choices and your strengths / weaknesses.
The religion you are in is wrong. Yes, really. No I’m not joking. Really it is. Yes, I do know. (this one will take more convincing)
Don’t settle in your job positions. You can do better.