Advice you'd give your 18-year-old self

If you could give your 18-year-old self some advise about life, what would you say?

I’d probably reassure myself that everything is going to turn out all right. I think I wasted too much time worrying about the future. I could’ve been more relaxed and enjoyed life a little more. The truth is, nothing really turned out as planned anyway, but it’s not the end of the world and I’m doing fine.

I’d also tell myself not to take dating so seriously. I was insecure and I tended to rush into relationships (and then become devastated when they invariably fell apart). Maybe if I’d known that the right woman wouldn’t come around until my 30s anyway, I’d relax a bit and just enjoy the ride. Why the hell was I in such a hurry to get married and have kids at 18?

There are other things I could tell myself, but I don’t think it would’ve done any good. For instance, I’ve always known I should be myself and not care if others approve or not, but I never really believed it until I grew up a little and gained the life experience to know how important it is. There are some things you just have to learn on your own, and no amount of advice (even from yourself) is going to change this.

Spend more time studying and stop eating second helpings.

Do NOT marry him. Just don’t. Don’t get married for at least 10 years, but especially not to him. While you’re at it, quit smoking now.

I wouldn’t have listened to me, of course.

Dump the redhead.

Everyone who said that high school will be the best years of your life, lied. Thank goodness.

You’re depressed. Get your ass to a doctor now, before it bites you in the ass later.

Be less afraid of rejection - years later it won’t make a bit of difference if she says no, and who knows? you might find a good thing if she says yes.

Don’t ignore those 5lbs each years. It doesn’t take long for it to add up to waaaay too fat!

“Things will get better. Just live it out. Again, if you behave yourself, things will get get better.”

If a woman wants to sleep with you, there is no good reason to say no. Even if she’s ugly, she still might be talented. Nothing wrong with finding out.

Quit worrying so much. And stop caring what your mother thinks; it’s your life, not hers. Do whatever the hell you feel like doing.

Hang on to that indifference to what everyone else thinks, even when the rationale for it morphs from ignorance to willpower. It’s what seperates the successes and the failures in life.

Dude, it’s a drug. Leave it alone. I don’t care what your friends say, it won’t make you more popular, successful, or better with women. And no, not everyone needs to escape reality.
Community college is the way to go. Paying out of state rates for a state college will create a huge debt for you to pay off.

Also, that Kathy chick is kind of hot. I bet she wants you.

SSG Schwartz

Exercise, dammit. Try, try, try to make into a habit, not something you do just from time to time.

Be aware you’re depressed. You’re handling it, now, but it’s not going to stay handled. Don’t be so resistant to getting treatment later on.

Give up on romance. It’s not going to happen, so stop making yourself miserable about it. Especially, for pity’s sake, stop focusing on impossible women.

Study abroad!

St John’s Wart. Lots of it.

Go to the damn tech college.

A 2 year degree in microcomputer repair will take you far, in the 80’s.

Stop being so damn compliant with Mom & Dad. Raise some Hell, & get your own way.

Just because the college cafeteria is all you can eat doesn’t mean you have to see how much you can eat. Yes, I know you’re finally getting your adolescent growth spurt, but ease up on the starches and sweets, get more exercise, and it wouldn’t hurt to pay a little more attention to your appearance, either. Then maybe those cute girls will smile back at you instead of laughing at you.

Oh, and if you meet up with someone named Paulie in about 8 years, she’s just looking for a meal ticket. Sandy, on the other hand, just might be interested if you don’t wait too long.

Go into the Army, like you’re thinking about, but don’t get married to that guy your parents haven’t met.

Buy Apple, Microsoft and AOL.

That would pretty much take care of any of my other minor issues.

Don’t lift weights.

Wear hearing protection.

Beer, just say no.

There are plenty of fish in the sea. Throw the one that you have back and bait the hook for better ones.

I would tell myself to:

a) STAY IN COLLEGE even if it means living at home with your dad & his cranky new wife.
b) ENJOY YOUR CELLULITE-FREE THIGHS, GORGEOUS ASS & PERKY BOOBS! stop worrying that you’re not as hot as other girls, you’re super hot, you just don’t know it yet!
c) DON’T DON’T DON’T start seeing your friend’s boyfriend behind her back, it’s just wrong wrong wrong - you can find your own man - plus you’ll lose almost all of your friends over it in just a few months.
d) SERIOUSLY stay in college.

You don’t need a credit card.

Trust me.

There are so many things to say, but if I take myself back to that early July in 1986 and stand in that particular spot, the thing that would sum it all up would be: Don’t go to college yet, you’re not ready. Instead, reach out to your family and friends and get away from your parents. Their special brand of fuckery is not normal or functional and is not OK. Run- you run fast and you run hard. Start another life with normal, loving, and supportive people who can teach you much better and more than those dipshits ever did.

Enjoy life more, take chances more, find a way to finish a 4-year degree, get laid sooner, rather than later, exercise should be a way of life, and don’t use that credit card.