To the dimwit user that keeps calling us, then abandoning the support calls before we can resolve the issue…
That window said “Wait for your token code to change, then enter the new code”. Is that not perfectly fucking clear? It’s simple fucking English! Look - I’ll break it down into smaller pieces that might be easier for you to understand:
Wait for your token code to change
then enter the new code
Is that better, you fucking dimwit? Is that helpful? Oh, and while we’re at it, thank you for completely omitting this dialog from the troubleshooting we did this morning. It’s always really helpful when you fucking stupidly tell me something COMPLETELY different is happening, so I waste time troubleshooting in the wrong direction. You stupid fuck. Don’t ever fucking call support again.
I fucking hate doing desktop support. Where is my fucking Support Specialist?!? At LUNCH?!? Get back here, motherfucker, and answer that fucking phone.
I think it’s the “wait” part that they’re having a problem with. Perhaps a line that says:
If you would rather call the Help Desk than wait for the code to change, bear in mind that you will be on hold for a hell of a lot longer than it takes for the code to change, so why don’t you just suck it up and WAIT??? If, on the other hand, you still want to call the help desk, please leave your token out so you can watch the numbers change and think to yourself, “Hey, I shoulda just waited… hey, they just changed again… I shoulda waited… hey, there they go again… dang… again… huh…”
The answer to your question is, no. No, they cannot read. Not only can they not read, they can’t recognize pictures.
Part of my horrible job is activating rebate cards for suckers who pay too much for the latest shitty cell phones. We frequently get calls from people who are outraged that the rebate is in the form of a card, claiming that they were never informed of this. Not only does it say in three different places on the form that the rebate will be on a card, there is a picture of a fucking card right on the form.
Another brand of caller is the ones who can’t activate the card. They can’t activate it because they punch in the wrong phone number. Despite being told on the letter immediately above where the card is stuck what the last digit of the correct phone number is they punch in their own phone number instead. Because apparently **USE THE LAST FOUR DIGITS OF YOUR MOBILE NUMBER ENDING IN *9 (or whatever the last digit is) is a mystery beyond human deciphering. These same callers, after being told three times on the automated prompt to enter the right number and failing, get transfered to me and still can’t figure it out.
And the third class of idiot callers are those who can’t read the words VALID THRU printed next to the expiration date on the cards and figure out that this means that, indeed, the cards expire (a sort of subset of this bunch are the ones who see a date of, say, 12/06 and think the card expires on December 6th instead of figuring out that the date is in month/year format).
Are you kidding me? People can read, they just can’t be botherred. Browse the topics here at the “World’s Smartest Internet Board” sometime, and notice how many dipshits either
a) suggest something that the OP specifically excludes in the first place or
b) suggest something that has already been mentioned in the thread at least 2 times
I think we could all help make the world a better place if we just tasered these people in the genitals until they were impotent and infertile.
I get especially happy when the problem is, “I can’t print!” == “I forgot my password and can’t log in.” Or, “I can’t search!” == “The Search button on the MDI client window is below the frame.” which by the way == “I am too stupid to move the window up an inch.” Or, “My login doesn’t work!” == “The app I want to use hasn’t been installed yet and I haven’t noticed for 3 months, so what the hell app am I trying to open?”
This isn’t like those Microsoft instructions where the user is actually staring ata screen that says “insert activation code” and you’re calling it a token code and pitting the user for not knowing that secretly those terms refer to the same thing…is it?
'Cause I do see that kind of complaint from time to time.
My favorite is the Novell password popup…when I change my network password, a popup comes up about changing my Windows password to match, and prompts me to “enter password”.
Secretly, it means “enter the about-to-be-OLD, WINDOWS password to establish your credentials to CHANGE TO the NEW password.” But that plain English sentence is not what it actually says. Instead, KNOWING that I have just changed to a new password and memorized it (for the network), it JUST says “password” mysteriously. That one constantly trips people up in this company.
If your users have in fact been properly instructed as to what a “token code” is, please disregard this quibble and Pit away!
[Off Topic] SecureID is, in itself, the spawn of the Devil, or at least its first cousin. A SecureID token generator in the hands of a drooling idiot who can’t figure out how to use it… is a security breach just waiting to happen, IMO [O.T.]
Other than that, I got nuttin’. Yeah, people are idiots. In other news, Sun rises in East; surprises bear out in the woods, looking for its toilet.
The OP’s company probably uses SecureID. Users are issued a token generator along with a username and password. The token generator is a key fob-sized device that randomly generates “tokens”, which are short character sequences. A user logs in first by entering their username and password, then the token from the token generator. The token generator is constantly cycling through tokens every few seconds, which is why the user has to wait for a new one. The part the user is too stupid to get is that any old token won’t do, only the most recent one will work. That’s why the login dialog tells the user to wait for a new token.
Yeah, I love SecurID, I used to have to use it at my old place. They told you not to put it with your laptop computer, because that would make it easier for someone who had your laptop to break into the company’s systems. Where do you think most people put them, though, so they didn’t have to go digging around for them when they wanted to conect remotely? When when when will the supposed security “experts” at companies realize that the biggest hit to security at most companies is the 12 layers of security they add to everything, with different rules for each layer?
If I were allowed to use one strong password for everything, I wouldn’t h ave to have a password repository, or write passwords down on little post-it notes taped to my monitor, etc.
Since we’re talking about stupid users contacting support who can’t read, I have to share a ticket that I got this morning. Here’s what it said (copied directly from the email):
Note that he didn’t mention which system was giving him problems (I support three), nor did he give a last name or any contact information so I could call him and help him.
(Un)fortunately, the tickets come auto-populated with contact info, so I called the guy, and he tells me he can’t use our new electronic expense system. I let him bitch and moan for a few minutes about how it sucks, isn’t user friendly, is a waste of our companies money (what, you want us to use Excel forms for the rest of eternity?). When he’s done I ask him, “Did you take the training?”
“What training? There’s was no training on this system! That’s another thing wrong with this shitty new program!”
“Actually sir, if you look at the login screen right beneath where you enter your user ID and password, there’s a big link that says TRAINING.”
“No, there isn’t!”
“Actually, yes there is. I know it’s there because I recorded the WebEx session and posted the link. Will you please log on and take another look?”
“I don’t know why you’re making me do this. I spent all morning trying to enter my…”
Dead silence for almost a minute as reality dawns on him.
“Is there anything else I can help you with today?”