If you need help practicing your story by telling someone about bizarre sexual things you are made to do, be sure to let me know…
I fell asleep watching Breaking Bad last night and had a stress dream about needing to launder my drug money.
I didn’t think of the angle where I tell people I’m being kept by a wealthy man. I certainly don’t know enough about anything to start a business legitimate or not. It would definitely have to look like a series of cash gifts. Or Jewelry. Diamonds are the currency of the underworld. I learned that from Law and Order so it must be right.
Cooking meth is so stressful.
Structuring, and they’d detect you either buying or using them, and you’d be in deep trouble.
Well, don’t you think the drug dealers haven’t thought of this, and also the Feds? Next, you’re just laundering $60K a year, which amount you could just spend in cash by bumping up your lifestyle in a non-showy way.
I definitely would like a good answer to this. I know a few reasons why you might consider trying to launder or otherwise hide the money, but doing what is legal and straightforward seems to be the best answer to me.
And the answer is: see my post #106. Short- i*t’d work. *
Hey, chip in your 2 cents 49,999,999 more times, then you can legally account for the entire million.
Oh .02 cents? Better make it 5 billion times total
Because whoever lost it would find you and take it back. And probably do very bad things to you.
We have posted ways to prevent this, for example putting $100K in each of ten not very local banks, getting a CTR from each that totals $1M.
I doubt that will stop the very rich and connected individual(s) who lost a million dollars in a bag. They’ll be at your front door in a number of days.
I’d leave it alone. Seriously.
Reason being, T. Boone Pickens and Bill Gates don’t drop bags of cash on their way to the bank. If you “found” a million bucks, someone left it someplace and is going to come looking for it. They’re highly unlikely to be nice people and will probably make life very difficult for the person who disrupted their plans.
In fact, when you move that bag of money, someone is probably going to get hurt or die because of your interference.
I have full use of my limbs and all of my senses, and AFAIK I’m relatively healthy. Not going to sacrifice that for just a million bucks!
But okay… I’ll play along. So I have found a cool million and nobody’s after me.
I agree with the approach that this is the day I stop going to ATMs. Instead, everything I buy day-to-day is for cash. Groceries, gas, consumer durables.
And no-one’s mentioned this, but I have good credit. Can I just use my credit card, charge ridiculous amounts and get cash advances, but pay it off via money order at the end of the month?
Really, a million bucks ain’t that much. The problem is you can’t buy anything that is wealth-generating with cash without capturing someone’s attention. Bad guys or good guys, and neither group is one you want to screw with.
Essentially, I’d get used to looking for stuff I’d want on Craigslist etc.
at least long enough for the auditions.
Hey. THat’s interesting. Of course now you are paying $500 on every 3 grand plus you’ll pay taxes but still, it’s a lot of money for a little work.
I wonder how that would work. Didn’t someone mention that many states have laws concerning lost money. I’d be concerned that whomever lost the money would find out and want it back and that it might be something illegal. I don’t want to deal with a drug dealer who lost a million.
Okay, how 'bout this. I take the bag, and I put it in a safe deposit box for a year. Then I move. I live in the new place, at least 1000 miles from the other place, for a year. I put the money, and some idiosyncratic identifiers, like Jar-Jar Binks action figure and a Patric Roy hockey card into a used, but different duffelbag. I tell the cops - in my new locale - I’ve found this money.
No one comes forward that can identify the stash. I’m two years and 1000 miles from the original loss, and everything identifying has been changed, except the bills.
I pay my taxes and enjoy my windfall.
Here’s another laundering idea. Find crap to sell on Craig’s list and inflate the prices. HAve yeard sales, Start a flea market business. Over a period of years it could explain extra income. In the meantime you can still pay for groceries, gas, nights out etc, in cash.
Or you could buy expensive things for cash and then tell authorities you got them at a flea market or garage sale, or even that you found it. “I picked it up cause I thought it was pretty. What, it’s very rare and worth $5K. I had no idea…”
pretty good. Patient too. Sounds like it would work unless thee serial numbers match something.
I’d be hard pressed to be that patient unless the money looked trackable. I also would be cynical enouugh to believe if I actually gave it up I’d never see it again.
Another thought. Would the police fingerprint an amount like that to try and find the source?
Antigues might work as well.
That would be my fear. Excited at the thought of finding it and scared to death about bad guys tracking me down. Laying low for a long time and nusing cash for incidentals makes sense. Laundering the money in small amounts over a long period.
I suppose if the money wasn’t in sequntial serial numbers you’d also have to do a little research to see if it was marked in some other way before spending any of it.