The OP stated it was a duffel bag. Clearly it’s full of duffel.
mmm
noun
- a camper’s clothing and equipment.
- a coarse woolen cloth having a thick nap, used for coats, blankets, etc.
- duffel bag.
Count me in with calling the cops immediately.
Maybe my time in Iraq is influencing my perception but my first thought goes straight to IED and there’s no way I’m going anywhere near that car without the bomb squad checking it first.
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Most likely an accordian, possibly a banjo.
Perhaps his first name is “Abrams”…
I’ve lived in the Middle East, where an unidentified duffle gets blown up by a bomb squad. First, make sure my wife hasn’t put it there without telling me. Second, since my car is always locked and only she and I have keys, call the police (without touching it, presumably, to ascertain its temperature). The potential consequences are too dire to take a risk.
Probably stop drinking, or lay off the legal/illegal medication(s)?
A - You probably didn’t actually lock the doors, and someone mistook your car for theirs?
B - You didn’t lock the doors, and someone you know returned your human head collection?
I would suggest you first look around for any identification. Then open the bag to continue your search for ID. (This will sound better if you end up in court. 
) Only then you should decide if you should inventory the contents of the bag.
If it’s drugs, or looks like drugs, notify the police. The rightful owners might be watching you. Right now. As you’re reading this. It will be dark soon.
If it’s money, let your conscious be your guide.
If it’s a bomb, relax, it’s probably too late for you to do anything about it.
[Col. Kurtz voice]The horror. The horror.[/CKV]
I would react with paranoia. Probably unass the AO immediately. Call the cops from a different location. Ask them to bring their dogs out to sniff the car over. Drugs…bombs…whatever. I ain’t touching it. My car has keyless entry, I have the only fob, and I don’t own a duffle bag.
Check my voice, text and email messages, check my physical mail, in case it was dropped off by a friend. If that came up blank, then I’d call the cops, for violence, including being blown up, is an small but real occupational hazard.
Alas, me, too. I’m not fighting the hypothetical, but I’d simply presume that I’d put it there myself and had forgotten it.
Some months ago, I came home, and there was a big bag of fresh groceries on my doorstep. I knew I’d never sent out for any, so I guessed that some delivery guy had dropped them at the wrong address. Still, I was paranoid. Maybe the food was contaminated or poisoned or drugged…
Then my sister phoned and said she’d dropped them off as a gift.
I wouldn’t notice it for at least a week. Have you seen the inside of my car?
Just that once, when I dropped the duffel bag in there.
This happened in an episode of MacGuiver. It led to a cross-country adventure that included a washed-up old actor reminiscent of Laurence Olivier and some guys with guns. But it all worked out in the end, so it might be fun.
I’d get in it, and roll around, like a dog in a blanket.
I know, jeez, everyone’s acting like they never forgot anything before. And if I saw something I didn’t expect to be there I’d just figure my wife or kids put it there. I’d think I’d left that bag of groceries out there since last Saturday. It’s not like there aren’t plenty of people who’d love to poison or drug me but they don’t have to go that much trouble, if Bill Cosby offered me a Peppermint Patty I’d be done eating it before I began to wonder why.
In my instance, I drive a Smart Car on a more or less daily basis and its trunk is difficult to open, and it is impossible for me to leave something in the trunk without it being noticed, since the car is so small. The only way a mysterious object could appear in my trunk would be if 1) a family member put it there as a prank or 2) someone with nefarious motives.
I am surprised that no one has said that they would check that they were at the right car. And a number of keyless entry systems have been hacked, so there is no security there.
It seems to occur in every other episode of “Cops”.
“I swear officer, while I was innocently driving with my windows open on this street where there are dealers on every corner, someone threw those drugs in my car.” :dubious:
I could see myself putting my duffel bag in the car and forgetting I’d done it (well, if I had a car). But we’re not talking about my duffel bag. The OP says that we don’t recognize the bag.
EDIT: Quartz, that was elfkin477, in post 19.