You Get E-mail...WHERE?

Ok, so…

We’re getting a new server here at work, and we have a company-wide temp password during the switch. I sent out e-mail to tell everybody, but it’s late afternoon and they’ll need it by morning, so I went specifically to those who might not check e-mail between now and closing to tell them personally.

So I went to talk to my service manager, a chap from Northern England with a heavy, heavy accent (to my ears, anyway.)

Now John (not his real name, obviously) has a new Blackberry. He fixes machines, and it’s hard to take a call when you’re up to your eyeballs in tubes and wires. So the Blackberry is for us to e-mail him, and he’ll check it when he can, though he hears it go off.

I’d forgotten about the Blackberry.

So, I went downstairs to speak to John, told him the password, and he said, or at least I heard him to say, “I just got that e-mail through my cock.”

So I said, (as you do) “Beg your pardon?” See, I’m not a girly girl and I’m in charge of a shop and office full of guys, so language doesn’t offend me, but I was curious - as you are, I’m sure - how one might receive e-mail via penis.

And John said, “I got it just now, through my cock.”

And I said, “Wow…um…wow…what??”

So now I need to explain that John, who has that heavy Northern English accent, wears a leather shop apron, in which (as I understand it) he keeps his sacrificial chickens. And possibly tools. I try to stay out of the shop, and away from things sufficently mechanical as to appear to be magic.

John reached in to the large, center front pocket, nudged aside a doomed chicken, possible displaced a vial of something that turns lead into gold and pulled out his Blackberry.

“Right here, luv, I get me e-mails through me crotch!” he grinned. As it turned out, I’d misheard him completely. Penis, in this case, did ensue as a result.

I turned serveral shades of red. Then almost wet myself laughing, told him what I’d understood him to say, and we had a discussion about the merits of a penis as a wi-fi device.

So that’s my laugh for today. And it was so good I had to share.


“…I’m getting a fax!”