You get to change one personal decision

In My Humble Opinion
1

Congratulations! While you were on the internet today, you received an email from a long lost relative. As it turns out, this person is an inventor who has been working on a special device that allows the user to review his or her life and make one change, to see how things would have turned out.

Also, being the genius that this distant relative is, you have two options - you can either be transported back to the moment that you made said change, living out all the events as they happen, or, if you’d like, you can have all the subsequent memories automatically transplanted in your head.

When you use the device, all knowledge of “future events” from the decision point to the present will be wiped from your memory, so you won’t be able to prevent 9/11, win the lottery, etc. Once you reach the present, you will remember everything about both lives.

But that’s not all! When you reach the present, the device allows you to choose whether you’d like to remain in the original timeline, or if you’d like to remain in the alternate one, but the memories from the other timeline will be wiped from your mind.

So, do you accept his offer, and if so, what decision do you change and why? What would you expect to happen as a result?

I’d definitely take the offer, if only out of curiosity. I’d reach to when I was trying to decide where to submit my “early decision” application for college. I was down to two universities and while I got in to my first choice, I would’ve liked to have seen if I could’ve gotten in to the other. That would have radically changed my life. I don’t know if I would’ve come out earlier or later, as the realization of my sexuality was brought on by a freak occurrence. Additionally, where I attended did not have a grad school in my field, while the alternate university did. I’m not saying I would’ve automatically gotten in, but it might’ve helped matters.

As a result of my original timeline, I met someone with whom I had a (now defunct) 8 year relationship and chose a grad school that, while alright, is not a place of which I would recommend for everyone, but that’s a rant for another day. I’m happy with my career, although there have definitely been some bumps on the road, making me feel like I’m a little behind.

An odd situation, I know, but I was talking with friends about “defining moments” earlier this week, and it struck me that the “college decision” was my first “life defining moment” over which I had a great deal of control.

2

I didn’t graduate from college, because of a bureaucratic snafu. I was following the university level checklist…but it was the actual department level checklist that counted. (Sort of like a county government’s law trumping Federal law!)

If I could have a do-over, I’d send a polite note to myself to use the correct checklist.

Alternately, “Don’t start drinking, you idiot. Just don’t.”

3

Sure. I’d go back to second semester of freshman year of college and see what my life would have been like if I’d decided to take Gen Chem 2 instead of Acting 2. I imagine I’d have been a chem major instead of a theater major and that would have severely impacted the course of my life both in college and afterward. The really interesting thing is that I was friends with a lot of chem majors so I’d be curious to see just how my social life would have changed.

4

Wouldn’t have asked my first wife out on that first date.

5

Mine would have nothing to do with college – I’d have flunked out no matter which one I went to. I applied and was accepted at Duke. That’s not where I went, but it’s the top line in my otherwise very unimpressive resume

6

I don’t think there is one turning point that, by changing, would make a significant difference in my life. I am the sum of my experiences, some bad, some good, and of the things I wish I could change, none of them hinged on one bad decision or one event.

One thing I kind of wish I had done: my college drama department was putting on The Importance of Being Earnest, and I wanted to try out for Lady Bracknell, because I thought it would be fun for me and for the audience to do it in drag. I was over 6’2" at the time and, as John says, “She’s a regular Gorgon. At any rate, she’s a monster without being a myth, which is decidedly unfair.” But I was chicken and didn’t go to the audition. (I wasn’t in Drama, but I think it was an open audition).

7

Drinking. Definitely drinking. If I had to do it all over again I would never touch the stuff. Ever. Nothing good ever came from it, only disaster.

8

I personally can’t think of any particular life decision that I would do over again. Some were not ideal, but I like where I’m at now and, butterfly effect and all that, I wouldn’t want to fuck it up.

9

For me this sort of thing (when I’ve thought about it myself) around relationships I’ve had with women. Not really much for me to choose from, but there was this very sweet woman who came to my division when I was in the navy and I’ve sometimes wondered how my life would’ve gone had she and I “hooked up.” I didn’t have much confidence in myself back then but she seemed to like me and…{sigh} Oh, well.

What would I expect to have happened? Who knows? But I’m pretty sure my “timeline” would’ve been different than what it turned out to be!

10

My first answer to these types of questions tend to get me in trouble, so I’ll go with my second choice.

When my father threw me out of his house and sent me back to my mother, I would stay away from her and try to live on my own somehow. Or get away from her as soon as I could. I was 17 at the time.

11

197-something. Allison really wanted to do something. I was so stupid.

12

I am only a little astounded yet familiarly dismayed that my possible candidates for a different decision (that might have made my life better) quickly rise into double digits after only a minute or so of thought.

13

I woulda said my piece that night.

14

About 15 years ago I was the editor of a regional political publication while at the same time I had just “retired” after my first software company went public.

After taking a bit of a sabbatical from business, I arranged to help start up a new company as a founder and head of development. Just as that company was getting off the ground I received a call from a national political organization which had apparently taken notice of the political work I was doing and offered me the opportunity to become editor of their monthly magazine.

I told them I was flattered but I was starting a new business and couldn’t just drop it.

The new business has been successful and I feel I’m doing meaningful work with it. However, I’ve always wondered what it would have been like to have moved to Washington DC, in the midst of all the power brokers, and started a new career with a national audience. I’d love to go back and see how that time line would have turned out.

15

Yeah, I have one of those. Probably not life changing, but it would have been nice.

My first thought was avoiding my ex at the start, but despite all the drama and pain, I’d do it again to keep my kids. Maybe I can just improve the break up.

16

I would marry him.

17

I wish I could go back to a few semesters before I graduated college and make serious plans for graduate school - getting recommendations, schmoozing with the faculty, finding applicable internships, etc. as well as taking the GRE and arranging for scholarships/financing.

At the time I knew that I wouldn’t be able to use a 4-year psych degree as much more than proof I’d graduated college, but I didn’t really understand that. So I coasted along until I graduated, then abruptly had no idea what to do next.

If I’d gone into clinical psychology (which I was leaning towards), I would be making serious money by now. Boo.

18

I can easily think of a few personal choices that I’d change, but I’ll go with one of the earliest, my choice of college major.

19

22 November 1998 - I’d have stayed in bed.

20

Sure! I’d ask, “What would it be like if I had never made this very post?”

ETA: Wow! It worked! Turns out this post is super important to some wonderful things that happen to me later in life, so I’m keeping it.