http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/world/7235416/skinny-dipper-gets-a-nasty-spider-bite/
I’m crossing my legs and I’m not even male:eek:
I like the Front-Page headline: “Skinny-dipping tourist bitten down under”.
Oh, and eek.
‘Say, doc. Can you get rid of the pain and keep the swelling?’
When I was in Girl Scouts (in Kentucky) there were rumors that black widows and big scary wolf spiders were hiding in the camp latrines. The result was that no one ever wanted to sit on the seat so the latrines became rather messy and some girls just held it until the daily hike, when they could run and hide behind a bush.
I can imagine his mate on the phone to the Emergency services.
Mate: my friend, he has been bitten by a spider, it’s all swollen and …
EMT: you need to get the poison out - suck and spit
Mate: but, it is his … - whats going to happen to him if I don’t
EMT: it will be real bad
Bitee: what did they say, what do we need to do
Mate: <swallows hard> it’s gonna be real bad…
Si
I lived in NZ for thirty years, right smack dab in the middle of Katipo Spider country (sandy beach coast), and I never even saw one.
Maybe the spider imagined himself in a sword fight?
My Australian neighbor always said Kiwis were a bunch of dick munchers. Guess he was right.
A timeless classic among my circle of friends. As I heard it, the punchline was “Doctor said you gonna die.”
And, from the linked article:
*
he was treated at Whangarei Hospital *
My brother is a soldier. While on practice maneuvers in the south of the US, one of his squad-mates woke up with a tick thoroughly attached to his “gun”.
The poor bastard deserved a lot of sympathy at that moment, but the Sergeant instead used him as a training exercise. He explained to the rest of the squad that only female ticks sought blood, and that the young Private should be thrilled that he had finally found a woman that was willing to suck his dick. Furthermore, congratulations were in order, because his new girlfriend was almost certainly pregnant.
The squad then heaped praise and well-wishes upon the unhappy couple.