Interesting thing which I found today, on another Internet board which I frequent. A thread on that board a few years ago, on the same subject as this thread on SDMB (IMHO), racked up 28 pages before fading out “of itself”. This issue – is it or is it not OK, to buy someone a book as a present, and then read it oneself before presenting it to the recipient? – seems for sure, a potentially most contentious one.
The 28-page job referred to, was on a board which devotes itself to matters of etiquette. Said board is moderated with a rather heavy hand; and on the whole, participants on it try very hard to “play nice” – in the main, discussion was lively but civil: the one participant who seemed to be getting toward “going postal” – taking comments made, very personally – was sent by the mods, to the naughty corner. In this thread: seeming overall picture got, was that about 60% of posters reckoned “reading it before”, not OK; about 32%, OK; about 8%, neutral or on-the-fence; with various intermediate-and-grey-areas, and very few folk getting fanatical about their positions.
General picture got over this whole thing is, it seems, “never the twain shall meet”: and it’s all about what one feels with one’s gut, rather than about what one sees with one’s head, or any kind of objective making of sense. One poster on the abovementioned thread-on-board, summed it up masterfully IMO:
"Seemingly, four elements to the issue.
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Some people think reading a book before using it as a gift is rude.
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Some people think reading a book before using it as a gift is perfectly acceptable.
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People of group 2 should try to figure out the attitude of the receiver before reading a book meant as a gift, to ensure the receiver is not part of group 1.
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People of group 1 should give the giver the benefit of the doubt, and not contribute any negative reasons for giver’s being part of group 2. "
Seems wise and sensible, to me; but there are people who enjoy enmity and conflict, and seize on any pretext for setting off same…
