I’ve already articulated my position. To repeat:
A gift is something purchased or acquired for another person for their use, not for my use. You called that mystical, which is weird, but fine. Call it mystical. But saying I am refusing to talk about what I believe is pretty goofy.
Certainly - depending on the circumstances. What’s important, in some cases, is selecting something appropriate, not that the thing be bought new and particularly as a gift when bought.
Many’s the time I’ve found a rare or out of print book in a used bookstore, bought it, read it, and then later thought “this would be perfect for my friend Ben, who is into this very thing” - say, 19th century ‘lost race’ fiction - and saved it for his birthday. Why would I not give it to him as a gift? I know he’d like it, more than (say) the latest best-seller, which is easy to get new off of Amazon with one click of a mouse.
Don’t see why that would be somehow offensive to propriety.
You’ve talked about it by defining it. “A gift is X”.
That’s not really an argument, since it isn’t subject to disproof. The only counter-argument is “no, a gift is not necessarily X”.
I have no idea what you expect me to do. Words are defined by use. I can’t disprove the definition of any word.
The closest thing to an already read book that hasn’t changed physically in any way in my mind would be a DVD or video game.
Sure the outer wrapper would be gone but you could still keep the item in pristine condition while you used it before gifting it to someone.
Those on the side of “okay” with reading a book before giving it to someone as a gift, would you also be okay viewing a DVD or playing a video game before giving it to someone?
If I started getting birthday or Christmas gifts from a friend that were open and when I asked why they said “Well, I watched/played it first. No biggie. It’s like brand new” I don’t think I’d remain friends with them much longer.
I wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t personally do it with a new item because a new DVD or Video game has tape on the edges, so it’s impossible to keep them perfectly the same as you bought them in that respect. If new games/DVDs didn’t come with tape on the edges I’d open and play it if I felt like it, just like a book. It harms the media in no way.
I, my friends, family, and my husband have all bought used games for one another without a qualm in the world and gifted old games from our libraries as well. We were all happy for the gifts.
I wouldn’t even think to ask “Why is this open?” if I received an open box of some kind. I’d just be happy to get a gift I enjoyed, regardless of whether it was used or not.
You’d seriously break up a friendship over that?
I can imagine disagreeing on the point, and being annoyed by it, but that’s … a trifle harsh. I’d put up with any amount of etiquette failures from my friends, as long as there was no actual malice involved.
If you’d stop being friends with someone for such a trivial and petty reason, it’s probably not much of a loss for them. At some point you’d have been at their house for dinner and thrown a snit-fit because they hadn’t decanted the bottled salad dressing into a proper unmarked cruet or some other nonsense.
I would probably not watch a movie before giving it to someone, unless it was a child and I wanted to make sure it was appropriate, in which case it would be more of a chore than a pleasure. Perhaps they will want to watch the movie WITH me, so I’d rather not ruin that in advance.
You are claiming a gift is X and always and only X - in this case, “something purchased or acquired for another person for their use, not for my use”. That’s an assertion.
An argument, on the other hand, is some sort of reasoning as to why your assertion is correct.
I might like them a lot less cuz they’ve shown themselves to be chintzy selfish goofs. “ooh, I know the perfect gift for you. A book I want to read.” :rolleyes:
Wow, to me a book from someone’s personal library is a lot more meaningful than one they bought on Amazon and had shipped to my house. I mean, it’s much more personal; it’s something that they bought for themselves and read and cared about enough to keep. I feel the same way about handmade items; they mean more, they’re more valuable.
But I also get attached to my books and when I want someone to read something I am more likely to buy them a new copy than lend out my own.
If they are giving it away, they cared about it enough to keep? 
My mind is actually just boggling at the fact that anybody gives a crap about this, let alone that four pages of giving a crap exists in the world. I give up on humanity.
For a while, anyway. If I add a book to my personal library, it’s with the intention of keeping it. If it didn’t move or enlighten me in some way, I just check it out from the library or give it to Goodwill.
That’s OK. I have a feeling you never knew humanity in the first place so your “giving up” is mostly meaningless. There are grand dreams and petty peculiarities - if you thought it was all one or the other you don’t really have a very mature or thoughtful handle on it.
The sheer randomness of the “offense” of giving a read book to someone just shows me that no matter what and how much care one takes to avoid it, one will surely annoy the hell out of someone with no idea what has happened or why.
It’s not giving someone a book that’s already been read that’s the issue, it’s reading a book that you bought to give to someone else. That’s the point, the intention.
If you bought a book with the intention of reading it then giving it to them, no problem. Well, apart from the fact that it’s a bit cheap, basically, if that’s the main gift to them. A gift is supposed to be a sacrifice on your part, that’s what gives it meaning - that them getting something they want is worth you parting with your time or money. That, to me is what distinguishes a gift from simply sharing a book or film or whatever with someone.
Exactly Steophan. I will “lend” a book I’ve read to someone and not be worried if I get it back but i hardly consider that a gift… Buying something expressly for the use of someone else is what buying a gift means. Even if it’s a used book, the next person using it after you bought it should be the person you bought it for.
So… this is your first time on the Internet, then?
Start a thread on ordering milk to drink in a bar. I dare you. 