It’s not more disrespectful, it’s being more honest. You either give me the choice or you don’t, but be honest about the choices you give me. You either respect that I know what’s best for me or you don’t. If you’re going to treat me as a child and dictate how a I spend money I didn’t even ask for, then cut out the middle man; buy the tickets and send me on my way.
Don’t tangle $15,000 in front of me, that I may need for a new roof, or house-payment or whatever, ALL of which will do more for me and my family, than a vacation EVER would and tell me that I can ONLY spend it as you dictate…none which will help me. You’re not doing me any favours.
I like to think Uncle Ivan will respect me enough to give me the $15,000 and tell me to use it as I see fit, BUT he would love for me to spend it on my honeymoon. Kiss, kiss.
If I need a new roof which is going to cost me $15,000 and you give me a $15,000 vacation, why would I be glad? When I come back home, my roof’s collasped and I have no where to live.
Am I being ungrateful, if I tell Uncle Ivan I need a roof, more than I need a vacation? What happens when Uncle Ivan takes back the $15,000 because I won’t spend it on a vacation? I should be glad? Is he a great guy? Sorry you need a new roof Tomcat…enjoy Aruba. What your car died and your going to lose you job, because you can’t get to work…go see Europe. Owning your own home, is one of the best investments you and your new bride can have…enjoy Maui.
A gift, not a loan; but a gift, is given freely and without terms…anything else is not a true gift.
YMMV, of course.