You have God's corpse. What do you do with it? (aka the TOWING JEHOVAH thread) (open spoilers)

Yeah, that was one of my first thoughts, too. That or his brain.

Okay, fine, question the axioms of the story. Some things you just have to take as given, otherwise it’s hard to hold a discussion.

God’s Body is two miles long. Both Thumb and Crank are probably at least the size of apartment buildings.

My plan focuses on the word “orbit” and possible things you could do from there. All other methods leave too much to chance.

No, I’d pull the “That body? That’s not mine.” route. :smiley:

Look, I never said it was a good plan. But to have that kind of responsibility would genuinely terrify me. And anger me, too. What good is God if he can’t even figure out a way to dispose of his body ahead of time, anyway?

Uh-uh, no way I’m getting dragooned into doing that autopsy. Let Michael Baden or one of those other mad-for-publicity forensic types do it. Two miles long? Man, the Y-shaped incision alone would take weeks. And can you imagine the fuss if you did toxicology tests and found high levels of prescription medication? The Michael Jackson case was bad enough.

I haven’t the fogigest about that book, never heard of it or the plot before, but when I saw the title, only one thing came to mind:

“Weekend at Bernies!”

Yeah, I’d totally do that! :smiley:

Are whales, seabirds, and other scavengers nibbling on God whilst he bobs in the ocean like a fleshy cork?

If so, does having a God-snack turn a seagull into a pterodactyl or at least imbibe it with a soul? There have to be benefits to God-munching beyond the antioxidants, Omega 3 fatty acids, and complete lack of trans fat.

Yes, there were predators eating from the Corpus Dei; the ship’s crew was engaged in anti-predator patrol during much of their journey. The crew also eventually has to eat of God their ownselves. Godflesh has no transmutative properties or ensouling properties, nor does it provide vitamin C and other nutrients founds best gotten from citrus fruit. As Zsofia noted, the divine flesh was made into food like that you’d get into McDonald’s, but I think she’s wrong to imply that this was due to any inherent feature of the meat. Rather, the ship’s cook was an expert at simulating fast food menus. It’s more a commentary on the malleability of the idea of God.

God’s corpse is only two miles long?

I honestly thought the McDonald’s bit was a joke.

No transmutative properties? Bummer dude. I’d let God’s creatures satisfy their craving for a Big Mac - this problem solves itself with no help from me.

OTOH, the Corpus Dei is like a big predator bait. I’d probably shoot sea creatures from my dinghy until I ran out of ammo, then default to plan A.

Hard to believe the Kids in the Hall had it wrong.

Assuming human-like physiology, a 2-mile high God’s wang would be about the size of a modern aircraft carrier, or 1000 feet long. Of course, maybe all the smiting is over-compensating for something…

That was my first thought actually. Haul it to the Antarctic to preserve it as long as possible for study. I’d also be tempted to shoot the angels if they show up; going by the Bible they are murderous slimeballs, and we might benefit from studying them too.

Also; I think atheists would be a lot less disturbed than the book apparently implies. The non-evidence for God that existed before his body appears wouldn’t retroactively get any better. And he absolutely cannot be the kind of omnimax God most people talk of, corpse or no corpse; such a God contradicts the world and itself. And all the arguments for religion being evil still hold; many atheists are antitheists as well, in my opinion. “OK, God was real. He STILL was a mass murdering egomaniac.”

Plus, he’s dead. So now, we’re right.

The angels are already dead, dude. Died of grief, they did, one and all. Mike was the last to go and we mounted his feathers on the hang glider.

Wasteful; they should have frozen the corpse for study.

If I recall aright (and I may not), the angels’ bodies are less durable than God (who may just be a demiurge, anyway). Save only the feathers, they disintegrate once a given angel dies.

Besides, studying the body of a sapient entity after its death, without having first obtained its consent when such consent could reasonably have been sought, is unethical and tacky. My post is my sight. :smiley:

Bury him in accordance with his wishes. God or no, he’s dead, and I’m not desecrating a corpse.

If eating him wouldn’t grant any special abilities/powers/wisdom/mojo, then I’d probably at least steal some of his skin. So I could have it made into leather—jackets, boots, armor, book covers, etc.

Even if I didn’t sell them, they’d be nice heirlooms. And I could tell the grandkids that I made boots out of God after I killed him in a fight.

Crap…if God and angels are real, does that mean Satan’s real, too? If so, we’d better keep some of God’s bones around to make into spearheads and whatnot—they just might come in handy. Better safe than sorry.

As an atheist, I just prayed to every deity I could think of for permission to study their corpse and/or heavenly entourage if they should die ('cept Crom, praying to Crom is a fool’s bet). We’ll see what comes of it.

Display - humanity has the right to such vital information about the nature of reality.