Its my life, and if I am totally incognizant of my S.O. screwing another, that’s for me to deal with. Basically, I know what is going on, I just refuse to confront it. After a while, I know that I should not have intercourse with my S.O…Maybe they will see the light…Stay out of it…nuff said
Better off mindin ya own bidness…folks in that lot will shoot the messenger. No two ways about it.
If I were you, I would try to find a way to give the spouses a fair warning of what’s going on. Do it anonymously, if you’re afraid that it might cause them to lash out at you, but they should have some warning.
I would be very angry if someone knew my bf or husband was cheating and didn’t tell me, because of the STD risk if nothing else. Plus, it would make me feel like a fool, to be the last one to know.
I was also crushed when none of my friends clued me in to my former husbands infidelity. But you don’t know these people. You don’t know their spouses and you don’t know their families. Had some random stranger clued me in or left me anonymous notes, I wouldn’t have responded well - as well as there were times in that relationship were the infidelity was not what it appeared (we went through stages of openness - but he was a cheater - it wasn’t about openness). In other words, you don’t know enough to make it your business.
I must echo Zette, how do you know?
I had a business partner for many years who is an attractive woman. We were partners for about 12½ years. During that time we traveled around the country together, attended many social events together, worked many a weekend that often involved a Saturday lunch together and, as happens when you travel a lot and share a checkbook through miserable times, we attended the occasional movie or went to a bar from time to time.
There’s never been any romance between us, but she remains one of my very best friends. While no longer partners, I still do business with her, and we also talk just to shoot the breeze. Her hubby’s fine with my relationship with her. I work with him these days, and the way it works at our office, when she calls me, almost daily, our receptionist booms over the intercom, “Ringo, Tuesday’s on Line 2.”
So it did kind of chap my derriere when I came to realize there were a few folk out there, talkitive sorts, who just assumed the circumstantial evidence clearly indicated we must have achieved a meeting of the waists.
What do you really know? There’s all sorts of paper trails proving that my friend and I spent nights in the same motels and drank at the same bars.
Well, I’m torn on this. I would probably want to know, just because I would hate to be played for a fool.
Zette, Ringo: I have definitive proof that they are. That’s all I can say. Anything else would say too much.
I’m probably just going to ignore it. As hard as that is.
Expose the cheaters.
Do whatever it takes, but you defintely need to make their SOs aware of this.
Keep your mouth shut and don’t spread the rumor. If you say anything I guarandamntee you that it will blow up in your face and YOU will end up the bad guy and people will end up not trusting you. (The reasoning is that if you will spread the dirty laundry of people you don’t even know, God only knows what you’ll spill about the people closest to you given the right conditions.) It’s not your problem and not your place to say anything. And you don’t even KNOW these people! So what if two people you’ve heard of are cheating on their spouses? Why is it your responsibility to announce it to the world?
Besides, don’t assume that the spouses of the cheaters don’t already know. Some people have “arrangements” and others have unspoken agreements in which Spouse A will screw anything that moves and Spouse B is fine with that as long as Spouse A brings home a big fat paycheck. (I have witnessed of “unspoken agreements” between lawyers I know and their trophy wives, unfortunately. Not pretty.)
Going around nosing in other people’s business like this is a good way to get your tires slashed, or worse. Don’t do it!
How do you know you won’t be doing more harm than good? The answer is you can’t know.
Give other people their right to privacy. It’s not your concern.
Mind your own business.
Haj
Ok, a few years ago I learned that my mother was having an affair. I learned this by answering the phone at an unfortunate moment. I was, and am, hurt and upset that no one informed me of this (there were other people that knew but didn’t tell me).
I’m 17 at the moment if you are curious.
This is just my personal experience with the matter. I wouldn’t tell, not because it isn’t any of your business but because you could be wrong. If the situation seemed like it could be really painful to the rest of the families if left untouched, I’d say do something about it. But if there is no immediate harm (no diseases, hidden plans to leave family members financially shipwrecked) leave it be.
It’s a crappy world.
If you “don’t know them personally” stay well out of it. If they were close friends, relatives or similar it might be different story. Despite the cheated on SOs “right to know” there is rarely an upside for the exposer and often a huge, and sometimes dangerous, downside. In the real world balance, your right to safety and privacy outweighs their right to know.
So you rat on them… they break up and a few weeks later they are back together… who was the reason for their break up and hurt feelings? YOU !
Its not your problem. Ratting on means you get the bad rap… and people will find out it was you… or think it was you eventually.
Women get all worked up with cheating... but getting all worked up about others people's affairs ! Come on.... shame on you. Get a lover yourself instead of peeking at these two.Keep schtum and bug out.
Another MYOB checking in.
There’s just no upside to telling them, too many potentially catastrophic results for what? So you get to sleep undisturbed? Walk away.
Run. Don’t walk…run away.
I knew of a situation where a close friend was cheating. His wife point blank asked me what I knew. I told her she knew her husband better than me and she probably needed to talk to him.
He ended up pissed at me because he said that I told his wife too much. He lied and wormed his way back to her and she overlook his affair (again) and he took her off on a romantic trip.
She ended up not believing me and thinking he was wonderful.
AFAIK he is still cheating and she blindly turns her eye to it.
Mind your own business for your own sake.
Actually, the reason for the breakup would be the result of the cheaters’ actions.
The herpes reason stated by Violin D’Ingrate sounds good to me!
I’d figure out 1 of the 2 parties email address, sign up with hotmail as “freddy2fingers”, and anonymously tell one of them what’s up.
It seems to me, the only reason that they’d get mad at you is because of bad planning on their part for not covering up the affair well enough. They have to blame someone other than themselves (stupid). That would be selfish as fuck for someone to put the blame on the messenger. And to anyone who’s blamed it on the messenger in their lives, why? It wasn’t their fault, it was yours! Dumbass! If your not satisified in your current relationship, and mess around for say, 2 days or more, you need to break it off with your original relationship before you cause heartbreak on everyone involved.
I’m wondering why people think the spouses who are being cheated on are so stupid. Chances are they already know. If the news has filtered down to strangers like the OP, you think the spouses aren’t going to realize something’s up? Puhleze.
I’d say this: Say something if & only if you’re sure that you could handle the reprecussions of one or both of them (“them” being the married couple) hating you, & all that would entail. 'Cause while it’s comforting to think that you may save someone heartbreak, you may also be loathed for showing someone something they didn’t want to see.