Who else is liking their jobs working on computers a whole lot more right now?
let’s see: edit, copy, cut, paste. yeah, i’m good w/ that.
WARNING: STORY MAY INSTIGATE MASSIVE LUNCH-TOSSING !!
When I was a 12 year old kid, I helped to deliver a shitload of little pigs. Interesting, because pigs have 2 wombs. So you stick your arm in, say, halfway up till the elbow, and then take a left or right at the junction 
The gross part ? One of the little piggies I helped deliver had died in the womb and lay there in my hands, a-rottin’ and a-smellin’.
You may all throw up now.
Coldfire: second to none but Satan.
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
You know it’s going to be a bad day on your job as a security guard when your company sends out a Quality Control Inspector who gets to the post 15 minutes ahead of you, while the person you’re going to relieve is still on duty–and nobody told you beforehand the company even HAD QCI’s; and to make matters worse, you’ve forgotten your uniform badge!!
Oooooooo – a man in uniform. Um um um.
(Coming from one of the oldest posters here, just wanted to contribute to the gross out.)
my brother’s dog might have kidney stones, and since both of my parents were at work and I never bothered to get a job while home between semesters, I had the misfortune of driving the dog’s urine sample to the vet.
while that may not quite measure up to some of the other things posted here, it’s still pretty gross.
“I’m just too much for human existence – I should be animated.”
–Wayne Knight
Kind of a work story. This happened when I was singing in a rock band that played bars and clubs.
It was about a half-hour to an hour before we were to go on, just finishing up sound check, putting away extra lights, cases and that sort of stuff – cleaning up.
The drummer’s wife at that time, a petite little thing, was trying to help. She grabbed this big, bulky, heavy bass guitar case off this ledge kind of above her head, as I was walking up behind her. The weight caused it to swing back, catching me squarely in the nuts. I bent down and cried out, causing her to turn around suddenly and bap me right in the face with said case.
Got a very profusely bloody nose, and barely made it on in time to sing.
Kind of a Three Stooges moment in my life, and a bad start to the ‘work day.’
“You had me at ‘Hell no.’”
Well, when I was a lad we had all of these sheep, and one day me younger brother accidentally turned the wrong gate, and herded the sheep into the pen with the cattle . . . and, um . . . well . . . um . . . there wasn’t a whole lot of room in there . . . and, um . . .
Never mind. It wasn’t pretty.
Dr. Watson
“That, plus the asparagus . . .”
Hey, who wants to hear about the time I spent an hour and a half giving mouth to mouth resuscitation to a guy who had just died of AIDS-related tuberculosis? This is one of the advantages of working in a prison; I can usually top anybody’s “bad day at the office” story.
(Meanwhile the Houston dopers are saying; “Dear God! We invited this man to meet us for dinner!”)