You know you love it, you know you want it, you little tease.

Yeah, I know you’ve been neglected for a while. I know I should have given it to you more frequently. But all that’s changed now. I have turned over a new leaf.

You love it. You love it. So stop being a prima donna about it, putting up those fake phony protestations. You start drooling, for crying out loud, every time I start in. And you could leave, you know. At any time. I won’t stop you from leaving. But you stay. When you see me coming towards you with that glint in my eye, you just stick around and don’t even attempt to leave. So you are fooling no one. You love it. You arch you back when I start in and you LOVE it, so stop denying it.

Yeah, I know, I’m doing it a few times a day right now, and that will taper off to about 1 time a day or every other day. So enjoy it while you can. Stop acting like I’ve invaded your personal space. Because we all know you freakin’ LOVE it.

The only problem is, now that the others see that you’re getting it several times a day, they’ll want it too. I don’t know what I’m going to do about that.

Damned hairy cat. I never can seem to brush and groom you enough. No matter how much I brush you, you still have MORE hair and MORE shedding! What is that all about? And what is it with your tail? My gosh, I could weave a carpet from the hair shed from your tail alone.

Yeah, sure. YosemitebabeCatCarpets.committee. It’s a rather labor-intensive way to make a living.

I have often thought that I could open an upholstery shop without ever having to pay for materials. My dog’s hair could easily stuff a zillion cushions or something.
It’s everywhere!
On the other hand, I cannot commit murder ever! The fiber evidence would be impossible for even Inspector Closeau to miss.

My dogs are just the opposite. I can paralyze them with one wave of the grooming brush. They even love the rake brush used to clean the burrs out from behind their ears.

All I have to do is say “who wants groomed?” and they fall out in a state of catatonia.

That’s my hubby Thom on the left, he grooms himself, Buck is the big wooly thing in the middle and he sheds about five pounds of fur a season. Jake on the right has a very short coat but he insists on being groomed just as much.

Awww…what a cute picture, The Mermaid!

Yes, it never ceases to amaze me how our animals produce so much hair.

Spooky (the cat in question) is such a weirdo. He earned his name “Spooky” for a reason. He’s an ancient Siamese and he likes to feign offense at being brushed, but he loves it SO much. He hopes to delude me into thinking that he doesn’t really like it, he’s just tolerating it. Yeah right. The profuse drooling and the arching of his back are really fooling me.

It took several days of almost constant brushing to get him to the point where I can pet him without getting a handful of hair on my hand. I’d neglected him woefully before, and he looked a mess. Now I’m making up for it!

I have a friend at work who has an akita dog. The dog sheds so much hair, that I suggested she and her husband blow the dog hair into the wall to serve as insulation. I told her that their heating and coolling bills will be cut by at least half!

Hold on to your horses, folks! There actually is a use for all of that excess dog hair!! The answer to your prayers is: Weaving your dog’s hair into a sweater!

Yes! You could be wearing a sweater made out of your dog’s hair at this very moment! You could be reclining against a woven cushion made of your beloved pet’s sheddings! Why delay! Weave today!

(Suggestion to those with sensitive olfactory nerves: do not wear dog-hair sweater if it’s raining.)

I can’t figure out how our chihuahua does it. She has almost no hair on her. Brushing her causes about 6 hairs 1/8" in length to attach themselves to the brush.

But our apartment is ankle deep in dog hair??!

I swear she stores it in hidden hair vaults where it draws hairy interest and then distributes the accruals at midnight when we aren’t looking.

Perhaps she’s having rockin’ doggy parties when you’re not home. You know, the whole crew comes over. . . Muffin brings Milk Bones, Rex brings his Snoop Doggy Dog albums, and Blackie springs for a case of Alpo.

I’m glad to hear there are other short-haired dog owners out there who go through this, too. Our dog is a short haired mutt, and not particularly big. Yet the day after I do a thorough vacuming, the house is awash in huge drifts of dog hair.

I personally think she has doggy parties here when we are out, and invites the longest haired dogs she can.

Cat, schmat. Who needs one? I have a pony tail. You’d be amazed at how much hair I, personally, shed…

Ahem.

Poodles do not shed. My standard poodle, fifty pounds of lapdog, leaves no hair on the carpet, walls, or anywhere else.

You may all hate me now.

E-Sabbath: We hate you, we hate you!

Spooky is short-haired, and yet he sheds more than some long-haired cats. And Missy, my delicate little short-haired kitty—she daintily sheds just a little bit. So what’s Spooky’s excuse? I swear, I had to brush his feet and a lot of hair came off of them! And his tail is still a source of much hair—no matter how much I brush!

Lovely, making knitwear out of dog hair. I saw that on a TV program once, can’t remember which one though (sorry). The lady had even knitted her dog a jumper out of it’s own hair.

Surely that can’t be good, it’s got to eventually form some dog-hair version of BSE, right?