You know you're far from home when...

…more than once, I’ve run into people that have never heard of my homestate (and Euty’s current home) Rhode Island. Now, I’ve had people confuse it with Long Island, but this was a totally new one on me…

True story. I was on my way to work one day last week, and pulled into the gas station nearest me in San Jose. I go up to pay the attendant so I can get my gas and go to work, completely unaware of the events that were about to transpire.

The attendant sees my license plate and looks puzzled. He says: “Rhody Island? What’s that?”

Aghast, I say, “It’s a state on the East Coast. Kinda up north… you’ve never heard of it?” He shakes his head and says “No… so it’s an island? Where is it?” Again, I say “No. No, it’s not an island, sir. It’s a state. The smallest state in the US. It’s near Massachusetts, you know, like Boston? And Connecticut. That show on NBC, Providence takes place there?” I shake my head in wonder.

“There’s an island near Boston? Huh. Weird” he says. So I try once more. “No, no, it’s not an island. It’s a state near Massachusetts. It’s attached. Not an island. One of the original thirteen colonies? The last one? It’s name comes from the Isle of Rhodes in Greece. It’s not really an island though. It’s just the name.”

To my complete and utter despair, just as I thought I was maybe making some headway in my fight against ignorance, he says “Oh. It’s near Greece. I see.” I threw up my hands and smiled.

The poor guy looked like his head was going to explode. The man in line behind me chuckled and said “Bet you’ve never felt this far from home before.” Agreed, man… agreed.

Oh. I thought it’s where red chickens came from.

You ask for Collared Greens and they look at you strange…

No matter where you try, you can’t get sweet tea.

More signs I’m far from home:

The ocean is on the wrong side.
No coffee milk. People are appalled at the idea.
Hellman’s mayonaise is Best Foods mayonaise.
Edie’s ice cream is Dreyers.
No Del’s lemonade.

Ah-HA! See!? I TOLD you that would be freaky. But you didn’t believe me, did you? :smiley:

three things i miss about rhode island that no one outside of the place seems to have heard of:

rhode island style clam chowder- the best, nothing else comes close. (recipe hounds, ask and you shall receive.)

coffee milk made with autocrat syrup.

rhode island wieners.

portuguese sweet bread, whoops thats four.

stuffies made with linguisa- whoops thats five.

blessing of the fleet, whoops thats six.

misquamicut beach- whoops, thats seven.

im not from rhode island, but im close, my moms grew up in stonington, right next door, you see. i’ll stop now.

Hey, you don’t know about people not knowing you’re a state until you live in New Mexico.

I’ve had friends tell me that UPS made them pay out of U.S. delivery rates to send me things. On trips when my wife and I would tell people where we were from, we would regularlly get statements like, “We’ve always wanted to visit there,…where can I get a visa?” or “What shots do I need to be able to get in?” or “I’m so afraid of the language barrier.”

Even the government got into the act. When a community near the one we were living at the time requested a VISTA volunteer to help with a problem from a D.C. agency, they were told VISTA dealt with domestic issues. The community should contact Peace Corps. That was the group dealing with towns in foreign countries.

Oh, and yes, I’ve heard the George Carlin rant: “If it’s not new and not Mexico, why do they call it New Mexico?”

Thousands of times…

These can be found in the San Francisco area. I don’t know what “stuffies” are, but we have linguisa!

hey sassy, you are right, they do do the blessing of the fleet out here, its just not a huge party like it is in westerly, with the clams and pork cooked in beer prepared in great big ol garbage cans, and everybody gets drunk, with the possible exception of the vatican bigwig they haul over to do this thing.

i have found something called hawaiian sweet bread, which again is a reasonable facsimile of portuguese sweet bread, with little of the savor of the stuff back home.

and, i must regret to inform you, that the linguisa advertised here in tne bay area has little to no resemblance to the linguisa there, most notably gaspar’s. its terrible.


People ask you what grits are. When you explain they are grossed out.

They always ask how Mickey Mouse is doing.

They stare because you don’t have a tan.

Can’t find good spanish food.

Yeah Morphy, but the Dreyers/Edies thing threw me more. You’d warned me about the Great Mayonaise Switch™, and I don’t eat much mayonaise. Seeing the familiar Edies container with the name Dreyers… now that was just wrong.

And something else I’ve noticed. On the East Coast, in our Chinese restaurants, we have lo mein. It’s different than chow mein; less beansprouts, more noodles… but I have yet to see it out here. Do Californians not eat lo mein? Odd… I seem to remember that chow mein is different in different places, maybe it’s the same deal.

Mmm, sweetbread… I lived in Fall River for a while, so I hear that… not a big fan of stuffies in any shape or form. Eew.

I won’t even start on how bad I’m jonesing for a decent bagel… :wink:

[sub]I honestly do love living in the Bay Area though, I just like poking fun like a snobby Yank.[/sub]

Ah, what I wouldn’t give for a grinder and a cabinet.

Or to hear the proper terms applied to my vehicle, as in “Hey, you can’t pahk that cah heah!” Followed by the inevitable string of imaginative expletives.

Or, (and at this my heart’s aquiver), to hear the mating calls of the North Providence Couple… “Hey, Vonda!” “Hey, Vichit!”

But then, it is 80 degrees outside, and sunny, and there’s two Thai restaurants in walking distance… I think I’ll live.

fall reev’! now thats linguisa country!

Well, I admit, Rhode Island is a remote state. But I’m from VERMONT! Do you know how many people ask me what state Vermont is in? A lot!

It seems only people from New England and New York know that Vermont is a state.

Not to mention that when they HAVE heard of the state (and actually know it’s a state) they assume I must live on a farm, own cows, etc…I don’t. Never have I, nor will I.

A few people even thought that Vermont must be in Canada. Ignorance about one’s country to that extent should be illegal.

A friend of mine was driving cross-country with a few other friends. They stop in some mid-western bar/club. A good song comes on so my girlfriend starts to dance with her friend (who happens to also be female). They are showered with lemon wedges from the other “clubbers” drinks.

Because two girls can’t dance together in the mid-west. Things like this can make you long for home.

Heh, I forgot grinders and cabinets… and how could I ever forget the famous bubbler? Or, in Rhode Island accent, “bubbla”.


Oh, man … why bother?

Eh, this may be un-Rhodylike of me, but I was never a Del’s fan. I remember it from when I was a kid… on really hot days the wax on the cups would melt and get all oily and waxy and the bits of lemon ooged me out. If they made it without the bits, now that might tempt me… so no great loss there. But I can imagine if I tried to order a cabinet. Heehee!

[mini hijack]
Well, I really felt far away from home when I went to japan… where in america would you find porno in vending machines? Cheap, too.
[/mini hijack]