You know you are old when you preface every statement with “Remember when…”.
You know you are getting old, when you feel old…
When you realize that you are the age your grandfather was when he died.
I’ve been thinking about this recently. I’m about to pass one grandfather in longevity. A few more years to pass the second. But passing the grandmothers is going to take a good while. Probably won’t pass one of them.
A thing that goes along with this is that I have memories of people who were born in the 1800s … and they weren’t that old.
One: mystery pains - for no apparent reason, out of the blue, a specific part of your body hurts for a couple of days, and then the pain just disappears.
Two: clumsiness and/or memory - when something of this nature happens you wonder and worry if this is the start of something bad
The very first warning sign: The Playmate of he Month is younger than you are.
That’s nothing. A 21 year old Playmate when you are 22 isn’t anything.
Now, when the Playmate of the Month is younger than your youngest kid…
Some of the people I grew up with have GREAT-grandchildren. Granted, this required 3 generations of very young parents, but still…
You see a cute girl and remind yourself “Not only is she too young for me, so’s her mom…”
Then you do the math and wonder if her grandmother’s available (hey, bet that girl has pictures of Granny on her phone…).
I’m 44. I’m convinced I’m starting to get age spots on my hands. I know my hands, and these faded brown spots are new!
I notice all the local grocery stores and thrift shops here play a surprising number of songs by The Pixies.
This is how we used to let the party start
We’d mix in with Bacardi Dark
And by the sixth gun we could hardly talk…
Very few people know their hands. When you ask people to pick out the back of their hands from a bunch of photos, only about ten percent do better than chance.
When the guy in the liquor store doesn’t ask for proof of being over 18. (I actually asked a couple of them “Wouldn’t you like to see my ID?”, eliciting polite chuckles – probably thinking “Another old f*rt”.)
I watch my Grandson navigate an Ipad or an Android Tablet with equal dexterity despite not being able to read yet.
On a video call on messenger recently, he got into the setting and started adding effects that neither his Aunt or I could figure out how to turn off.
Other evidence is not being able to trust a fart, standing up and stretching is like a castanet solo, and realising that 1980 is closer to 1945 than to 2022.
“I just farted and now I’m afraid to move.”
Walter Matthau - shown in the outtakes from one of the Walter Matthau/Jack Lemmon movies.
Which brings to mind, you watch Grumpy Old Men and think how the characters resemble your friends. Then you start to think how you yourself resemble the characters.
Technically, Debbie Gibson has been retired a long time.
Our local town puts on a good New Years Eve in the park (in Australia, so it’s middle of summer). Live music, food tents etc - lots of people to see and talk to.
And on the flyer -
‘Fireworks at Midnight. For those of you with very young children, there will also be a firework display at 9.30, so they can get home to bed’.
Hmm. OK.
I suspect that a celebrity getting an invitation to be on the AARP cover must be as bad as when we get the first AARP mail… if not worse
There are a few young people at my job. Also smattering of people around my age-ish, thankfully, but some just-out-of-college folks.
A couple days ago there was a song on the radio in the shop. I said “Hey! This is the first song I downloaded on Napster!”
Co-worker 1: “Cool, I’ve heard of that. How did it work?”
Co-worker 2: “What’s Napster?”
Napster still exists, although you have to pay for it now. Anyway, a lot sure can happen in 20 years.