You rotten sons of bitches. I’ve been coveting this neglected collection of spoken word records, history of jazz and R&B and folk music for years. I waited patiently as the collection was moved into the fucking stairwell. When the word came around that the whole thing would finally be pitched, I culled and weeded what I could afford to save from landfill.
You dirty motherfuckers. After keeping an eye on this stuff for five years, during which time as far as I know nobody else was paying any attention to it, and babysitting it for two months, you come along just three days before this shit is officially mine and bear it away to where it can be neglected by the English department until they decide to throw it away.
I understand perfectly why the English Department would be concerned about the Spoken Word collection. But, where the fuck was the English Department when they ditched the audio tapes? We lost Chaucer, Milton, Hawthorne, Pasternak. I didn’t see anybody swoop in and rescue any of that shit. They pulled the shit out of my reserves shelves and didn’t bother to mention it to me.
I have an idea. Why don’t we put the records back up on the shelves under the stairwell, and you fatherless apes can spend all of your 15-minute breaks for a month sweating in the dank alcove, weeding through the collection in the dark? Oh, but I confess I did leave behind some obscure Portugese poetry. Maybe you’ve heard of these guys, so if you want them, feel free to do the work yourselves.