Oh…and I forgot to add:
“Oklahoma? Why does this not surprise me?”
I woukd.
I’d giggle like a motherfucker and double her tip.
That would really take some colossal chutzpah.
Doesn’t bother me that it isn’t common. Although, to form a more informed opinion, can someone provide a literal translation of “Allah al Akbar, As sallam u alaikum”? Can it be interpreted as non-denominationally as “God Bless, You”? Or does it suggest any sentiment that the deity should be related to specifically from a Muslim perspective?
I think it translates along the lines of “God is great and peace be with you.”
But as Average Joe American, I don’t know that.
A waitress (or waiter) really only has one job, and that’s to make her customers as happy as she can. Writing “God Bless You” on the ticket can be a risk, and I think the majority of waitstaff inclined to write it at all realize that.
So either a) she’s religious enough that she doesn’t care about the slight loss in tips or b) enough IHOP customers appreciate it that they outweigh people like your friend who, by the by, is a jackass.
I think there’s two parts to this question:
- Was writing “God bless you” rude?
- And if so, what tip is it fair to withhold from a rude but competent server?
I think your friend was wrong, as normally “God bless you” is a nice expression of “wish you well”, so little cause to be offended. But I can sort of see why it could get tiring if he gets that sort of thing all the time. Compare it to, say, a gay man who’s constantly being told “I hope you find a nice girl soon”, for instance: it’s a nice wish, but very misplaced, and going to annoy.
I don’t know.
A way to get your displeasure across is to tip two cents, and leave a note, besides talking to the manager. Just about all servers know that the customer is not being cheap or forgetful when a two cent tip is left. I might have confronted the waitress or not, depending on my schedule and mood. She’d get the very minimum tip from me, assuming that everything else was satisfactory, unless I happened to have a Chick tract in my possession, in which case I might leave the tract, since she obviously values God’s blessing. In any case, I’d mention it to the manager either in person or by snail mail.
Would your friend have been upset if the waitress had said “Goodbye” as he was leaving? You know what that’s short for, don’t you?
What happens when your friend sneezes in public?
Friend: A-CHOO!
Innocent bystander: Bless you!
Friend: :mad:
I’m praying for him…
And how, exactly, does saying “God bless you” amount to evangelism?
Yes, and saying “God bless you” is one of them. There is nothing in that statement which indicates which religion she belongs to–or even if she professes any particular religion. All it indicates is that she believes in some sort of God–assuming, of course, that she didn’t just mean it as some generic gesture of politeness.
You took my answer.
If she had said “Jesus died for your sins” I would have been offended.
If she had said “God Bless you” even, I would have taken it as the equivalant of “Have a nice day”. She’s only wishing me well, after all.
After my son had been in kindergarten for a few weeks, he sneezed and informed me that I should bless him. When I asked why, he said, “because if you don’t, I have to say excuse me.”
Worked for me. Sometimes you can read too much into something.
I’d write on the check, “My post is my tip.” 
That is not a nice wish.
It is a wish for someone to change and conform to another’s ideology.
It would be like walking up to an interracial couple and saying to either of them:
I hope you find a nice [insert ethnicity] [insert gender] soon.
It is offensive and presumptuous.
That is different than the op issue with the waitress and the check.
I think people should keep religion, politics, and other personal things to themselves unless they are in a situation where those things are being discussed.
I no more want to hear about anyone’s religion than I do anyone’s sexual exploits of who they’re going to vote for.
So much for my post about that night with Dennis Kucinich…
Geeze, Mockingbird, you seem really tense and short temp[ered lately. I hope you find a nice girl soon, to help ease your stress levels.
Yes, that’s your feeling. Not your friends. And you knew that too. Don’t you see how you paying his tip as well effectively cancels his ‘protest’. Wouldn’t that make you angry if someone did that to you?
He told you he wasn’t tipping, and he explained why. Just because you don’t agree (and for what it’s worth, I agree with you), doesn’t give you the right to override his choice.
Thanks for illustrating my point.
You’ve now made a remark that inflicts a belief that I need a woman and that my mate of choice should be what you presume rather than what I desire.
Further, you’ve patronized and condesended in what looks like an attempt to elicit a flame.
If it was an attempt at humor or sarcasm, it failed miserably. If it was an attempt to offend, you got your wish.
The blessing! Ahhh! It burn like fire!
I would be miffed at any friend who didn’t tip a waitress for any reason outside of overt, outright hostility. It puts me in an uncomfortable position, and it’s poor manners to do so to someone you’re dining with. You were put in the position of either joining in the (non)holy crusade and feeling like a tool for stiffing a competent and pleasant waitress, or covering their portion of the tip and getting your ass eaten out for it in the car later. Your friend had no right to make his point at your expense.
The only time I can remember ever deliberately not tipping a waitress, it was but unanimous consent of the entire table that our waitress was wholly undeserving of one.
>Theist checking in. It’s not a matter of language or religion, period. It’s a matter of someone wishing me well, being friendly. I don’t have to agree with someone’s religion to understand good intent.
But it’s not that simple.
Not too many years ago, even after the Civil Rights movement had made some progress, I’d still people say “That’s white of you” as a way of expressing appreciation and being friendly. Trouble is, that’s not the only message there. If the racist part of the message offends the recipient, it is hurtful, even if the person speaking - and society at large at that time - understands good intent. Even if the recipient understands the good intent also.
Likewise, complementing a female colleague on how pretty she is may be a complement, but hardly a welcomed one if she is trying hard to accomplish good work and be taken seriously.
I find the religious component of the OP’s written message truly offensive and hurtful. It reminds me that as an athiest I could never be president, or in some states never even legally hold public office. It reminds me that something like a third of Americans do not believe the right of free speech should be extended to people with my religious beliefs. It reminds me that I had to pledge allegiance to a country under God, had to lie in public every morning. Can you imagine that being offensive?
What I would have done is pay a standard tip, ignoring the message, thinking about the other aspects of the service, and just accepted the message as well intended. But, then, if I were Black, or female, I would probably have gone along with what Society gave me, and would have contributed little to a very important and valuable cause, because I’d try to be reasonable and understanding.
So along with other insightful and useful posts, I’d like to add that I also have to be thankful for your friend.
Well, if i got a check with “God bless you” on it, i’d roll my eyes (to myself), and pay the bill with the usual tip. People who say that this has nothing to do with religion are kidding themselves (why not write “Have a nice day” or “Thankyou” on the check?), but i still don’t think it merits the sort of vitriol your friend displayed.
I would place your friend in a similar category to Christians who leave tracts instead of money because they don’t believe in tipping. Well, fuckers, if you don’t believe in tipping, stay at home and cook for your fucking selves.