I work at a small podiatric school and so we have a house keeping department. The whole department is cool except for Numb Nuts. Numb Nuts always wears a hat pulled down so low he has to tilt his head back to look at someone…that’s if you even get a response. He’s a god damn zombie or something.
Yesterday evening, just before I was going home, Numb Nuts knock on my office door and asks if he can clean the top of my door. “Sure. You can clean whatever you’d like.” So Numb Nuts proceeds to wipe the top of my door, with a rag. Now there’s these huge dust aggregates scattered all over the entrance of my office doorway. It literally looked as though someone came along and dropped a dusty fan grill right in front of my door. Fuck it, I’m going to leave soon. I’m sure he’ll come back around with a vaccuum and take care of the mess later.
Skip to this morning. I walk into my office and to my amazement the dust is still there. WHAT THE MUTHERFUCK!! Wait. It’s too early to get pissed. So I just fan it all into the hallway. Now Friday is the day I usually clean my anatomy lab, but since there were no wet labs this week I didn’t have anything to do. So I head down to the lab…just to be sure. When I get down there what do I see? All five entrance/exits have dust balls (jet black)the size of fucking Gibralter scattered all around them!!! FUCKING NUMB NUTS!!! I can’t believe this idiot wiped dust off the top of a door, which is completely out of site, and then just left it all over the floor, IN PLAIN VIEW!!! This is the day we also give tours to prospective students. “And this is our anatomy lab. Let me go in first and then I’ll throw you rope so you can climb over these dust balls.” This guy kills me!
But do I tell his boss? No. Do I clean it up myself? Yes. Know why? Because if you want it done right, you’ve gotta do it your god damn self!! Fuck with me again Numb Nuts and I’m going to stick Clostridium perfringens encrusted thumbtacks in your eyes. Then I’m going to use a medicine dropper to drop melted lead on your lips. After that I’m going to give you an elephant’s enema, then plug your straining asshole with some baby shoes. Just before you pass out, from the building pressure and pain in your bowels, I’m going to take an acetylene torch and cut hole in your belly. Then sit back and watch you become a shit fountain. Oh yeah, and then throw a quarter at your punk ass and make a wish.
And in the process you ensure that his negative behavior patterns (which he likely does not even realize are problems) will be enforced and not at all discouraged.
If the other options are 1) futilely gripe to an unresponsive zombie or 2) having a stroke over a dust-buffalo, I’d think 3) complaining to the boss would be a pretty reasonable option.
Given the organization’s need for neatness, picking up hunks of dust is part of that zombie’s job definition. Doesn’t do the job? Get someone else who will.
Sounds like an appropriate punishment for somebody who hyphenates the goddam thread title so it won’t wrap, thus ensuring the whole thread list is fucked up.
Your topic title was a bit long. I didn’t change it for aesthetic reasons but a few people have mentioned to me that it made them have to scroll horizontally to read the page. It’s all that hyphenation.