You People Are Boned – I Told You To Watch You’re A**es (Parody)

I’ve read through half a million threads in which poster after poster confidently promises Bush administration tax cuts and foreign policy will produce “economic recovery”, happier and “safer Americans”, “a democratic Middle East” and similar hopeful exclamations.

After suspension of the election in November 2008, posting a thread like this might well be met with… well, with suspension of my contract with my ISP and a search warrant for my house and business. Pretty exciting :eek:

I could present you all with printed copies of what I’ve been saying, but the Political Hate Speech Act of 2007 (the “Rove Act”) will criminalize that activity, and I don’t have any of your mailing addresses anyway.

So I’ll post this thread so that some hapless future functionary can have something of mine to expunge from the electronic record. The people who enthusiastically supported the “War on Terror”, who claimed that such a war demanded increased executive powers, rote suspicion of citizens, shortcuts through judicial roadblocks, etc. etc., who bemoaned social responsibility and the tyranny of a progressive tax structure, etc. etc … all were projecting YOUR fears onto the electorate as a whole. In fact, the electorate sucked up the Administration line as eagerly as you helped shovel it out. Bush hardly had to work at all, beyond showing a bit of folksy charm now and then, to advance the principles of economic elitism, environmental rape, faith-based governance and Petroleo-Imperialism. The whole agenda was pushed through, with your help. And this isn’t hindsight talking; I saw it years ago, I see it today. And I use the past tense to describe a future event because I’m writing for the government censor who will one day delete this post.

If you don’t see it today, then I suggest you are too out of touch with your inner paranoid conspiracist. We can discuss the issue back and forth all you like (at least until that Rove Act passes). But on No Election Day, 2008, I’ll be remembering this thread in whatever hovel I’m currently using as a hideout, chuckling weakly between random twitches and my “episodes”.

  • Tom

Shouldn’t you link to the original post by Bricker?

Anyway, good one. It had to be said. The Bush administration is a contributing factor to the fact that I never wrote my GREs before finding a PhD school. There are a lot of good Americans, but none of them are running the country, that’s for fucking sure.

Ah, sorry; link. (Apologies for the “you’re/your” typo in the thread title as well.)

Ha! You’re one of the lucky ones. At least you didn’t get rounded up and prosecuted under the “Terrorists and other Subversives Detention Act” for the crime of voting in the '08 Democratic primary. C.R.E.E.P. (formerly Diebold) was only too eagar to provide the poll’s roles.

Lucky Bastid.

I for one would just like to say “thanks” to the Dear Leader for everything he has done for America, and more importantly, for me. Three years of faith-based reeducation has shown me the error of my ways for doubting the power of God and the federal government.

The weather downrange of Los Alamos is excellent and it’s the perfect motivating environment for reform. Nothing but blue skies and glassy sand. And thanks to President-for-Life Bush raising the upper limit for the draft to age 54, I’ll soon be able to do my part repelling the evil CRIMEE invaders.* St. Louis shall be free!
*China, Russia, Islam, Madagascar, and Everyone Else

Let us not forget his myriad contributions to world relations; why, it seems only yesterday that we liberated Britain, and saved all those poor fellows from the tyranny of a government not entirely slaved to special interests.

And if you think about it, this new treaty with the Islamic Confederation is really thanks to him too; I mean if he had allowed Iraq to remain the most powerful state in the region, and not created a massive power vacuum, that Sheik Yassein would never have taken over the Mid-East and offered us this lovely treaty!

Vive Le Canada Librggchfgjsfhlgdjlhg —

Me, sorry.

We have never been at war with Eurasia. We have always been at war with East Asia. Eurasia our our allies. Eurasia have always been our allies. People who say we used to be at war with Eurasia are lying criminal scum.