I’m supposed to pick up one son at the movie theater right before nine, so if I don’t answer he’ll probably call his brother. It’s likely he’d come downstairs and discover my corpse. If younger son decides to just go for ice cream when I don’t show up my wife should be home by 9:30 or so. We’re talking a couple hours tops. The cats will be really pissed off if I kick the bucket now, since 8:00 is their usual feeding time. The dog has already been fed, so she’d be fine for a while.
At this precise moment, 3 hours. And probably closer to 1.
Thinking about it over my entire lifespan, probably the longest would be a weekend plus a day or so. Even at times like this winter when my wife was on a long vacation out of town, my employees would have come looking pretty quickly if I didn’t show up and didn’t text. I can’t imagine things getting to Tuesday before they called the police or knocked a door down.
I’d be found quite soon after I died (I got 2 pre-teens, and they pass by me many times a day on my Barcalounger), but it could be a week or more until they realized I wasn’t just taking a nap.
I suppose it would be our schnoodle dog chewing off my toes that may tip them off.
One or two weeks.
If I don’t show up at work tomorrow, they won’t notice. My day off. So, if I die now, 40 hours or so. Kids won’t call this week as they don’t need money.
Did we not just have this thread? A month ago maybe? We seem quite obsessed with death on the Dope. :o
5-10 minutes. I’ve got the codes to all of my son’s electronic devices. 
I am also curious about this. Wasn’t there that incident where the pilots over-flew their destination because they were surfing teh interwebz? Not that we want to get you in trouble, just curious how the rules are set up these days.
Or, you know, whoosh.
I once hired someone who worked one day and never returned. I just sort of shrugged and moved on without her.
Weeks later she showed up and complained about my indifference. She explained that she had anxiety issues; that was why she didn’t show up. But she was upset that I didn’t care enough to come knocking at her door. It never crossed my mind.
She left and never returned. Never picked up her eight hours pay.
I’m with the husband all day pretty much - so unless we were sleeping, he’d notice right away.
No, I take that back - if he were in the same room with me but reading the paper, he’d notice when he was done with the newspaper, wanted a beer, or the phone rang. 
I live alone, and am retired. For its being discovered that I’d died: probably a toss-up between my (fairly inquisitive) next-door neighbours becoming aware of the stench; and one or other of my brothers – with both of whom I’m in fairly frequent touch – noticing “no communication / response”, and investigating.
Well, aren’t you just a little ray of sunshine this morning!?!?
Considering I’m at work, the longest time would be less than an hour. I’m eating lunch at my desk, though the other two guys in my office leave for lunch. So, worst case scenario would be me dropping dead exactly when the other guys leave.
So, an hour tops.
I’m at home and my husband just stepped out for a cigarette. This smoke could last as long as 8 minutes if he just smoked and came back in to answer what he wants to do tonight. (its his birthday tomorrow!) Or, if he stops to play his phone game or feed the animals (pigs, chickens, add water, hose off the patio, put the hose away) it could be about 50 minutes.
I’m lucky he’s not out of town tonight. My son just started back up with him and after not answering the phone he would discover my dead body probably about 6 hours from now.
If I died at home I would be found when Ms. JShark woke up from one of her daily catnaps.
If I died in my office on a Friday afternoon I’d probably be found 12 or so hours later when someone realized where I might reasonably be.
If I died when the Ms. was out of town I wouldn’t be found, since I’d be recycled into dog food quite quickly.
Once, when I lived alone and didn’t regularly check in with anybody, I almost choked to death on a piece of pizza. The cheese did that rubbery cling-to-throat thing and it took a good 30 seconds to fish it out.
Hmmm…I live alone and don’t entertain tons of visitors at home. So assuming I have nothing social scheduled at my house at the time…
If it is a work day AND I am working with someone else that day, probably a matter of hours since my co-worker is also a friend of mine and would be concerned. If it is a work day that I work alone, there would be concern but probably not as big of a rush - maybe a day or two. If it is my long weekend AND I am doing nothing social that weekend, maybe a few days. Long enough for the cats to start eating me, perhaps :).
Because myself and my parents live in the same house and get on well as a family, I’d say no more than a couple of hours.
Though tomorrow I am set to go out on a day trip with my family, so if it happened then, the answer would be immediately.
More likely that they would think you’re starting to smell bad and drag you to the cat box to bury you under kitty litter. That’s not such a bad way to be interred, perhaps even noble.
Either way, eaten by, or buried by, your cats, you’re going to end up in that cat box under kitty litter. So you might as well start shopping for a small cat box head stone right now.
Right now? I’m at home and I live alone, so it might be Monday morning before anyone missed me. I don’t check in with my family regularly, and my neighbor might notice if I don’t pick up my newspaper tomorrow morning. Some of my co-workers would text me if I didn’t come in Monday and if I didn’t answer they’d probably get worried.
My 91 year old mother would call the cops if I don’t call her often enough, so maybe 48 hours.
And she’s done it before…
My kids are here, so instantly.
If they were unable to summon help, then I’d expect no more than 12 hours. Probably by dinner time, so maybe six hours.
I used to worry about this incessantly when I lived alone with a newborn.
My wife would probably not notice for at least 12 hours. Unfortunately, I think my daughter would find me in a couple hours (depending on the time of day).