Which form is correct in the following case:
- “I appreciate his coming to the party.”
or
“I appreciate him coming to the party.”
Instances where I’ve had to choose between these have confounded me.
Is it “you helping” or “your helping”?
grammar queens will be along shortly, but I think you are mixing tenses.
Maybe change it to “appreciated” and see which one feels better.
Maybe change the sentence because it’s clunky any way you go.
“I appreciated his presence”, “I’m glad he could come to the party”, “I’m glad he came to the party”, “I was appreciative that he came,” “I appreciated the fact that he came to the party”… Not sure how you would go with it.
Do you really want to use appreciate?
Anyway, keep it in one tense and it works better.
Definitely “your helping”. Unless the sentence is something like “Are you helping or hurting? Do something useful!”
i’m helping, dad. helping
And, because I’m getting a kick out of repeatedly posting to the same thread, I don’t think you should ever use “your helping.” There is bound to be a better way to say it.
“Your helping has made this easier” would be better said as “Your help had made this easier”.
If it’s in the context of your appreciative question, “I appreciate his coming to the party and your helping keep him sober” would be better said “I appreciated his presence and thank you for your help keeping him sober”. Or something like that.
Why must one usage be correct in all cases?
In your example, it seems to me that in one case the speaker appreciates that specific person’s attendance in particular, and in the other case, the speaker appreciates that particular person for having attended. You get two slightly different shades of meaning.
In some cases, there’s no way to reconstruct the sentence to add a possessive. See this site for one view on your question.
OK, I’ve put this on this board before, but I’m sure I will again:
There are subject pronouns: I, you, they, he, she, we.
There are object pronouns: Me, you, them, him, her, us.
Objects have things happen TO them. Only subjects can DO things:
I, you, they, he, she, we brought the cake.
The water was dumped on me, you, them, him, her, us.
“I appreciate him coming here” is wrong. How can you tell? Ask the question back: “Who came?”
“Him did”. No. Obviously wrong. “Him” can’t do anything, because it is an object.
Anyway, it’s technically the “coming” you were glad to see, not “him”. I know that’s splitting hairs kind of, but it might help it make sense.
If you want more examples or explanations, just ask.
Oh, and that’s “grammar Nazi” to you, not "queen’.
“I appreciate his coming here”
“Who came?”
“His did.”
–>Wrong
“I appreciate he coming here”
“Who came?”
“He did.”
–>Correct
“I appreciate his coming here”
“whose coming?”
“his coming.”
–>Correct
It looks odd because we’re using the possessive on a verb, but it’s still correct.
I meant to preview, not post. Oops.
Anyway, what we’re dealing with here is a gerund, and not a normal verb. Kind of like “swimming”.
“I am swimming.” --> Verb
“I enjoy swimming.” --> Gerund
Further, you could say, “I enjoy his swimming,” to specify that you enjoy it when someone else swims. That would be grammatically correct, and is the same basic construction as the sentence “I appreciate his coming”.
Damn, I wanted to be the first to use the magic word gerund. A gerund is “a noun formed from a verb, denoting an action or state”.
And yes, you should use the possessive with a gerund.
I appreciate your taking the time to ask about this obscure point of grammar.
I agree with Fish. Both are correct and basically mean the same but there is a slight difference in emphasis. This is because we are strictly appreciating two different things.
“I appreciate his coming to the party.”
The person appreciates his coming. - So glad you came.
“I appreciate him coming to the party.”
The person appreciates him (for coming). - It’s really nice of you to have come.
Then again, I’m not a native speaker…
leenmi, he is not mixing tenses. The sentence, “I appreciate his coming to the party” doesn’t necessarily mean that the party already happened. It could be happening next week; the speaker appreciates the fact that he will attend the party at that time. Just like “I appreciate his agreeing to host the party” could mean that: 1) The party hasn’t happened yet but the speaker appreciates, now, that he has agreed to host it when it takes place next week; or 2) The party happened last week and the speaker appreciates, now, that he agreed to host it.
Also, “Your helping has made this easier” is also perfectly correct, as is “Your help has made this easier.” I do agree that “your helping” may sound a bit awkward but it’s not incorrect. However, if there were certain other words after it - e.g., “Your helping me out has made this easier” there would be no “oddness” about it at all.
Using the possessive form before a gerund is correct. People may not like it, people may think it “sounds weird,” but it’s correct. “I appreciate him coming to the party” is not correct, no matter how much people want it to be. And there is no difference in the meaning of those two sentences. They both mean, “I appreciate that he came to the party.”
Now, I shall review my own post for grammatical errors, because that always happens whenever replying to a thread on grammar. Sigh.
My view:
“I appreciate his coming to the party.” means that you are glad that he made the effort to come (despite the difficulties it caused him as a single, working, parent of 3 children aged under 8).
“I appreciate him coming to the party” means that you are glad that HE came (because he’s really cool and everyone will think that you’re cool because HE’s at your party).
The next two examples are not sentences so it’s impossible to know what you are getting at, but…
“You helping” goes with “You helping me out with the kids has saved me so much time” meaning that your friend is the main topic of conversation.
“Your helping” goes with “Your helping me out with the kids has saved me so much time” meaning that your friend’s helpfulness is the main topic of conversation.
Fish, bloofy_bloke, and PookahMacPhellimey are correct: either construction is ok.
See here for the prerequisite cite site.
Peace.
According to Harbrace (which is standard for American universities) and The Elements of Style by Strunk and White (which is considered “gospel” in most publishing), your best bet is to use the possessive form of the pronoun before the gerund.
Many people regard “him coming” as wrong. It’s definitely not at the level of “I saw he,” nor even “with John and I,” but it’s somewhere below the split infinitive or ending sentences with a preposition in acceptability.